Word: Inveterate

 

inveterate

[ in-vet-er-it ]

adjective

1. settled or confirmed in a habit, practice, feeling, or the like:

   an inveterate gambler.

2. firmly established by long continuance, as a disease, habit, practice, feeling, etc.; chronic.

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               Henry got up. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He went through all his normal morning habits, all while trying not to look at the second toothbrush. Doing so would cause unnecessary problems. Once he was done in the bathroom, he went to make himself some breakfast.

               It was the same every morning. A bowl of cereal and some fruit. He supposed he could make himself something hot every now and then. But the very idea of doing so made him feel wrong, somehow. No, cereal and fruit. It had served him well for years and he had no reason to change that. Besides, cooking hot breakfast had always been…Henry shook his head, banishing the unwanted thoughts. They would only get in the way.

               Now that he was fed, he needed to figure out what to do with the rest of his day. Once upon a time, he would get dressed and go to work. But he was retired now, so there was no need for that. He had his habits and traditions he could fall back on, of course. In all likelihood, he probably would. He would sit in front of the TV and browse for a while before settling on something. He never had these problems before. He rubbed his forehead. No, no he would not go down that path. Not again.

               He took a deep breath to calm himself. He glanced out the window. The view was not great, but it was outside. He had not been outside in quite some time. He had enough food to last awhile, so he had no reason to. He used to go out and tend to the lawn and driveway, more out of habit than pride. He supposed he could get back into it. It would kill a few hours, at the very least. But the more he thought about it, the more his stomach twisted. The outside. The garden, the lawn. All of it had been her…He stopped his thoughts quickly and took a series of deep breaths.

               No, it was best to stick to his current routine. It was safe. It was easy. His current habits and practices would keep the memories from bubbling up. Stay inside. Watch TV. Eat simple, easy meals. That was the best way to get through the day. He set his gaze away from the window. Maybe he would paint it over, just to avoid the temptation. He stood and headed to the couch, and sat down in his spot. He knew it was his spot because he had sat there for years. Decades, even. It embraced him like an old friend. He just had to avoid looking at the rest of the couch. Doing so would remind him of how she would…No! He shut his eyes as hard as he could. Even the good parts would lead to a poor end.

               Henry’s hand shook slightly as it grasped the remote, resting on the same spot it always had. He was shaking so much it took a few tries to hit the power button. The soft lights and sounds of the TV muted all other thoughts. And for now, Henry was able to just be. To not think the dark thoughts. To let himself wallow in dull, boring habit and mindless routine. It was how he was going to get through his days. How he was going to make it through the rest of his life.

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Oh. Now I made myself sad. Damn it. 

Word: Axolotl

 

axolotl

[ ak-suh-lot-l ]

noun

1. any of several salamanders of the genus Ambystoma that inhabit lakes and ponds of Mexico and remain in the larval stage as sexually mature adults.

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               Today was the big day. The Calling Day was probably the biggest day in a person’s life. Everyone that had recently turned 16 was gathered, and all of them were either nervous, excited, or downright terrified.

               Ben fell into the latter category. His eyes darted around the courtyard, seeing all the people. Most of them were his peers, but a number of them were adults. Parents, mostly, but the various employees went around making sure everything was in order. Ben’s parents were there too, of course, waiting to see what Spirit Beast he got. He knew he would likely take after one of his parents, but there was no guarantee.

               That was what worried him the most. His dad’s Beast was a golden eagle and his mother had a black bear. Both good Beasts that had opened up a lot of doors for both of them. What if he did not get anything like them? What if he got something like a mouse or a shrew? His life would effectively be over. Even worse, what if he failed to bond with anything? That was rare, but it did happen. Even getting a dung beetle would be better than that.

               That thought alone was enough to send a cold sweat down his back. He was shaking so much that he barely noticed the presenter starting the ceremony. He was sure it was a great speech about how all Spirit Beasts were valuable. That the abilities they gave were always good. That there was none that were better than others. Everyone knew that last part was a lie, but nobody called him out on it.

               The bonding ceremony began not long after. There were too many people present for everyone to get their own Calling, so dozens of them were done at once. This was done by gathering great groups of teens up and shoving them into rough lines. Ben was jostled and pushed until he was in place. Then he simply let himself be carried by the flow of bodies towards the nearest ceremony altar.

               He was right behind another boy, who seemed quite sure of himself. Ben wrung his hands and found the floor suddenly much more fascinating. The boy in front of him was soon given access to the altar and the ceremony performed. A large, translucent tiger emerged in a bright light.

               “Tiger. Strength, patience, senses, natural weapons.” The woman performing the ceremony said. The boy seemed quite proud of himself. The tiger Spirit Beast vanished, merging with its bond mate.

               Nobody gave the boy any congratulations. There were too many people for that. He would no doubt get a party later. But Ben could not spare another thought about that. It was his turn. He climbed the single step onto the crude, hastily constructed altar.

               The woman read the ceremony quickly. Ben felt something. A deep warmth that focused deep inside of him. It did not grow much as it moved through him though. That worried him for a moment before the feeling popped out. The altar glowed just as brightly as any other time. But the animal present was much smaller than most.

               It looked amphibious, with smooth skin and a sleek body. Four stubby limbs rested at its side, pumping through the air like it was swimming. A wide, flat head with beady eyes looked at him, and the antenna-like growths stood out, two on each side. Ben looked at his new Spirit Beast in confusion. Then he looked at the woman performing the ceremony. She looked stumped for a moment.

