Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Word: Simoleon

simoleon

[suh-moh-lee-uh n]
noun, Slang.
1.
a dollar.
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                “So, how much did you pay for this again?”
                “One dollar.”
                “You’re kidding, right?”
                “Nope.”
                “Seriously?”
                “Yeah, seriously.  The guy only wanted a dollar for it.”
                “Wow.  That’s, um...”
                “Great, isn’t it?”
                “I was going to say suspicious, but yeah, that too.”
                “Suspicious how?”
                “Well, come on, you can’t tell me you didn’t have a problem paying a single dollar for that.  I mean, come on, it’s worth hundreds, at least.”
                “I think he was just being nice.”
                “No way.  There’s got to be something wrong with it.  Maybe it’s broken.”
                “No, it works just fine.  I tried it out before I bought it.”
                “Huh.  Weird.  Does it smell bad like cat pee or something?”
                “Smell for yourself.  It doesn’t have any weird smells.  It’s not falling apart either.”
                “Maybe it’s stolen?”
                “Nah.  If it was stolen, they guy would probably have wanted more than a buck for it.  I mean, it takes a lot of work to steal something like this, you know?  He’d probably have asked for at least a hundred if it was stolen goods.”
                “I…guess that’s kind of true.  But that still doesn’t change the fact that it’s suspicious.”
                “You’re just jealous, aren’t you?”
                “Wh-what?  Why would I be jealous?”
                “Because I got this for pretty much nothing, and you wish you’d have had that chance.”
                “No way. I wouldn’t have taken it, for one.”
                “Yeah, right.  Like you wouldn’t have jumped on this the first chance you had.”
                “No, I wouldn’t.  It’s just not right.   I mean, why would anyone sell this for a dollar?  I reeks of a scam.”
                “There’s no scam.  It was just a nice guy selling something for way less than it’s worth.”
                “Yeah, see, it’s that whole nice guy thing.  I don’t buy it.  Nobody’s that nice.”
                “Well, this guy was.”
                “I bet it’s bugged.  Like, there’s cameras and listening devices all around it, and it’ll pick up on everything you do so he can steal your identity or something.”
                “You know, I hadn’t actually thought of that.  I guess that’s a possibility.”
                “Yeah, and he only charged you a dollar so that he had more to steal one he got into your bank account.”
                “But then how would he do that?  I mean, it’s not like I’ll be saying my pin number out loud when I use it or anything.  And there’s no way I’ll be saying any passwords or my social or anything like that.”
                “Ever fill out a check around it?”
                “Uh, once or twice.”
                “There you go.  The checks have your account number on them.  Once he knows that, he has you.  Once he gets into your bank account, it’s all over.”
                “Oh come on, it can’t be that easy.  I mean, I just have to cover up the bottom numbers, right?”
                “You can’t have them covered up all the time you know.  Eventually, it’ll see those numbers, and if a camera happens to be pointed at it, you’re done.”
                “Wow.  That’s kind of scary.”
                “Kind of scary?  It’s downright terrifying.  You should get rid of this thing ASAP.”
                “But it’s so nice.”
                “Yeah, but your financial security could be at risk.  And besides, it’s not like you paid a lot for it.”
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The thing that they're talking about and the people who are talking are pretty much any object and any people you want them to be.  That's the fun of writing this kind of story.  It's as many stories as there are readers. 

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