Word: Ad Hockery

  

ad hockery

1. reliance on temporary solutions rather than on consistent, long-term plans.

*******************************************

             Liz poked her head out just enough to look through the exposed window of the apartment building’s bottom floor. The city street smelled of decay, and were very nearly abandoned.  The only people outside at that moment chose to get around with a slow, awkward shuffling motion.  Liz kept a careful eye on the few she could see without risking them seeing her.

                “Ok, I think we’re safe here for awhile.”  She said in a loud whisper.  Her companion, Allan, lowered his backpack as softly as he could.  “Let’s find  place to stay for the night and get moving at dawn.  We’ve still got a long way to go.”

                “Why?”  Allan asked.

                “What do you mean, why?”

                “I mean, why do we need to move?  This is a nice, cozy little building.  We can hole up here and stay safe for awhile.  I be there’s lots of supplies left over, so we should be good.”

                Liz ducked away from the window and looked at Allan.  She simply could not believe he still wanted to do that. 

                “Are you kidding me?”  She asked, trying to make her angry voice as soft as possible.

                “Nope.  I mean, really.  One, maybe two points of entry.  Lots of barricade material.  High possibility of supplies.  Why shouldn’t we stick around?”

                “Because it’s not safe here, that’s why.”  Liz said.  “And there’s way more than two PoEs.  Every single window could let them in, and I don’t like our chances of boarding all of them up before they notice us.”

                “If we’re smart about it, we’ll be fine.”

                “Uh huh.  That’s what you said about the last supposed ‘safe haven’ we stayed in.  How’d that turn out?”

                Allan grumbled.  He didn’t want to admit it, but his last choice had not been the strong hold he claimed it would be.  They were lucky to get out of there in one piece.

                “Uh huh, that’s what I thought.”

                “Well then, what do you suggest?”  Allan asked.

                “You’re really asking?  How many times do I have to say it?  We get out of the city, find some people and set up where there’s food, water, and space.”

                “Right.”  Allan said, rolling his eyes.

                “It’s better than your plans.  You keep thinking all these short term, day by day things will work out forever.  At least my plan has the potential for long term stability.” 

                “Yeah, right.”  Allan grumbled.  “And how do we survive that long?  The only real weapon we have between us is out of ammo.”

                Liz cradled her shotgun like it was a child that had just been insulted.  She knew it was no good as a firearm anymore unless they got lucky and found some more shells, but that didn’t mean it was useless.  She had reinforced it with some metal plates so that it made a good, solid club.  It was why they had lasted as long as they had.

                “Here’s the way I see it.”  Allan continued.  “If we leave the city, we leave all the nice little hiding places we have here, and all the food supplies available as well.  Out in the open, we can be seen easily, and there won’t be places to hide.  Plus, out there the weather could be just as bad as they are.  So yeah, you’ll excuse me if I’m hesitant to take your supposed long term solution over my nice, cozy short term.”

                “Uh huh.”  Liz said.  “The sad thing is you actually believe that.  The only valid point you have is the weather thing, and we’ve got some nice, sturdy tents for that.  First of all, most of the deadies are here, I the cities, not out there in the country.  The few that are there may be able to spot us easily, but we’ll spot them even faster.  And we’re a lot faster on foot than they are, so it’ll be easy to outrun them.  Second, there’s almost no food supplies left here.  I mean, we practically had a party yesterday when we found that can of creamed corn.  Out there, there’s fruit, nuts, berries, and animals to hunt.  And yes, it is possible to hunt without a gun.  People used to do it all the time.  And those hiding places you love so much?  From what I’ve seen, they like to use them just as much.  I’d rather take the open ground where there won’t be any surprises than lots of cover where you don’t know what’s around.”

                “Ok, yeah, but what about the people thing?  You really think there’s anyone else besides us out there?” Allan said.  He peaked over the window sill, acting like he could see farther than he actually could.

                “You think there’s not?” Liz slumped down next to an overturned couch and set her gun on her lap.  “Listen, I have to hope there’s someone else out there.  We simply can’t be the only two real humans left.  I mean, neither of us has any real training in this situation, and we’re surviving, so imagine what those who actually know what they’re doing would accomplish.”

                Allan didn’t say anything.  He just sat and thought about the idea that the two of them were the only living humans left in the world. It wasn’t a very nice thought.  He had to admit, he wanted to believe in Liz’s idea that there were other survivors, but the more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed.

                “Well, we have to stay somewhere tonight.”  Allan said after a few minutes of silence.  “Even if you don’t want to stay here for long, you have to at least give me that much.”

