deipnosophist
[ dahyp-nos-uh-fist ]
noun
1. a person who is an adept conversationalist at table.
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Why? Why is he talking so much? Doesn’t he know that dinner time is eating
time, not talking time? I mean, really,
who holds a conversation during dinner? Some
light chatting is fine, but a full-blown conversation? Who does that, really? And why is everyone else responding to him?
Don’t
encourage him, damn it! It’ll just make
him think he can talk more. I liked it
before he came. I liked the nice, quiet
dinners. Sure there was some talking,
but not like this. Never like this. Who brought this guy anyway? Oh right, Sally. Damn Sally.
She never had a good taste in guys.
She always picks guys who like to talk.
Ugh, I can’t even imagine dating someone like that. The kind of person who wants to talk. Who would subject themselves to someone like
that? Okay, maybe another person who
likes to talk. I can see that being a
good match.
But that’s
not us. We don’t sit around the table
talking to each other. The most we do is
ask how your day went. Maybe some talk
about future events, but that’s about it.
But this guy? This guy’s
disrupting that. He’s turning dinner
time into talking time. Talking is for
before and after dinner, not during.
Dessert is fine. You can have a
conversation over dessert. And appetizers
were practically made to eat during a conversation. Those I can understand. But the actual dinner? No way.
That, you sit down and eat.
What I really
want to know now is why nobody seems to think this is weird. Why are they just yakking away like nothing’s
wrong? Wait. Wait a minute. Am…am I the weird one? Am I the only one who thinks like this? Does everyone else want to have a
conversation during dinner?
That can’t
be right, can it? I mean, everyone in
this family is like this, right? We just
sit down and eat dinner. No conversation,
no long-winded speeches. Nothing like
what’s happening now. Could it be that
that’s odd? That how we do things is
abnormal, and most people are like that guy?
No. No, that can’t be right. I would’ve noticed if that was the case,
right? I mean, sure I don’t really hang
out with a lot of other people, and maybe I don’t go out very often. And okay, I admit I’m not the most observant
person around, especially when I’m focused on something. But surely, I would’ve noticed all that
conversation going on. I mean, I probably
would have noticed. Maybe.
Maybe…maybe
I should try it? Maybe I should actually
try participating in this conversation.
Would that help? Would that allow
me to see why everyone’s spending as much time talking as they are eating. Who knows, maybe I’d even enjoy it. And maybe it could lead to conversation with
other people, in other places. Maybe…maybe
Sally’s new boyfriend is just what I need to become more social. This could be good for me.
Well,
here I go…
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I know most people talk to each other during dinner. I know it's a normal thing. That doesn't mean I feel the need to be an active participant though.
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