dilly
\ DIL-ee \ , noun;
1. Informal. something or someone regarded as remarkable, unusual, etc.: a dilly of a movie.
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The small group gathered around to watch in amazement as Jeremy
worked. His hands flew with lightning
speed and almost mechanical precision as they flew over the two keyboards. His eyes darted from one glowing monitor to
the other and back again so fast that those watching wondered whether he really
saw anything at all.
“How
they hell does he do it?” One of them
whispered, hoping the sound wouldn’t break the programmers concentration.
“No
idea, but it’s sure something to watch.”
Whispered another.
“It’s
suspicious is what it is.” Mary muttered
to herself. She was new in the small
software company, and was seeing their star programmer working for the first
time. She had to admit she was
impressed, but there was something that didn’t sit quite right with her. The guy was writing two completely different
programs at once, and doing it both faster and better than anyone else could
manage with one. Very large red flags
were being hoisted in her mind as she watched.
After
nearly an hour of nonstop typing, Jeremy finished the days work, and pushed
himself away from the desk. He cracked
his knuckles with a smug grin on his face as he turned to face the crowd. The people gathered waited for him to speak
with baited breath, as if his next words would be the most important things
they would ever hear.
“What’s
everyone looking at?” He asked as if he
had just become aware of them, “Is there something on my face?” He made a show of picking at some imaginary
piece of something stuck in his teeth. “No? Alright then, I guess the shows over,
eh? ‘Sides, don’t you all have stuff to
do?” He asked. And just like that, everyone seemed to be
suddenly reminded of the fact that they had their own assignments to take care
of. The crowd dispersed as the people
chatted with each other, making their way back to their respective work
stations. Mary was the only one that
didn’t.
“Something
you want?” Jeremy asked when he saw she
wasn’t moving.
“How’d
you do that?” She asked bluntly.
“What?”
“You
know what I mean. The programs. How’d you write two at once like that?”
“Oh,
that. Sorry honey, but a magician never
reveals his secrets.”
“Yeah,
but you’re no magician, so spill.”
“Oh but
I am. These fingers of mine? They work magic.” He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers
in the air.
“Really?” She said skeptically.
“Yup. You saw me work. How could you think otherwise?” He was obviously very proud of himself, but
Mary was determined to find out his secret.
“I saw something. I just want to know what it was.”
“Sorry,
but no can do. Well, maybe there is one
thing…” He said, looking her up and
down.
“What’s
that?”
“Let me
take you out to dinner some time, and I might consider telling you.”
“Eh,
sorry, but I have a boyfriend already.”
She didn’t, but he wasn’t really her type, and frankly, he seemed like a
big jerk.
“Too
bad. Well, in that case, sorry, but
nothing doing.” He turned to walk
away. Mary grumbled to herself. She just had to know why he was able to do
something so remarkable.
“Alright,
fine.” She said, “One date. And only one.”
“Now
that’s more like it.” He said, moving in
closer to her.
“Yeah,
yeah. Now, you have to tell me how you
did that.”
“Technically
no. We haven’t gone on the date yet, and
I didn’t say I would, I just said I’d consider it.”
“What?” Mary exclaimed, maybe a bit too loud. “B-but that’s…”
“Hey, I
didn’t say I wouldn’t tell. In fact, I’m
feeling generous, so I think I will. But
you do have to swear not to blab about it.”
“I can
keep a secret.” She said with perfect
sincerity. Jeremy looked at her for a
second, eyeing her up.
“Alright
then, come on. We should go somewhere
where we’re less likely to be overheard.”
He was already leaving even as he spoke.
Mary had no choice but to follow him.
They ended up in a supply closet.
Jeremy was very certain to make sure nobody was listening through the
door before he started.
“Ok,
you wanted to know how I can program the way I can? Well, it’s simple. Computers talk to me.” He said with a matter-of-fact tone to his
voice. Mary was unable to think of what
that could mean.
“Huh?” She asked.
“I mean
it. They talk to me.”
“Yeah,
ok. They talk to me too. It’s called a speaker.”
“Sure,
but the thing is, I can talk back. And
not with a microphone either. I mean
with nothing but my brain.” He acted
like what he was saying was the most normal thing in the world. Mary just thought he was either crazy or
joking with her. She hoped it was the
latter.
“So,
what? You’re psychic?”
“Yup. Technopathic to be precise. I can talk with computers as easily as I am
with you now. Well no, that’s not
right. For me, it’s even easier to talk
with computers, since I can just think it.”
“This
is a joke, right?” Mary said.
“Nope.”
“Oh. In that case, you’re nuts.”
“No to that too. I’m being serious. Hell, when I was programming earlier, I was
just hitting keys at random. The real
work was all going on up here.” He said,
tapping his forehead.
“You do know how insane that
sounds, right?”
“Hey, you asked. I’m simply telling you what you wanted to
know.”
“I see. Well, in that case, you wouldn’t mind proving
it, would you?”
“No sweat. You got a phone?”
Mary took out her brand new cell
phone. Jeremy looked directly at
it. All of a sudden, the screen lit up,
even though she hadn’t touched it. She
watched, completely dumbfounded as the password was typed in and the notepad
app started itself. A new note was
opened and the words “told you,” appeared on the screen. Mary tried to get a different app working,
but the phone was suddenly unresponsive to her touch.
“How’s that for proof?” Jeremy asked with a smug grin on his
face. “Oh, and you should probably stop
charging it so often. It doesn’t like
that too much. Plugging it in when it’s
about to die is better.”
“How did you know about that?” She asked.
She had the habit of plugging her phone in every night, whether it
needed the charge or not.
“It told me. “
“S-so you really can talk with
computers then?” She asked. Her words very nearly got caught in her
throat.
“Yup. Comes in handy, especially these days, when
just about everything is computerized.”
“I bet.” She said weakly. The implications of someone who could talk to
computers like that was staggering.
There was so much he could do without any kind of repercussion, it was a
little scary. “And you’re not like, some
kind of robot, are you?”
“Nope. 100% flesh and blood human.”
“But why use this power for
programming? Why not something else?”
“You mean like instant fame and
fortune or something?” He asked. Mary nodded.
“Meh, I don’t care about that kind of thing. This is much more fun for me anyway. Well, I do mess with some stuff, but not too
much.”
“So the only reason you haven’t
made yourself a multi-millionaire is pure apathy?”
“More or less.”
“Oh.” Mary was hardly reassured. She had to wonder if making programs was
really the only thing he used his power for.
“Anything else you wanted to know?” He asked.
“No, not really.” Her mind was racing with too many questions
to ask. If she actually asked them, they
would have been in that closet for the rest of the day.
“Right.” He said.
He stretched it out quite a bit, clearly not believing her. “Well, in that case, let’s get out of here
before people start spreading rumors.”
“Yeah, ok.” Her voice was still weak, as it was bogged
down by her thoughts. Jeremy opened the
door and held it open for her. She left
the closet, moving on autopilot.
“Oh, one question.” He asked before she could get too far
away. She stopped at looked at him, but
said nothing. “I’ll pick you up Friday
at eight.” He said, and walked away
towards his workstation, leaving Mary to her thoughts as she shambled back to
hers.
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11000101110001010100111001000011101001... What, you mean you can't read binary? Oh well.
Talk to computers? Hmmmmmmm........
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