                “Yeah, I know.  Wait here, I’ll see if there’s any rooms available.”  Liz stood, grabbed her gun and headed up the building’s stairs.

                Allan watched her go.  He just hoped there wouldn’t be any surprises waiting for her up there.  He knew one thing, there was no way he would survive without her.  But, since he couldn’t fight, all he could do was wait and trust she would be alright.
*******************************
Yes, it's a zombie story.  What?  You got a problem with that?  I wanted to wright a zombie story, so that's what you get.  And yeah, I know there aren't any zombies actually appearing in it, but that doesn't really matter, does it?  I mean, you know they're there, and that's enough.  At least, I think it is.

Word: Thaumaturge

              

thaumaturge

\ THAW-muh-turj \  , noun;

1. a worker of wonders or miracles; magician.

 ******************************************

                “So, what do you guys think?”  Adam asked.

                “No way.  There’s no way he’s a magician.”  Peter said.

                “Yeah, definitely not.”  Roger agreed.

                The three young boys looked at the man laying on the bench.  He was covered in rags, sported a large, bushy beard with more than a bit of dirt in it, and was ultimately, nothing but a standard homeless man.

                “He is too.”  Adam said.  “I know he is.”

                “How?”  Roger asked.

                “Jack told me so.”

                Peter and Roger looked from Adam to the homeless man, and then to each other.  That was more than enough proof for them.  After all, Adam’s older brother was the authority on just about everything as far as the three of them knew.  If Jack said the man was a magician, then he was a magician.

                “Are you sure about that?”  Peter asked, just to be on the safe side.

                “Yup.”  Adam said confidently. “Well, said the guy’s a thaum…something.  He said it was the same thing as a magician though.”

                A big word that Adam couldn’t quite pronounce was proof enough for them.  When it was Jack who said it, that was irrefutable, undeniable information that simply could not be false.

                “So what should we do?”  Roger asked.

                None of the boys answered.  They were looking at a real life magician.  It was understandable that they didn’t know how to approach him, especially when he looked like some other, less magical, homeless people.

                Adam was the first to take action.  He simply started walking and his friends feel in line behind him.  The stopped when they got closer to the man.  Then, they simply stopped and waited.  The homeless man did not react to the presence of the boys for quite some time.  Eventually though, he started stirring and even sat up.

                “What d’ya want?”  He asked.  He seemed more annoyed than anything else.

                “Is it true you’re a magician?”  Adam asked.

                “Huh?  A magician?  Who told you that?”  The man asked though his bushy beard.

                “My big brother, Jack.”

                “Jack? Jack who?”

                “Jack Franklin.”

                “Is’at so?  You’re his little brother, eh?”  The man asked, doing his best to run his fingers though his tangled beard.  He didn’t get very far and stopped before his fingers got stuck.  Adam nodded in response.  “Huh.  He did tell me he had a kid brother.  What about you two?”

                “They’re my friends.”  Adam said.

                “Let them talk, boy.  Unless they can’t.”

                “No, sir, we can talk just fine.”  Peter said.

                “Well, alright then.  You never know who can and can’t talk in this life.  Remember that, boys.”

                None of them knew what to make of that advice, or if it even was advice at all.  They just nodded slowly, which seemed to satisfy the man.

                “So, then, what did you want again?”

                “Are you really a magician?” Roger asked.

                “Oh, right.  That.”  The man said.  He leaned back on the bench and thought.  “Well, yes and no.  I guess I’m a kind of magician.  Real word for is thaumaturge though.”

                “What’s that mean?”  Peter asked.

                “It’s…well…it’s a special kind of magician, I suppose.  A bit different, but similar enough.”  The man replied.

                The boys looked at each other excitedly.  They had found a magician, a real one.  Not like the ones of TV or that came to little kid birthday parties or anything.

                “Can you show us some magic?”  Adam asked.

                “Nope.”  The man said.

                “How come?”

                “Listen, kid, thaumaturgy isn’t like the magic you see in movies or TV.  It’s real and it’s powerful.  This is the kind of stuff that can change the world.  I can’t just go firing it off willy-nilly you know.  There’s rules on when I can use it and when I can’t.  Even a little bit can have a big effect someone else.  I need a real good reason to do anything.  I mean really, if I could use my power whenever I wanted, you think I be sleeping on a park bench?”

“No?”

“Damn right I wouldn’t.  I’d be on a nice beach somewhere sipping drinks out of fruit with a fine lady on my arms.  That’s what I’d be doing if I could use it whenever I wanted.  Sorry, but it’s just not the right time now.”

“Well, when is?”  Roger asked.

“Hm, let me think.”  The man closed his eyes.  His eyes closed and his forehead wrinkled in concentration.

