equipoise
[ee-kwuh-poiz, ek-wuh-]
1. an equal distribution of weight; even balance; equilibrium.
2. a counterpoise.
3. to equal or offset in weight; balance.
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Don’t look down. That’s the first thing they tell you. Whatever you do, don’t look down. Yeah, right. Easier said than done. I mean, come on. How am I supposed to not look down when they
tell me not to? It’s not possible. Seriously, that river just makes me want to
look down even more, just to see how doomed I am if I fall. Just remember, keep your eyes on the other
side. Okay, I think…I think I can do
that. Probably. Maybe.
Now
then, the stuff. I’m supposed to keep it
all balanced, right? How do they do
that? I mean, there’s so much of it that
I’m not sure how I’m even carrying it all.
And how is a big stick supposed to keep me from falling to me
death? Oh god, I think something’s out
of whack. I can feel it. Something is making me tilt, which makes the
rope sway, which makes me fall.
I
should just turn back. I mean, I’m still
closer to the start than to the finish, right.
Okay, no I’m not. Wow. When did that happen? I am definitely in the middle of the
rope. What do I do? Do I keep moving? Yeah, I should probably keep moving. Turning around is probably a bad idea. I mean, there isn’t exactly a lot of room to
turn here. And if I try, something might
get disturbed. And if that happens…yeah,
don’t think about that.
And for
god sakes, don’t you dare look down. Why
did I just think that? I shouldn’t have
thought that. Now I want to look down
again. Just keep the pole even and the
rest of the stuff from moving and you’ll be fine. That’s what they said.
Why did
I even agree to do this? It’s stupid and
dumb and…and…wait, don’t stupid and dumb mean pretty much the same thing? I think they do. Or at least they mean something that might as
well be the same. So does that mean if
something is stupid, it’s also dumb?
Must be. So, if this is stupid, I
don’t need to call it dumb then.
Idiotic? No, same thing. Well, whatever it is, it’s stupid and
dangerous and not fun at all.
I mean,
come on. Who’s the head case that
thought walking across a piece of rope with a big stick was a good idea? And who was the one who thought making it
into a camping trip would be even better? I bet someone with a death wish, that’s
who. I mean come on, we needed to bring
a set of scales to make sure we were all even on both sides. Scales...on a camping trip. Yeah, that’s smart. I mean, couldn’t we just go to a lake or
something? That would be a lot more fun
without the risk of plummeting to your doom because you forgot to bring the
right number of socks or something. And
let’s not forget that a good, stiff breeze is enough to knock me off this
thing.
Hm? Did I?
Yup, I made it. I really made it
across. You know, that wasn’t as bad as
I thought it’d be.
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Tightrope walking is dangerous without proper training. Carrying camping equipment while tightrope walking is dangerous even with proper training. I would advise against doing either of those two thing. Seriously, just don't.
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