sozzled
\ SOZ-uhld \ , adjective;
1. Slang. drunk; inebriated.
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Dale sat
at a small, unoccupied table and watched the spectacle unfold in front of him
in the middle of the room. Two girls,
both of them drunk out of their minds were dancing on the top of a large table
that had been set up there. Dancing
might have been too strong of a word though, as it was more like a full body convulsion
they were having simultaneously. The
equally drunk guys around the table didn’t seem to mind though.
“Oh god,
it’s horrible, isn’t it?” Said a girl
next to him. She sat in a seat next to
him and watched the show. Dale didn’t
give her much of a look, as his eyes were drawn inexplicably to the ‘dancing’.
“It’s
like a train wreck in progress. You know
it’s a terrible thing, but you just can’t look away.” Dale said to the new comer. The girl next to him chuckled at the analogy.
“So
what, you don’t find two drunk girls taking each other’s clothes off appealing?” Him new companion asked.
“Nope. Besides, those two aren’t really doing
that. It looks more like they’re just
getting tangled in their own shirts right now.”
“So they
are.”
“Also,
you kind of have to be as drunk as those guys to find this appealing.” He said, pointing to the staggering, boozed up
crowd.
“And I
take it you’re not?”
“Not
even close. The only drinks I’ve had
tonight are things acceptable for kids.
“Ah, the
DD I take it?”
“Damn
right.”
“Sorry.”
“Why? I’d rather be here and have my mind intact
that be there.”
“So you
never drink?”
“Nope. Personally, I find the entire thing distasteful. The idea of drinking the world’s slowest
poison for fun just isn’t something I enjoy.”
“You
know, they say a little alcohol is good for you.”
“Two glasses
of red wine a day, I know. But there’s
no red wine here, and nobody stopped at two glasses.”
“Well,
if it helps, I also haven’t touched any drinks today, so at least you have
someone to talk to now.”
Dale
finally turned to look at who he was talking to. He had to keep himself from doing a double
take when he saw her. She was gorgeous,
with long black hair that hung around her delicate features like a silk
curtain. She way better looking than the
two drunks on the table. He suddenly had
every motivation to not look at the liquored up dancers.
“Yeah,
that is nice.” He said, “Usually the
only people I talk to at these things can’t put together a coherent sentence.” She giggle at that.
“I’m
Sandy, by the way.” She said, holding
out her hand.
“Dale.” He said, taking it. He considered kissing it, but she retracted
it before he could.
“So then
Dale, if you don’t drink, why do you come to parties like this?”
“Because I have to. See those guys over there?” He pointed out a group of guys in matching
blue and yellow shirts that had crowded around the dancers.
“Yeah?”
“I came with
them. They’re some friends of mine,
see. And they basically need me. I mean that literally. If I wasn’t around those guys would be
helpless. I’m not only their personal
DD, but a lot of other things too.”
“Ah. So what, are they just really dumb?”
“Nope. They’re actually really smart. They just lack things like common sense and
mental filters. It wouldn’t be so bad if
they put their brains to good use instead of wasting them like they are now.”
“Oh, wow. That sucks.
Being dumb is one thing, but smart people acting dumb is just terrible.” She said with barely contained mirth.
“Yeah
really. I can’t even use veiled insults
on them, because they’re smart enough to know they’re being made fun of.”
“Oh, ouch.”
“Mm hm. So what about you? Are you the perma DD in your group, or did
you just draw the short straw?”
“A little of
both actually. I’m not always the DD,
but even when I’m not, I usually end up in that position because I don’t drink
too much. One or two and I’m usually
done for the night.”
“Ah. And you’re group?”
“Well two of
them are on the table now. And the
others look like they want to join.”
“Oh that’s
going to be interesting in the morning.”
Dale said. This time it was his
turn to stifle laughter.
“You know
it. The sad part is, they’re usually the
nicest sweetest girls I know. They
usually make fun of girls who do what they’re doing now.”
“Really now?”
“Yup. The girl trying to get her shirt removed
works at an animal shelter because she wants to. And the girl trying to remove said shirt is
one of the best comp sci TAs on campus.”
“And thus we
see the dangers of alcohol. That two
fine individuals like that can be reduced to horrible stripper dancing for a
bunch of drunk frat boys after a few shots really shows what the stuff does to
people.” Dale said.
“Amen to that.” Sandy said, raising an imaginary glass. Dale did the same and they touched the air
cups together in a mock toast.
Just then, one
of the dancers slipped off the table and into the arms of the crowd. There were enough bodies there that none were
hurt in any way. In fact, the girl was
laughing hysterically as the guys tried to help her back onto the table to
finish the ‘dance’. Sandy took the fall
as a signal that it was time to finish up though, and stood to rescues her
friend.
“Sorry Dale,
but I gotta go deal with this now.”
“No
problem. I should probably take care of
my guys before one of them looses their lunch.”
“Probably a
good idea. Before I go though…” She pulled a pen from her pocket and
scribbled a few numbers on a nearby napkin.
“Here, call me sometime, kay?”
“Yeah, sure.” Sale said, taking the napkin like it was
something holy. “See ya around then?”
“Definitely.” She said.
Dale watched
her walk off. He silently thanked his
friends for being such avid party goers before heading off himself to save them
from themselves.
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Incidentally, I myself have never been to a party of this nature before. Whether or not that's a good thing remains to be seen though. Also, my personal views of alcohol are similar to the character in this story, but not quite the same. I also don't drink because I don't like that burning feeling you get when it does down your throat. It's just not fun for me.
Great to have a perma DD!
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