              “Ah, looks like you’re in luck.”  The man said.  “Ideal conditions for some nice thaumaturgy will be coming up in six months.”

              “S-six months?”  Roger exclaimed.  The other three were equally shocked at what was to them, a huge amount of time.

              “Yup, six months.  Of course, that’s a rough estimate.  I’ll be able to tell more precisely when it’s closer to time.  Come by then if you want to see something real good.”

              “Why so long?”  Peter asked.

              “Long?  Boy, six months isn’t long.  You three are lucky.  Usually I gotta wait a few years before I can do anything of any value.  So you’d better be thankful it isn’t six years.”

              “Ok.”  The three boys said in unison, and with equal disappointment in their voices. 

              “Good.  Now, unless any of you three have anything else to say, you’d better get going.  I’ve got places to be, you know.  Oh, and uh, kid, make sure to tell your brother to come by some time.  The two of us have a lot to talk about.”

              “Ok.”  Adam said.  He wanted to ask why the man knew Jack, but he figured that was a question for his brother.  Anyway, the man was getting up from the bench, and seemed like he wouldn’t be answering any more questions at that time.

              The three boys watched the dirty, homeless magician walk down the park path, heading towards the city streets.  They had no idea what the man was talking about, but they all knew where they’d be in six months.

 *********************************

So, is this homeless man really a thaumaturge?  Can he really work magic?  Or is he just an old homeless guy with delusions of grandeur and a vivid imagination?  I have no idea.  Could go either way, really.  Maybe someday we'll find out though.  Maybe.

Word: Sternutation

 

sternutation

\ stur-nyuh-TEY-shuhn \  , noun;

1. the act of sneezing.

*********************************************

Mike and Sue walked along the sunny forest trail, enjoying the sights of nature at its finest.  At least, the finest it could ever hope to get in a well traveled state run park.  Their enjoyment was cut short when they noticed the third member of their party was conspicuously absent.  They both agreed to simply stop and wait for him.  They didn’t have to wait long, as a sudden noise alerted them to the presence of their missing companion.

                Derrick trudged through the trail.  His feet seemed heavy and his thoughts clouded.  His eyes were red and watery, his face was even redder than his eyes, and he was breathing heavily through his mouth, as his nose was too stuffed to be usable for the intake of air.  As he approached Mike and Sue, he stopped and entered a furious fit of uncontrolled sneezing. The sound filled the otherwise peaceful forest, causing a few small songbirds to flutter away.

                “I tink dere mighd be some pollen in de air.”  Derrick said though his stuffed up nose once he stopped sneezing.  As soon as the words left his mouth, his nose acted up again, and he entered another sneezing fit.

                “Can’t be.  It’s too early in the season for pollen.”  Mike said. 

                “Trus me, dere’s pollen.  Lods of id.”  Another round of sneezes filled the air.

                “Did you bring you allergy meds?” Sue asked.

                “Uh huh.  Took’em.  Didn’d work.”

                “How long ago?”

                “An hour.”

                “Huh.”  Mike said.  Derrick took some pretty strong allergy medicine, and it usually started clearing him up in a matter of minutes.  “You sure you took the right pills?”

                “Uh huh.”  Derrick said before launching into more sneezes.  Once he quieted down, he took a deep breath through his nose in an attempt to clear it, if only a little.  All he accomplished was make an odd sound that was somewhere between a honk and a hiss.  “Id was working fine before.  Bud now dere’s too much pollen around.  I don’ dink I should keep going.”

                “Oh come on.”  Mike said.  “You’re gonna let a little pollen stand in your way?  We’ve been planning this for weeks.”

                Both Sue and Derrick looked at Mike blankly.  Well, Sue did anyway.  It was a bit hard for Derrick to look at anything, since he was once again, too busy sneezing out the pollen that had invaded his nose. 

                “Seriously, Mike?”  Sue asked. “You really want him to keep going when he’s like this?  If Derrick keeps going, he’ll sneeze out every drop of water in his body.”

                “Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”  Mike looked at his friend’s condition. “Ok, maybe it is that bad.  But still.  We’ve got plenty of water here.  I bet we can flush some of it out.”

                “Uh, ew?”  Sue said, clearly disgusted by the idea of using one of their water bottles to expel large amounts of mucus from Derrick’s nose.  Derrick didn’t seem to thrilled with the idea either. 

                “I’ll jus come back anoder day.  Jus make sure to look ad de pollen forcasd before, kay?”

                “Yeah, sure thing.”  Sue said.  “Go back and clear yourself up real good.  We’ll make sure to take some good pictures for you.”

                “Uh huh.” 

