Thursday, February 22, 2024

Word: Sycophant

 

sycophant

[ sik-uh-fuhnt, -fant, sahy-kuh- ]
 
noun
  1. a self-seeking, servile flatterer; fawning parasite.

*********************************

               In her life, Iiana had seen a lot of nobles. She had seen a lot of royalty. Most of them had an air of arrogance around them. Even the nicest of them had it. Some quality that let her know they thought they were better than others. It was subtle in some, and obvious in others. She thought she had seen the worst of them. But now? Now there was no question she had. And his name was Prince Victor.

               The third prince had come up to her, surrounded by yes men and sycophants masquerading as friends. Iiana wanted nothing to do with the chubby royal, but he was still a royal. No matter how bad he was.

               “And then I drew my sword and told the vagabond to leave, lest his stench infect me. The fool saw my steel and ran. No doubt afraid to try anything against my superior skills.” The prince said proudly. His hangers on all told him how amazing he was for threatening a commoner just going about his day.

               “That’s…very interesting, my prince.” Iiana said through grit teeth. She cast her eyes around, hoping for a more tolerable person to converse with. The other party goer’s eyes seemed adamant on not meeting hers.

               “Yes, Of course. It was truly a fine act.” The prince said, oblivious to her tone. “No doubt comparable to some of yours.”

               Iiana had to fight to keep her tongue in check. The fool was comparing scaring off a starving person to her fighting actual monsters? She put her life on the line nearly every day so people like him could sit on their backsides and get fat. It was lucky for him that she was not allowed to bring her sword.

               The man’s sycophants had no trouble agreeing with Pince Victor. The worse part was that the man probably though they were sincere in their words.

               “Of…course, my prince.” Iiana said, putting on her largest, fakest smile.

               “You know, I’ve heard some tales about you, miss. They say you’re one of the greatest swordswomen in the world.”

               “I’ve heard that. I don’t believe it for a moment, of course.” That was a quick way to end up dead.

               “Of course you don’t. Because I bet you’ve heard word of my skills with the blade.” He said, patting the sword at his hip.

               She put her hand slightly behind her back, so that the man would not see her knuckles turning white. Of course as a royal he was allowed to carry a weapon when everyone else was deprived of theirs. That was just how the world was. But Victor was wearing the blade improperly. The scabbard would get tangled up in his legs within seconds, the belt was too loose to be useful, and the hole thing was hanging off him in a way that would throw off his balance. And that was not even considering the sword itself. The thing was practically ornamental. She very much doubted it was even sharp.

               “I’m sure your skills are a sight to behold.” She said.

               The prince’s entourage couldn’t speak his praises fast enough. Iiana barely even listened. It was clear none of them knew what they were talking about, and were simply repeating phrases related to swordsmanship without any real knowledge. Prince Victor lapped it all up like a thirsty dog.

               “Indeed, indeed.” He said. “In fact, I dare say if the two of us crossed blades, I would be the victor.”

               “Really now?” That caught her interest. With a few more words she might be able to get away with lowering his ego, if only slightly.

               “Oh yes, no doubt in my mind.”

               “My prince, it sounds to me like you’re challenging me to a duel.”

               “Am I?” He looked to his sycophants,  who went out of their way to tell him how easily she could beat her, without actually saying he should fight her. “I suppose I am.”

               “I see.” She had him now. “And what would be the stakes? Since this is not a duel of honor, there must be stakes.”

               “Ah, now that is simple. When I win, I shall be the one to court you. And, oh, on the off chance you should win, I shall give you use of my personal seal for one day.”

               Iiana schooled her expression. Access to a royal seal for a full day? She could do a lot with that. Quite a lot.

               “Very well, I accept.” She said with an exaggerated curtsey. “When shall we hold this duel? You don’t mean to hold it now, seeing as I am without my sword.”