               Only a moment though. She waved over a worker carrying a large book. A book that she consulted with practiced ease. It only took her a few seconds to find what she was looking for.

               “Ah, here it is. Axolotl.” She said. “Bit of a rare one. Let’s see. Regeneration, preserved youth, water breathing, and minor sensory sensitivity.”

               The Beast, axolotl, apparently, did what all Spirit Beasts did. It vanished into Ben’s body and he was guided off the altar by the worker once he had reclaimed the book.  Ben could feel it though. Not quite physical, but definitely there. It swam around his body like it was water, no doubt getting used to its new home.

               Ben considered what he had been told about his new bond mate. He supposed it could be worse. But now he just had to figure out what he was going to do with all that.

 ********************************

 

They're just funny looking little guys. Shame they're endangered though. Seriously, humans pretty much wrecked the few places they live. It's not cool.

Word: Eustress

 

eustress

[ yoo-stres ]

noun

1. physical, mental, or emotional tension that is caused by something positive or is psychologically or physically beneficial: When stress enhances function, such as when you’re lifting weights or accomplishing a challenging task, it could be considered eustress.

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               Nick’s footsteps were slow and plodding as he entered the apartment. He let his briefcase fall without even bothering to put it away. He would handle that later if Kelly didn’t. He didn’t even bother to change his clothes, or even take his shoes off, before flopping on the couch. And then he did exactly nothing.

               He did not even turn the TV on. He simply sat there with vacant eyes. A small, distant part of him said that he should do something. But that part was easy to ignore. His entire body felt heavy, like he was made of lead. He vaguely heard footsteps coming from the bathroom.

               “Oh hey, you’re back.” Kelly said.

               Nick slowly turned to look at his girlfriend. She was dressed like she had come back from the gym. Not that that was a surprise.

               “I just got back myself.” She said, confirming his guess. “Seems to be happening a lot, huh? I guess we’ve just synched up our schedules now. Oh hey, maybe we should do that on purpose. You know, come back at the same time and all that.”

               Nick did not say anything. He just slowly blinked. Kelly frowned at the sight.

               “Oh dear, something’s wrong.” She came and joined him on the couch. “What’s up? Bad day at work?”

               It was a monumental effort to speak. “Something like that.”

               “Want to tell me about it?”

               “Nah.”

               “Oh come on. It’s one of the many things I’m here for.”

               Nick let out a non-committal grunt. Kelly poked his side. He groaned. She repeated the poke.

               “Another guy left.” He said. His voice sounded flat, even to his own ear. “They put all his work on me. Again. I told them I couldn’t. I told them it was too much. But they don’t listen. They never listen. And now I’m here doing five people’s jobs. And…and I…I just…I can’t. Can’t keep doing all this work. Can’t tell my bosses about it. Can’t even afford to leave. I…Kelly, I feel like I’m about to break.”

               Kelly slid in closer to him and placed an arm around his shoulders. She was quite solid. In a way that alone was comforting. Nick didn’t have the energy to do anything else but sit there. She seemed perfectly fine letting him. They remained like that for almost a minute before she said anything.

               “I’m pretty bad at giving advice, especially about job stuff. I mean, my job is just to do stuff at the gym. So yeah, I’m not going to try and tell you what to do professionally. But I will ask if you want to try going to the gym with me one of these days. A good workout is a surprisingly effective method of stress relief.”

               Nick slowly looked at her and blinked equally slowly. “Oh yeah. Because when I come home from work, completely exhausted and stressed out from over working, doing something hard and strenuous is exactly what I want to do.”

               “Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. I read online in a bunch of different places that there’s more than one kind of stress. I don’t remember the exact terms, so I’m probably about to butcher all this stuff, but there’s roughly two big categories of stress. Good stress and bad stress. Bad stress is what you’re going through at work. I don’t need to tell you much about that, because you’re living it. But good stress? That comes from things that feel bad in the moment, but end up benefiting you. Like working out. While you’re doing it, it’s hard, sweaty and can even hurt. But at the end of the day, it has all kinds of benefits. There’s even good stress for mental stuff, which I guess would be, like, solving worthwhile problems or talking to someone about your problems. They can suck, be really hard to do and feel like they’d make things worse. But once it’s all over, they leave you better off than before.”

               Nick let out a long, slow breath. This conversation definitely was not what he wanted to be doing right now. But he had heard that talking about problems could help, so maybe there was something to what she was saying. Maybe it would be worth giving it a try.

               “Okay, fine.” He said. “I’ll try it out. Just don’t expect me to keep up with you.”

               “Obviously. And not today. We’ll go on Saturday. I’ll start you off nice and light. Just get you used to everything and see how it all works out.”

               “Uh-huh.” Nick was not sure if she knew what “light” meant. He had seen the videos she posted of her workouts. They hurt just to watch.

               “But for now? Just take a few deep breaths. We can watch something dumb and just chill. Maybe order some take out?”

               “Yeah. That sounds about right.”

               It would not make things better, but for now, he could at least pretend to forget about work. And maybe a bit of exercise would do him good. If he did not have a complete mental breakdown before the weekend came anyway. 

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Remember to take care of yourself. Mentally and physically. 

 

Now I just have to remind myself to do that myself.