Word: Momism

Definitions for momism

1. excessive adulation of the mother and undue dependence on maternal care or protection, resulting in absence or loss of maturity and independence.

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“Thanks again mom!”  Said Kevin as he bounded down to the basement, clutching the new video games his mother, Abby, had just bought him.

                “Of course sweety, have fun.”  Abby called down to her boy.  Abby’s husband, Louis just grumbled at the sight.

                “You’re cuddling him too much.”  The large man said.

                “Oh hush, you.  I’m doing no such thing.”  Abby replied.  She started emptying the grocery bags she and Kevin had brought in along with the games. 

                “Yes, you are.  Trust me, you are.”

                “There’s nothing wrong with a mother buying things for her son, is there?”

                “No, I suppose there isn’t.  But he’s not a little boy anymore.  You shouldn’t need to buy him anything.  Let him get his own things.”

                “Yes, he doesn’t need to, but I want to.” 

                Louis stood and went to help his wife put the food stuffs she had just bought away.  He would have called his son up, but Abby most likely would object for whatever reason. 

                “It’s not good for him you know.”  He said.

                “What’s wrong with it?  So I like to treat my son.  What exactly makes that unhealthy?”

                “Nothing by itself.  It’s how you treat him all the time.  He’s never left home or done anything by himself.  You’re just making him completely dependent on you.  That’s what’s the problem.”

                “You never had any problem with my relationship with him before.  What’s changed now?”

                “Now?  Now?  You really have to ask that?  Abby, he’s 32 years old and is living in our basement.  He still treats you like he did when he was a kid, and you’re apparently willing to put up with it.  He’s got to grow up some time you know.”

                “He will on his own time.”  Abby said.  She was quite sure of her words, much to Louis’ disappointment.

                “Not with the way you treat him he won’t.”

                “Oh please.  It’s not like he does everything with me around.  He does have a job and friends you know.”

                “Oh sure, sure.  Except he works at your office with you and his friends are also your friends.”

                “So we have the same interests in people and careers.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”  Abby said while opening the refrigerator.  She didn’t see Louis rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration.

                “He got his job specifically because it was in your office, and he made friends with people because they’re also your friends.  If he just had similar interests, fine.  But he can pursue them somewhere else.  You know what he said when I asked him about it?”

                “No, what?”

                “He said you’re the reason he works at all.  I don’t know the exact words, but he said something along the lines of if you weren’t working, he wouldn’t be working.”

                “Oh it can’t be that bad.”  Abby said.  She finished putting things away and closed the door.  She faced Louis and leaned against the fridge door.  “I mean, it’s not like he’s totally helpless.”

                “He might as well be.  Like I said, he’s pretty much completely dependent on you.  That needs to change.”

                Abby thought about it for a moment.  She didn’t want to admit it, but he had a point.  She went over Kevin’s behavior in her mind and he did stay with her quite a bit more than was necessarily healthy.  Her maternal instinct didn’t mind that though, and she still very much wanted to be with her son.

                “Well then, we just have to talk to him about it, don’t we?”  She said.  “Maybe set a few ground rules and such.  You know, things that get him to open up to other options and such.”

                “No, that’s not good enough.  He’ll do what you tell him to and then come crawling back.”

                “Well what do you propose then?”

                “We need to kick him out.  Make him get his own place far from here.”

                Abby was horrified.  The idea of forcing their son out of her life was simply unthinkable.  She wondered how Louis could even think of such a thing.  True, Kevin may have been a tad bit clingy, and perhaps could even be called dependent, but actually forcing him off on his own unprepared?         

                “Why would we do that?  There’s no need to go to such extremes, is there?”  She asked.

                “Extremes?  This isn’t extreme.”  Louis replied.  “It’s completely normal.  Hell, we should’ve done it years ago, I say.  Parents do this all the time you know.  Look, it’s not like we’ll kick him out today or tomorrow or anything.  We’ll give him a few months to find a good place to stay, and maybe even a job if he’s lucky.  If we need to we’ll even help out with the search.  This is for the best, you know.  He needs this more than anything right now.”

                “I don’t know…”

                “Look, if he stays here, nothing will ever change with him.  He won’t grow up.  He’ll never find a girl.  Never get married.  We will never be grandparents.  Is that what you want?”

                The mention of the word “grandparent” triggered something in Abby.  He was right.  She would never be a real grandma if Kevin stayed at home his entire life clinging to her.  She hated to admit it, but Louis was right.  They had to make him live somewhere else.  Birds kicked their kids out of the nest all the time, so why shouldn’t she?  It would be hard, but she had to do it for the sake of future kids calling her grammy. 

                “Alright, fine.  But let me break it to him, it’ll probably be best that way.”  She said.  Louis nodded and stepped aside. 

Abby took a deep breath and steeled herself for one of the hardest talks in her life.  Slowly, she began the trek down to the basement where her son was waiting for her.  

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Too bad this word didn't arrive on Mother's Day, right?  That would've been perfect.  Oh well, enjoy it anyway.  And if you don't live at home, go call your mom, m'kay?  She probably won't mind.  Probably.