dandy
\ DAN-dee \ , noun;
1. Informal. something or someone of exceptional or first-rate quality: Your reply was a dandy.
2. a man who is excessively concerned about his clothes and appearance; a fop.
1. characteristic of a dandy; foppish.
2. Informal. fine; excellent; first-rate: a dandy vacation spot.
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“Are
you ready yet?” Jeff asked his roommate through the closed door.
“Just
give me another ten minutes.” Sam said.
“Is
then ten real minutes, or ten of your minutes?” Jeff asked.
“Is
there a difference?”
“Oh
sure there is. Ten real minutes is what
you see on a clock. Your ten minutes
changes every time I ask.”
“That
is just not true.”
“Sure
it is. Like, for example, when I asked
you if you were ready ten minutes ago, you said it would take ten minutes. Now here it is, ten minutes later, and you’re
still not ready.”
“Yeah,
well. You can’t rush good looks you
know.”
“Man, I
swear you take longer to get ready than my girlfriend does.”
“Hey
now, let’s not get too extreme with this.”
“No
really. I mean that. I mean seriously, we’re guys. We’re not supposed to take half an hour on
our hair.”
“First
of all, it’s not just the hair.” Sam
said. “I gotta make sure my outfit is
just right too.”
“That’s
even worse!” Jeff exclaimed. He was sorely tempted to just force the door
open, drag Sam out, and hit him with various blunt objects at that moment.
“Hey
now, you know what they say: The clothes
make the man. Also, you gotta look your
best if you want to impress the ladies.”
“By being
one of them?”
“Low
blow, dude. Low blow.”
“All I’m
saying is, you’re taking as long as a girl to get ready for a party, and for
all the same reasons. You might as well
turn in your man card and get a sex-change operation.”
The
door burst open and a half-dressed Sam opened the door, staring angrily at
Jeff. The guy was dressing in just his
neatly pressed kahki pants. Jeff could
see several different shirt laid out behind him.
“You,
sir, just crossed the line.”
“Yeah,
yeah, yeah. So, Samantha, you gonna put
a shirt on so we can go, or what?”
“Hey
now. Would a girl be built like this?” Sam added in a bid to remove such thoughts
from his roommate’s mind. As he spoke,
he gave a quick flex of his arm, showing the rewards of the hours he spent in
the gym.
“I don’t
know, I mean, there are some pretty buff ladies out there, so…” Jeff said with a smug grin on his face. Sam slumped his shoulders and slammed the
door.
“Just
for that, you’re gonna be late.” Sam
said through the door.
“Oh
come on.” Jeff said.
“Yup. See, unlike you, I don’t have a girlfriend to
meet up with. I can afford to be late.”
Jeff
could say nothing. Since Sam was his
ride, there wasn’t much he could do other than try and reason with the guy. Unfortunately, that was easier said than
done. There were only two things that
really mattered to Sam: His looks, and
girls. At first, Jeff thought of
appealing to his vanity, but that wouldn’t work, since most of the arguments he
could use would be those he used on his girlfriend, which wouldn’t help him
much, given his previous statements.
“If you
take too long, all the really hot girls will have been claimed.” Jeff said tentatively. The door creaked open and Sam’s head slowly
emerged.
“What?”
“Yeah,
you know how it is at these things.
There’s only four, five real quality babes that are single at any given
party that takes place in any reasonably respectable locations such as this
one. And you know those girls are gonna
get picked up real fast. You should
know, you’re usually one of the guys who picks one up.”
“Yeah,
that’s true.” Sam said.
“But,
if you arrive too late, then all that’ll be left are the second stringers. I know how you hate to wind up with a second
stringer, or maybe even a left over.”
Sam
didn’t answer. Jeff could tell the gears
in his overly manicured mind were turning.
Sam popped his head back into the door without bothering to shut it. Jeff smiled, knowing he had won the
round. Sure enough, it took Sam less
than five minutes to emerge, fully dressed, from the room.
“Let’s
go. I’ll have to fix my hair up while we
drive. Oh, by the way, that means you’re
driving.” He said, handing the car keys
to Jeff. Jeff took them, rolling his
eyes as he did.
“Alright,
fine. Let’s just get going.” He said, heading for the door.
“Oh uh,
before I forget, there’s something I have to do.” Sam said.
Jeff groaned and stopped.
Instead
of going back into his room though, Sam went up to Jeff. Before he knew what was happening, Sam
launched a half-hearted punch to his arm.
“Ow!” Jeff shouted, and jumped back and nursed his
arm. “What the hell man?”
“That
was for the Samantha thing.” Sam said, “Now
let’s get out of here.”
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Well, at least there was no asking of whether he looked fat, right? Also, for some reason, I am reminded of this song. I wonder why...
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