                Derrick turned to leave the pollen infested forest.  Before he got too far though, Mike called out to him.

                “Don’t go in the car before you’re dried up, ok?  I don’t want your snot all over everything.”  Sue glared at him for that.  “What?”  

Sue just rolled her eyes and kept walking.  The two continued their hike, doing their best to ignore the sounds of sneezing that filled the forest behind them. 

*********************************

I had allergies once.  At least, I think I did.  It was kind of weird, actually.  I didn't get any of the normal stuff.  Instead, I just got this weird little half cough thing that was really annoying and made my throat sore after awhile.  It lasted for a few years and then just disappeared.  It probably wasn't allergies because of that, but I'm not really sure what it was, so that's the best I can do.    

Word: Brobdingnagian

 

Brobdingnagian

\ brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn \  , adjective;

1. of huge size; gigantic; tremendous.

noun:

1. an inhabitant of Brobdingnag.

2. a being of tremendous size; giant.

 *****************************

                 Don craned his neck to take in the large mish-mash of metal and plastic that had been roughly formed into a roughly human shape.  It was blocky, clunky looking, and had a few too many small pieces sticking out of it, but it was still recognizable as a man.

                “It’s kinda…big.”  Don said.  It was all he could think to say about the twenty foot structure.

                “Well, yeah.  Of course it is.”  Adam said.

                “Couldn’t you make it, you know, smaller?”

                “If I did that, it wouldn’t be a giant robot, now would it?”  He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  Adam had to admit he had a point, even if it was kind of stupid.

                “Well, why does it have to be a giant robot?”  He asked.  “I mean, couldn’t you make a smaller robot?”

                “Why would I do that?”  Adam asked.  “I mean, why make a normal robot when you can make a giant one?”

                “Because it’s easier?”

                “Pff, lamer is more like it.  I mean, I guess a normal sized robot is cool, but giant robots are just awesome in every single way.” 

                Don wished he could argue with his friend’s logic.  But he had to admit Adam had something not unlike a point.  Still, this one was somewhat less than awesome.  In fact, it looked silly to Don.  He just couldn’t bring himself to tell Adam that though.  He would leave it to others in their social circle. 

                “Wasn’t it expensive though?”

                “Oh yeah, definitely.  It cost most of my life savings.  Not to mention the better part of a year to put it together.  But it was so worth it.”

                Don didn’t know what the worst thing about his friend’s words was.  He did suppose there could be some merit to the large mechanical monstrosity, but he couldn’t think of any. 

                “So, does it do anything?” Don asked.

                “Of course it does.  You didn’t think I spent that much on a building a big statue, did you?  Hang on, I’ll show you.”

                Adam ran off and returned a few minutes later with a small tablet computer in his hands.  He messed around on the screen for a minute or so,, then the robot came to life.  Sort of, anyway. 

                A loud mechanical whir issued out of the chest of the giant robot and it raised its right arm.  The movement was painfully slow, and took almost two minutes to do just that one task.  The forearm curled up at a snail’s pace and started to move back and forth.  Don sighed as he watched the robot wave to him with all the speed of a moving glacier. 

                “Pretty cool, huh?”  Adam asked.  He was clearly very proud of himself.

                “It’s a bit slow, isn’t it?” Don asked.

                “Oh that.  Yeah, I guess I couldn’t really afford parts that would let it move faster.  But hey, at least it moves.  That’s a huge achievement right there.  I mean, have you ever heard of anything this big having this level of articulation?”

                Adam emphasized his point by having the robot open and close its fingers, even moving one at a time.  Then he had it lift its leg and move its foot back and forth.  None of the movements were fast, but Don did have to admit it was impressive in its own way.  That something that big could move at all was probably quite the feat of engineering, particularly because it was able to balance on one foot for a decent length of time.

                “Ok, yeah, I guess that’s pretty good.”  Don admitted.  “But still.  It’s not really good for anything is it?”

                “Not a damn thing.  But that’s not really the point.”

                “Than what is the point?”

                “The point is I now have my own working giant robot.  Now I just have to work on a functional laser sword and flight systems for it.”  Adam was clearly very excited about the prospects of all that. 

                “Right, you get on that.”  Don said skeptically.  He was somewhat less happy about the idea of Adam having a twenty foot robot that could fly and had weapons.  He did take quite a bit of solace in the fact that such a thing would probably never happen.  At least, not in his lifetime.  

*******************************

Someday, giant robots will be a reality, and it will be glorious.  Life will be like those giant robot animes, of that, I have no doubt.  Maybe not exactly, but close enough.  They may even watch those shows and think of it like we do with other sci-fi shows (I'm looking at you Star Trek).