Word: Bon vivant

bon vivant

[ bon vee-vahnt; French bawn vee-vahn ]

noun, plural bons vi·vants [bon vee-vahnts; French bawn vee-vahn] .

a person who lives luxuriously and enjoys good food and drin

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               “Oh man, this spread, this spread is amazing.” Ted said.  He held a heaping plate of food stuffs.  “I just ate cheese and sausage that cost more than I make in a month.”

               “Uh huh.” Leon said dryly.  He was more interested in the people attending the charity gathering than the food.

               “Come on, man, lighten up.  This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for guys like us.  We have to take advantage while we can.”

               “Ted, we came here for a reason.  That reason is not eating.”

               Ted rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah, I know.  Look, just because we’re trying to get a few quotes and sound bites doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun and stuff our faces with the best food money can buy.”

               Ted’s attention was immediately drawn to one of the wandering waitresses.  She held a try of sparkling champagne, and offered the small time reporters glasses with a huge smile on her face.  She stayed to chat a moment before moving on.  Ted watched the very pretty young woman go with rapt attention.

               “She’s totally into me.” He said.

               “No she’s not.”

               “She totally is.  You saw how she was looking at me, right?”
               “Pretty sure she’s acting that way for everyone.  Helps her get tips or something.”  He had no idea how tipping worked at a place like this, but he imagined being young, pretty, and friendly helped get them.  Indeed, as he watched, he saw one of the wealthy attendees slip one of the waitresses some cash.

               “Oh please.  You can think that because you’re blind to the mind of women.”

               “Oh yeah, and you’re an expert?  Remind me again how many times you’ve been dumped?”

               Ted’s grin faltered and he buried himself in his food.  He mumbled some kind of response and waved his hands around.  Leon rolled his eyes, told his partner he would be working the room, and headed off to do his job.

               He found it much harder than he anticipated.  He figured the people here would welcome any good press.  But once they learned he was not from a national news outlet, they ignored him.  He might as well have been invisible to them.

               “Having some problems?”

               The voice came from a waitress who was going above and beyond the rest in her hunt of tips by leaving one extra button undone.  She was carrying an empty tray tucked under her arm, and had an overly confident smirk on her pretty face.

               “Uh, what?” Leon replied.

               “I heard you and your friend.  Well, most of it anyway.  You two are small time reporters, right?”

               “Yeah, so?”

               “So, since you’re small time, you won’t get anywhere with these pigs.”

               “Oh?”
               “These guys are used to luxury.  They live and breath the best.  That means if you aren’t among the top, you won’t be worth their time.  So you either have to lie and tell them you’re part of a big name group, or go to a different source.”

               “Which is you, I take it?”

               “Yeah, but I warn you now, I won’t be giving you some puff piece about a charity thing.”

               Leon looked around at the party goers.  None of them were paying him any attention.  “Okay, you’ve got my attention.  What kind of info do you have?”

               “A lot.  See, unlike most of the staff here, I’m not a one-time hire.  I work for the host full time.  A real regular.  And do you know how he treats me?”

               “How?”

               “See that painting over there?”

               She pointed at a classical painting.  Probably genuine and probably older than some countries. 

               “To these guys, the only difference between me and that painting is that I’ll get them drinks on command.  I’m just a pretty thing that’s there to be looked at from time to time.”

               “That’s horrible.”

               She shrugged.  “That’s life.  I’ve been working here since I was 18, so I’m used to it.  And I’ve learned going unnoticed has its advantages.  Nobody pays attention to me, so they talk, even when I’m around.  Over the years, I’ve learned a lot of things.  I not only know about the skeletons in the closet, I’ve probably cleaned most of them, if you get my meaning.”

               “I think I do, yes.” Leon said.  If she was telling the truth, this could make his career.  There was just one problem. “And what will all this juicy info cost me?  I mean, it’d probably be easier to just blackmail your boss.”

               “Blackmail?  No way.  That’s a great way to get a bullet in my head.  No, this is way better.  And as for what I want?  I want to see his sweat.  I want his to squirm.  He’ll wonder who sold him out.  He’ll be obsessed with it.  He’ll never suspect a lowly serving girl, and that’s the best thing.  Watching him fall apart is all the reward I need.”

“You are a horrible person, aren’t you?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a nice girl, but horrible?  That honor goes to the pigs wallowing in their own luxurious filth.  So, you in?”

Leon only thought about it for a moment.  “Sure.  Let’s find someplace out of the way and we’ll talk.”

Her smile became downright wicked.  “Great.  Meet me outside in half an hour, and we’ll make some pigs squeal.”  

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A bit of advice.  If you ever find yourself becoming fabulously rich, always pay attention to the staff.  Even the lowest of them.  They can learn a lot of things you might not want to be found.