circumbendibus
[sur-kuh m-ben-duh-buh s]
1. a roundabout way; circumlocution.
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Ted knew there was something wrong. The moment he checked his phone, he knew what
it was.
“Where
are you going, dad?” He asked.
“What’re you talking about? I’m going to your aunt’s house, of course.” Was
the reply.
“Not according my phone’s map, it’s
not.”
“What’s a phone know about
driving? Nothing, that’s what.” The old
man replied.
“Maybe not about driving, but it sure
knows a lot more about navigating than you do.”
His dad huffed and kept driving,
pulling to a brief stop at a stop sign before moving on.
“How could it?” He asked. “It’s piece of expensive plastic and glass.”
“Yeah, well, this piece of plastic
and glass is telling me you’re taking the longest, most roundabout route there
is.”
“That thing doesn’t know what it’s
talking about. This is the best way to
go.”
“Yeah, no. Phones these days are pretty good, dad. Mine, for instance, has all the latest maps
and road info on it. And trust me, this
is not the best way to go.”
“Really now? Well, I’ve got a map too, right here.” He pointed to his head just before rounding a
corner. “And mine doesn’t run out of
power.”
“That’s debatable.” Ted said under
his breath. If his dad heard the
comment, he did not respond.
“Trust me, son, I’ve been driving
this route since before you were born.
This is the fastest, most direct route there is.”
“Yeah, maybe it was thirty years
ago, but not anymore. The route I have
on my phone’s map shows you can get there in less than half the time. I mean it.
This way takes, what, forty minutes?
Well you can get there in fifteen by using newer, more direct roads.”
“You’re making that up.” The grey
haired man said.
“No way. Trust me dad, this is one of the worst ways
you can go.”
Ted’s dad pulled over in a parking
lot to a now closed store. “Let me see
that.” He said before pulling the phone out of Ted’s hand.
His dad adjusted his glasses and
fiddled with the screen. He occasionally
asked Ted how to move the image or change the size of it or some other detail
about the phone’s use. When he saw the
newer roads that would shave so much time off the commute to his sister’s
house, he grumbled and pushed the phone back into Ted’s hand.
“Thing’s all wrong. There’s no way any of those roads are
there. I bet it’s one of those hacker
kids pulling a fast one on us.”
“Yeah, dad, a hacker. Because they’re really interesting in making
a few fake roads to mess with people like us.”
The old man huffed again and started the car.
Ted knew he was determined to stick
with the roads he knew, even if they were a bit roundabout. The man looked almost hurt as he drove. Ted let him simmer for a bit to cool down
before saying anything.
“Dad, look, I’m sorry. If you want to keep driving this way, that’s
your decision.”
“Damn right it is.”
“Uh huh, but maybe, just maybe, on
the way back I can drive? Let you see
the new roads?”
“I don’t know. I mean, are you even old enough to drive yet?”
Ted felt a twinge of fear. His dad should have had a perfectly clear
mind. There was never any indication
otherwise. Could the old man just be
messing with him? “Dad, I’m 42.”
“No you’re not. You’re 45.
Don’t make things up.” His dad
said with a grin. “And shut up about
that damn phone. If I want to go this
way, that’s what I’m damn well going to do.
And no, you can’t drive on the way home.
If I wanted you to drive me anywhere we’d have taken your car.”
Ted breathed a sigh of relief. It was good to know his dad was still sharp
in that regard. And still had an occasionally
weird sense of humor. Now he just had to
work on getting over the man’s dislike of anything new and he’d be just fine.
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Sometimes it's nice to take a more roundabout way. It let's you see things you otherwise would have. But if you're in a hurry, then the more direct route is probably better. It's all situational.
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