               The prince clapped his hands loudly. The room quieted and Prince Victor made the announcement of the duel, as well as the terms. Nervous whispers filled the room. Iiana sighed inwardly. The really was the worst and most arrogant person she had met. A sword was quickly given to her. It was a decent blade, but it had obviously never seen real use. Plus, the balance was all wrong. But it would do.

               Victor drew his sword and stood in a ready stance that was so full of openings that she could riddle him with holes with her eyes closed. The call to start was given. Iiana planted her feet and held the borrowed weapon at her side.

               Prince Victor charged. He was slow, clumsy, and the tip of his sword was not even aimed at her. Even if she allowed the strike to finish, he would miss. But she was not going to do that. All it took was a flick of her wrist, and his sword clattered on the floor. She held the tip of the weapon in a vaguely threatening manner in the general direction of the prince’s neck.

               “So, I believe this makes me the victor, yes?” She asked.

               Victor stuttered and stammered. “I…no, not yet!” He grabbed his sword and swung.

               A moment later, his blade was again on the floor. This repeated several times. Iiana had not moved from her spot. The prince’s entourage kept up their act, insisting to the crowd that he was holding back, or implying that she was cheating. Anything but admit that the prince had lost.

               “I…I’m not feeling well.” The prince said after losing his sword for the sixth time. “I’m coming down with an illness. If I was at my peak, this would be an easy win for me.”

               “Very well then. We’ll continue this another day, when you are in the peak of health. We can even get the royal healer and physician to ensure that you’re healthy. Shall we use the same terms then as now?”

               Prince Victor looked around at all the eyes on him. Not all of them were trying to suck up to him. “Yes, fine. Whatever. Another day.”

               “Of course, my prince.” She curtsied again and handed the sword back to whoever it was that gave it to her. Another royal, she assumed.

               Prince Victor made a hasty retreat, followed closely by his false friends. She knew the duel would never happen, not really. But that did not matter much. While having a day with the royal seal would be wonderful, she was just happy to have humiliated a royal, even if only slightly. For her, that was worth more than all the gold in the royal treasury. 

***********************

If only it was that easy to bring arrogant idiots down a peg or two. 

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Word: Bed Rot

 

bed rot

[ bed-rot ]

verb (used without object)bed rot·ted, bed rot·ting.
  1. Also bed-rot . to spend many hours in bed during the day, often with snacks or an electronic device, as a voluntary retreat from activity or stress: Feeling the need to bed rot doesn’t always mean you're depressed.The first time I ever bed rotted was when I was 18 and had just broken up with my boyfriend.

noun
  1. the practice or an instance of spending many hours in bed during the day, often with snacks or an electronic device, as a voluntary retreat from activity or stress: People in certain professions may be particularly susceptible to bed rot because of how demanding their jobs are.There's nothing wrong with a good bed rot now and then.

 *********************************

               Victor lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling. He knew he should not be in bed. It may have been Saturday, but he had things around the house to do. Heather would need his help with things. Besides, he would need to get food sometime. He rolled over, aiming to get out of bed.

               “What’re you doing?”

               Victor froze. Heather stood, arms crossed, in the doorway. She gave him a look that was equal parts annoyance, frustration, and concern. How she managed that, he would never know.

               “Getting up. There’s things to do. I need to deal with lunch, at least.”

               “No. No, you don’t. Today, you don’t do any of that. Today, you stay in bed and let me take care of everything.”

               “But I—”

               “No buts. You park your butt on that bed and tell me what you want. I’ll take care of everything.”

               Victor groaned, but lay back down. It was useless to argue with her. She was too stubborn to relent easily. She sighed and sat down next to him.

               “Look, I know it isn’t easy for you. I know you like to keep busy. But after yesterday, you need this. You need to take a day off. Play some games, watch some movies. Do anything other than think about work.”

               “Yesterday wasn’t that bad.”

               “Vic, you damn near had a full-blown panic attack. I saw your mind start to snap. It’s a wonder you didn’t blow up and start screaming at people just for existing.”

