Monday, June 27, 2016

Word: Transmogrify





transmogrify

[trans-mog-ruh-fahy, tranz-]

verb (used with object), transmogrified, transmogrifying.
1. to change in appearance or form, especially strangely or grotesquely; transform.

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               The thing was a metal box around three feet on all sides.  One of them had a sliding panel that revealed it was hollow. Another side was home to a small screen, keyboard, and a few lights.  The other sides were largely unoccupied, save for a few slots for cords. 
                “I call it a transmogrifier.”  Eddie said proudly.  He stood over the box and displayed it like it was a prize on a game show.
                “I don’t think you can call it that.” Jeff said.  “I’m pretty sure it’s already taken.”
                “Oh, I’m sure Calvin won’t mind.  In fact, he’d probably enjoy my version.”
                “I’m not too worried about a cartoon character’s approval.  I’m more concerned about the lawyers that’ll swarm you for copyright infringement.”
                “Eh, whatever.  I’ll deal with them when the time comes.  Anyway, you want to see what it does?”
                “I guess so.  I’m guessing it’s supposed to work like the one in the comics?”
                “Kind of.  The biggest difference is that mine actually works though.”
                “You sure there won’t by any imaginary tigers and worms running around?”
                Eddie shot his friend an annoyed look.  How Jeff could doubt his scientific prowess was beyond Eddie’s understanding.  After all the things he had created, how could there be any doubt that his newest one would be nothing but amazing?
                “Nothing of the sort.” Eddie said.  “Besides, there is one other big difference.  Mine only transforms inorganic compounds into other inorganic compounds.  Nothing living of any kind will be affected by my version.”
                “Ah.  So no changing into giant bugs or dinosaurs?”
                “As much fun as that would be, no.  It’s great for changing a rock into metal, or changing metal into another type, or some such, but that’s it.  I mean, it still has a lot of practical uses, it just can’t be used like in the comics.”
                “Probably better that way. It’d kind of such suddenly becoming a worm or something like that.  Although, I wouldn’t mind being a bird for a while.”
                “Changing species would get real messy real fast.  Trust me, it’s better to stick to inorganics for the real thing.”
                “Yeah, I guess so.  So, are you going to show me what it can do?”
                Eddie smirked and got his test ready.  He took a rock he had picked up outside and placed it into the box.  He turned it on and fiddled with the keyboard for awhile.  He then made the announcement that he would turn the lump of granite into iron.  A few more keystrokes and the machine started buzzing.
                It hummed and whirred for several minutes before coming to an abrupt halt.  Eddie opened the door and stepped back.  A thick, black tar-like substance oozed out and onto the table.  It let off a putrid odor, like burning metal, asphalt and paint mixed into one.
                “Okay, so there’s still some bugs to work out.”  Eddie admitted. 
                “Just a few, huh?”
                “Yeah, a few.  I’m pretty sure I can get them all worked out pretty soon though.”
                “Uh huh.  Good luck with that.  Call me when it actually works, okay?”  
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If you don't know what comics they're talking about, then I weep for you.  I mean, seriously, who doesn't know about Calvin and Hobbes?  And if you've been living under a rock or something similar and are unaware of that particular comic strip, then go read some of it ASAP.  And even if you do know about them, go read some anyway, just because.  

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