Word: scabrous

scabrous

\ SKAB-ruhs \  , adjective;

1. full of difficulties.

2. having a rough surface because of minute points or projections.

3. indecent or scandalous; risqué; obscene: scabrous books.

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“Ok, so is everyone ready to begin?” Jerry asked from behind the thin cardboard screen.  Three of the four others gathered around the round table nodded and said they were.  The last one disagreed though.

                “Not yet, we’re still waiting for one more.  Remember, I told you I invited a new player.”  Said Henry, the dissenter. 

                “You did?  I don’t remember that.”  Chris said.  Most of the others agreed, not having been paying attention during that particular conversation.  It was as much Henry’s fault as it was any other theirs, really.  He had brought it up while they were eating, and so nobody was paying attention to anything other than the slice of pizza currently being stuffed into their mouths.  Henry sighed, but accepted the fact that it was news to the others.

                “Well, I did.  And there’s someone else coming for the game today.  Anyone have any problems with that?”

                “Nah.  We need another player anyway.”  Chris said, readily willing to let another person into the fold. 

                “I don’t, but it does mean I get to be a little ‘creative’ as to how he joins to party.”  Jerry said.  He already had several ideas on how to make his player’s lives difficult while also introducing the newbie.  For him, it was win-win.

                “She.”  Henry said.

                “What?”  Jerry asked in response.

                “She.  The new player’s a girl.” 

                Everyone looked at him with wonder in their eyes.  Girls were foreign territory to the group, and so it was amazing that any of them had managed to talk to one, let alone convince her to join their game.

                “A girl, really?  She hot?”  Isaac said hopefully while fingering his dice in anticipation.  Henry wiggled his hand in a so-so gesture.

                “I don’t like it.”  Jake said between mouthfuls of Chex-Mix.  “Girls shouldn’t play D&D.  It’s scandalous.”

                “It’s not scandalous.”  Chris said.  That was Jake’s new favorite word, and he was trying to apply it to everything, even if it didn’t quite fit.

                “Yeah, really.”  Henry said, “Girls are into all kinds of nerdy stuff these days.“

                “That doesn’t make it any less of a scandal.”  Jake said defiantly.

                “Dude, learn what a word means before using it, ok?”  Jerry said.

                Just then, the door to the brightly lit room burst open and the girl Henry had invited burst in, panting and gasping for breath.  The girl in question was a bit on the short and plump side, with dirty black hair that clearly wasn’t that important to her.  She had a bright green satchel slung over her shoulder that she clung to like her life depended on it.

                “Sorry I’m late.  You didn’t start yet, did you?”  She asked in a panic.

                “No, you’re good.”  Henry said.  “Guys, this is Heather.  Heather, this is Chris, our rogue; Jake, our paladin; Isaac, our wizard; and Jerry, our DM.”

                “Hi.”  She said, looking around at the gathering.  The others all welcomed her to sit down.  Except for Jake, who just huffed that it wasn’t right that she was even there.

                Jerry pulled up a chair for Heather in the nearest open space, which was between Isaac and himself.  She sat down and started rummaging through her satchel.

                “I hope you don’t mind, but I brought all my own stuff.”  She said. The others didn’t mind. From out of the bag she pulled a sheet of paper, a few small plastic figurines, and a dice bag.  She opened the leather bag and let the dice spill out.  The small black objects made a loud clatter as they hit the rough table.  All eyes widened when they saw them.

                “Are those…” Chris began.

                “Obsidian, yeah.”  Heather said proudly.  Chris whistled in appreciation.  The black stone made his blue plastic set look pathetic.

                “Damn girl, you’re hardcore to have a set like that.”  He said.

                “Yeah well, I like them.  Plus, they fit my character.”

                “Er, you already have a character made?”  Jerry asked.

                “Technically no.  At least not for this game.  But I have one that I like to use.  Hold on a sec, let me roll his stats and stuff for this game and you can see for yourself.”

                “Bet it’s a cleric or mage or something.”  Jerry whispered into Henry’s ear as the newcomer rolled her dice for stats.  When she was done, she began to furiously scribble on her character sheet, asking a few questions about what level she should be, and if she could have any items of note. 

                “Done.”  She said proudly after she was finished.  Jerry motioned for her to hand the sheet over to her, which she did gladly.  He looked over what she had done, and then up at her.

                “You’re kidding, right?”  He asked

                “Nope.  Why, what’s the problem?”

                “A Half-Celestial necromancer?  I mean really?  I can’t really accept that.”  The others looked at her oddly as well. 

                “Why not?  All my other DMs did.”

                “Well, other than the obvious alignment problems, it’s just too crazy.”

                “It’s just plain wrong is what it is.” Jake said. 

                “Oh come on!” She exclaimed.  “I always use this character.  Here, look.  I even drew a picture of him.”  She reached into her bag and pulled out a hand drawn image of the character in question.

                The picture showed a man with bright golden skin and large white wings dressed in a black robe.  The man was tall and slender, drawn up in the style of a Japanese pretty-boy.  Heather showed it proudly, eyeing the drawing with a lascivious gleam in her eyes.  “See, pretty hot, right?”  She said after everyone had seen it.

                “I guess if you’re into bishies, it’s nice.”  Henry said, almost regretting telling Heather about the game.

                “There, you see, so there’s no reason to not let me play the character.”  She said, as if the affirmation of her artistic ability made it more reasonable.

                “Look, if you just change the class, then its fine.”  Jerry said.

                “No way, it works.  Ready his back story, you’ll find out why it makes sense.”  She said, taking out another sheet of paper and handing it to Jerry.  He read it and sighed.

                “Well, other than being insanely convoluted, poorly written, and full of grammar errors that a fifth grader wouldn’t make, I guess it kind of does make some kind of weird sense.  I still don’t like it though.”

                “Hold on, let me see it.” Jake said, snatching the paper before anything could be said.  He read it over for a few minutes before slamming it down.  “It’s all kind of scandalous, but I can kind of see it.”

                The others read what was on the paper as well, each in turn.  And each of them agreed it worked with the way she had set up her character’s abilities and personality traits.  So they grudgingly accepted the mismatched character.  Jerry made a mental note to be particularly rough on her though, and make things much more difficult.  He hoped if he killed that character off early, she would be forced to make a more reasonable one that made sense without having to rely on a back story. 

                “Ok, now that everything’s taken care of, we can get started.”  He said after coming up with a few possible plans.  “Is everyone ready?”  He asked.  This time everyone agreed that they were.  “Alright then, let’s play.”

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Ok then, let me first say that these characters are entirely fictional, and any resemblance to any actual people is purely coincidental.  Also, for those of you who don't know what half of the things I said in this story are:  Obsidian dice tend to look something  like this.  Here's a few things about the Half-Celestial race and the Necromancer class.  See if you can find why they aren't compatible from a rules point of view.  Oh, and here's a bishie for good measure.  Have fun!