               He wanted to refute that. But he knew she was right. He had wanted to chew his boss’s head off when he had gotten another person’s assignment plopped onto him. And while Heather was visiting on her downtime too. He was not in a good headspace after that.

               “I…Is just sitting here really going to help?”

               “For one day? No. For several days? Yes. Vic, honey, trust me, you need rest. And no, going to sleep doesn’t count. There’s a difference between sleep and rest. Hell, you barely get enough sleep, let alone proper rest. Sitting here doing nothing is just what the doctor ordered. And I do mean that literally.”

               “One of the benefits of being married to a psychiatrist, huh?”

               “Damn right. Now lay back down. Don’t think about work. Forget you even have a job. Just turn your brain off and do some of those mindless activities we used to do when we were still dating. Remember those? Actually fun things that didn’t involve risking a panic attack every day?”

               “Vaguely. Which I guess is the point, right?”

               “One of them, yes. Now just chill out and let me get you some lunch. And don’t let me catch you out and about. You need a day off your feet.”

               She stood and headed out of the room. She poked her head back in the doorway, but didn’t say anything, just to remind him that she was there. He chuckled as she disappeared. He sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe she was right. Maybe a day or two of letting himself unwind was best. He certainly needed it. Life would catch up to him eventually, but for now none of it mattered. 

*********************************

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Remember that and take a day or two to just relax and unwind. Let the stress of living go. At least for a little while.

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Word: Quotidian

 

quotidian

[ kwoh-tid-ee-uhn ]
adjective
  1. daily: a quotidian report.

  2. usual or customary; everyday: quotidian needs.

  1. ordinary; commonplace: paintings of no more than quotidian artistry.

  2. (of a fever, ague, etc.) characterized by paroxysms that recur daily.

noun
  1. something recurring daily.

  2. a quotidian fever or ague.

    *******************************

                   Mr. Everett Mann woke up just before sunrise. He knew it was just before sunrise simply because that was when he woke up. So far, he had never been wrong. And, sure enough, the sky was still dark out his window, but there were sure signs that the sun was coming up. Mr. Mann stretched and yawned as he got out of bed to get ready for his day.

                   It was the same routine every morning, so he was well prepared for it. Do a few morning stretches. Use the restroom, where he would brush his teeth and shower in addition to taking care of various bodily functions. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. And then he would sit down and begin his morning tasks.

                   These were done every day at exactly the same time, and he had done them so often that he could perform them with his eyes closed. Maybe not in his sleep, but he felt he was close to that as well. He sat at his computer and turned it on. The screen lit up with what Everett thought was a map. It seemed at first glance to be a map of the entire North American continent, but there were enough differences to lead him to believe that it was fictional. An extra bit of land here, a missing island there. Just a few little things. Florida being conspicuously absent had always been his guilty favorite.

                   He typed in the code given to him on his first day performing these tasks. He knew it by heart, as it never changed. The screen flashed red, and he flipped a switch on the wall near his desk. The screen turned yellow. He turned a knob on the desk exactly 90 degrees. The screen turned green. Then he waited.

                   He waited there for thirty minutes, an amount of time that he could count out in his mind with only a few seconds error. During that time, nothing happened. Just as nothing happened every day. He used to wonder if something was supposed to happen during his wait. He supposed that something could happen. He had a book in the desk drawer filled with things to do if something happened.

                   Sometimes he thought about what he would do if something happened. How would he react? Such an alarming change would surely take him a moment to process, and who knew if that would cause any problems? Well, he had been performing his tasks for many years now, and he had never seen anything happen on the screen during his thirty-minute wait. He was almost glad of that. After so long, change seemed off-putting and foreign.

                   With his daily tasks complete, Mr. Everett Mann stood. He shut the computer off and went about his day. He left his bedroom and headed off, to see what the rest of the day had in store for him. He imagined that it would be much the same as every other day. And for him, that was all he needed in life.

                  

    ********************************

    Hmm, I wonder what this could be about...

    No really, I wonder. I have no idea where I would go with this.