transmogrify
[trans-mog-ruh-fahy, tranz-]
1. to change in appearance or form, especially strangely or grotesquely; transform.
*****************************************************
The thing was a metal box around three feet on all
sides. One of them had a sliding panel
that revealed it was hollow. Another side was home to a small screen, keyboard,
and a few lights. The other sides were
largely unoccupied, save for a few slots for cords.
“I call
it a transmogrifier.” Eddie said
proudly. He stood over the box and
displayed it like it was a prize on a game show.
“I
don’t think you can call it that.” Jeff said.
“I’m pretty sure it’s already taken.”
“Oh,
I’m sure Calvin won’t mind. In fact,
he’d probably enjoy my version.”
“I’m
not too worried about a cartoon character’s approval. I’m more concerned about the lawyers that’ll
swarm you for copyright infringement.”
“Eh,
whatever. I’ll deal with them when the
time comes. Anyway, you want to see what
it does?”
“I
guess so. I’m guessing it’s supposed to
work like the one in the comics?”
“Kind
of. The biggest difference is that mine
actually works though.”
“You
sure there won’t by any imaginary tigers and worms running around?”
Eddie
shot his friend an annoyed look. How
Jeff could doubt his scientific prowess was beyond Eddie’s understanding. After all the things he had created, how
could there be any doubt that his newest one would be nothing but amazing?
“Nothing
of the sort.” Eddie said. “Besides,
there is one other big difference. Mine
only transforms inorganic compounds into other inorganic compounds. Nothing living of any kind will be affected
by my version.”
“Ah. So no changing into giant bugs or dinosaurs?”
“As
much fun as that would be, no. It’s
great for changing a rock into metal, or changing metal into another type, or
some such, but that’s it. I mean, it
still has a lot of practical uses, it just can’t be used like in the comics.”
“Probably
better that way. It’d kind of such suddenly becoming a worm or something like
that. Although, I wouldn’t mind being a
bird for a while.”
“Changing
species would get real messy real fast.
Trust me, it’s better to stick to inorganics for the real thing.”
“Yeah,
I guess so. So, are you going to show me
what it can do?”
Eddie
smirked and got his test ready. He took
a rock he had picked up outside and placed it into the box. He turned it on and fiddled with the keyboard
for awhile. He then made the announcement
that he would turn the lump of granite into iron. A few more keystrokes and the machine started
buzzing.
It
hummed and whirred for several minutes before coming to an abrupt halt. Eddie opened the door and stepped back. A thick, black tar-like substance oozed out
and onto the table. It let off a putrid
odor, like burning metal, asphalt and paint mixed into one.
“Okay,
so there’s still some bugs to work out.”
Eddie admitted.
“Just a
few, huh?”
“Yeah,
a few. I’m pretty sure I can get them
all worked out pretty soon though.”
“Uh
huh. Good luck with that. Call me when it actually works, okay?”
*********************************************
If you don't know what comics they're talking about, then I weep for you. I mean, seriously, who doesn't know about Calvin and Hobbes? And if you've been living under a rock or something similar and are unaware of that particular comic strip, then go read some of it ASAP. And even if you do know about them, go read some anyway, just because.
No comments:
Post a Comment