maudlin
[mawd-lin]
1. tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental:
a maudlin story of a little orphan and her lost dog.
2. foolishly or mawkishly sentimental because of drunkenness.
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Don fiddled with his pen instead of using it for notes. It wasn’t as if he needed to actually write
anything. The professor would just post
everything he needed from the class online anyway, and the rest was in the
textbook. It wasn’t like the professor
would have anything new to add that he hadn’t already read, or would read at a
later date.
Suddenly,
Don’s attention was drawn to the door bursting open. Everyone in the room turned to see who it was
that had caused the disturbance. Don
already knew who the panting, sweaty young man was. His name was Kyle, and Don was almost ashamed
to admit he was one of his friends.
“Mr.
Abrams, so nice of you to join us today.”
Said the professor.
“Sorry,
I’m really sorry.” Kyle said between
long gasps of air. “I got here as fast
as I could.”
“I’m
sure you did.” The professor said
dryly. “And I’m sure you have a reason
why you’re late as well. But, since you’re
here now, why not hand in today’s assignment?”
“Sorry,
but I don’t have it.” Kyle said. Kyle had a sad look in his eyes. Don saw through it immediately.
“Oh? And why not?”
“Well,
it’s my dog, actually.”
“Oh,
don’t tell me your dog ate your homework.”
“No. No way.
He would never do something like that.”
Kyle adopted a serious, almost offended look as he spoke. “It’s just that…” He paused for dramatic effect. “I had to take him to the vet yesterday.”
“Yesterday?”
“Yes,
yesterday. You see, I was in the middle of
doing the assignment, when he came into my room. He was limping like crazy, and I could tell
by the look in his eyes that something was wrong. Well, I dropped everything to take him to the
vet. I mean, he’s one of my oldest, most
loyal friends. What else could I do?”
The entire
class was looking right him. They were
eating up his story, and Kyle probably hadn’t even gotten to the really good
part yet.
“When
we got to the vet, well, it wasn’t good.”
Don’s throat got chocked up as he formed the words carefully. The poor guy has cancer in his right front
paw.”
Don watched as a single tear rolled
down Kyle’s cheek. Several of the girls
in class let out little “aww’s” and
other assorted sad sounds. Don just
rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh.
“I just couldn’t leave him. One look at his face and that was it. It was like he knew. He knew that they’ll probably have to remove
the leg. If they don’t…if they don’t….I’m
sorry, I just can’t say it.” Kyle said,
wiping away a tear as he talked. “I had
to be there for him. You know, to
comfort him and give him a familiar face to be around. He won’t be able to run or anything anymore,
you know? He loved running around an
playing and now…”
“Yes, yes, I see.” The professor said, rubbing his
forehead. “I get it. Just…just go and take a seat.”
“Thank you so much for
understanding. I promise, I’ll make it
up to you.” Kyle said.
He walked through the aisles to an
empty desk next to Don. Several of the
girls looked at him with sad an pitying gazes.
It didn’t take much to think of what Kyle would be doing later on.
“So, what were you really doing
yesterday?” Don whispered.
“Why, what ever o you mean?” Don asked, feigning ignorance. “I told you, I was with my poor, cancer
ridden dog.”
“Uh huh. You’ve never had a dog. You hate dogs.”
“Now now, that’s not true. I love some things about them. For instance, I love the effect they have on
the ladies. Sad dog stories are the best
ways to get into their hearts, you know.”
“And their pants.”
“A happy coincidence, I assure
you. It’s not like it’s my fault that
one leads to another. I merely take
advantage of it.”
“Yeah, right. Is that what you were doing yesterday? Taking advantage of some girl that bought one
of your sappy stories?”
“I wouldn’t say I was taking
advantage of her. It was completely
voluntary on both sides.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it was. Just make sure she doesn’t have a boyfriend
or anything.”
“I know, I know. Now then, why don’t we continue this
conversation elsewhere. I think some
people are starting to notice.”
“Yes, sir, you big dog loving softy
you.”
“Shut up.” Kyle said.
Don tried to do his best to pay
attention to the lesson, but the idea of Kyle’s imaginary cancer dog was just
too funny. He would probably not be
doing much learning for the rest of the day.
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I wonder if anyone would actually fall for something like this? I'm sure some of the more gullible people would. Too bad I'm not skilled at coming up with stories right off the top of my head like this. At least, not if I have to say it out loud. Writing is fine, but not speaking.
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