Monday, April 18, 2016

Word: Pecuniary





pecuniary

[pi-kyoo-nee-er-ee]
adjective
1. of or relating to money:
pecuniary difficulties.
2. consisting of or given or exacted in money or monetary payments:
pecuniary tributes.
3. (of a crime, violation, etc.) involving a money penalty or fine.

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               “Give me your money!”  Shouted the man.  The mugger had jumped out from an ally brandishing a knife. 
                Kevin froze and regarded his attacker critically.  The mugger’s voice and build were all very familiar to him.  Even though the lower half of the man’s face was covered by a worn out bandana, what Kevin could see was also known to him.
                “Jimmy?”  Kevin asked.  The mugger was visibly shaken by the mention of the name.  His attempt at recovery was not very well done.
                “Uh, n-no, no, I-I don’t know anyone by that name.  Now, are you gonna cough up the cash or what?”
                Kevin looked closer.  Even though there was a street light illuminating the otherwise dark street only a few feet away from them, there was no reflection in the blade.  In fact, it was quite dull.  And blunt.  Kevin sighed.
                “Well, Jimmy, since it looks like your knife is made of plastic, no.”
                “Wh-what?  N-no, no it’s real, I swear!  Now give me everything you’ve got!”
                Kevin quickly grabbed the blade of the knife.  Sure enough, it was cheap plastic.  He wrenched it out of the would be mugger’s hands and pulled down the bandana.  Sure enough, it was exactly who he thought it was.
                “Seriously, Jimmy, why did you think this was a good idea?  And why did you think it would work?”
                Jimmy hung his head in shame.
                “I…I didn’t.  It’s just…it’s just that I’m desperate, you know?  I need money bad, Kev.”
                “Shelly?”  Kevin asked.  Jimmy nodded his head.  “Man, you’ve got to dump her.  She’s not worth it.”
                “But…but…”
                “No buts.  She does nothing but bleed you dry.  Seriously, I’ve never seen you so strapped for cash that you would try mugging people.  Uh, you haven’t tried to do this with anyone other than me, have you?”
                “No.  I was only going to try and mug you in the first place.”
                “Good.  Well, not good, but still.”  
                Kevin placed an arm around Jimmy’s shoulders and led his friend away from the ally.  There were no benches around, so they leaned against a nearby building instead.
                “Look, Jimmy,  Shelly’s a gold-digger, no way around it.  You have to dump her.” Kevin said.
                “She’s not a gold-digger.”  Jimmy said defensively.  “She’s only three years younger than me.”
                “Doesn’t matter.”  Kevin said, shaking his head.  “She barely pays attention to you unless you’re giving her something.  She takes every penny you have and gives nothing back.  Whenever you don’t have money, she treats you like dirt.  And sometimes I think she only remembers your name because she has it written down somewhere.  Trust me, she’s a gold-digger.”
                “But…but she’s so hot.”  Jimmy whined.
                “So?  There’s lots of ladies out there that are better looking, and some of them might even like you without having to spend loads of money on them.”
                “But…but…”
                “Let me ask you this:  how is she in bed?”
                Jimmy looked away and rubbed the back of his neck.  Kevin didn’t need any response other than that.  He still got one though.
                “We haven’t actually done, you know, that yet.”
                “I rest my case.”  Kevin said.  “If she was at least giving you some action it might be worth it, depending on how good she is, but this?  This is just sad.  “Just get rid of her.  She’s not worth the poor house.  Dump her, start making money again, then find a real girlfriend that won’t take you for all your worth.”
                “I’ll try, but it’s just so hard.  She just looks at me in that way she does and I…I don’t know what else to do.”
                “Well, we can work on that later.  Come on, let’s go.  I’ll buy you a drink.”
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There's an image floating around the internet.  I think it's from a T-shirt or something.  Personally, I don't agree, but I can see how others would. 

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