Word: Lilliputian

Lilliputian

[ lil-i-pyoo-shuh n ]

adjective

extremely small; tiny; diminutive.

petty; trivial: Our worries are Lilliputian when compared with those of people whose nations are at war.

noun

an inhabitant of Lilliput.

a very small person.

a person who is narrow or petty in outlook.

 

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               Dave had no idea how he got to where he was.  Oh, he knew the mechanics and the events, but they still confused him to the point that he had no idea what to make of things.  One moment he was with his friends, having fun on some small island, and the next he was in a courtroom surrounded by people that did not even reach his knees.

               Dave and his friends had been ambushed, and tied up by a literal army of the little guys, and was now facing some kind of judge.  What their crime was, he had no idea.

               “Your honor,” Said one of the tiny people in a British accent.  “Our histories tell of an invader named Gulliver.”

               “Wait, Gulliver?” Whispered Kristy, one of the captives.  “Like Gulliver’s Travels?  Isn’t that a really bad movie?”

               “It was a book first, Kris.” Dave whispered.

“This man was of enormous stature,” The Lilliputian lawyer continued, “and could easily destroy our entire nation.  However, our armies were able to drive him off.  And now, centuries later, they have returned for revenge with an army.”

“Six people is an army?” Another member of the group, Ryan, asked quietly.

“To people this small, yeah.” Harriet, the smallest member of the group, said.  “I mean, even I can step on them.”

“Your Honor, you must see these invaders executed.” The lawyer said.  The gallery clapped and cheered.

The last member of the group, Jim, stood up as well as his binds would allow.  “Uh, Your Honor, do we get a lawyer for this trial?”

“No.” The judge said.  “You are foreigners.  You have no rights on our lands, and so you must defend yourselves.”

Dave stood next.  “Okay then, how about this.  We’re not invaders.  We didn’t even know you guys existed.  Seriously, That Gulliver guy you mentioned?  We thought he was fictional.  Hell, I don’t think any of us have even read the book about him.  So yeah, we have no intention of invading or destroying or anything.  If you just let us go, we’ll go back to our boat and never come back.”  All the members of the group smiled and nodded vigorously.

“Lies!” The lawyer cried.  “How can we believe such blatant lies, Your Honor?  They come to our shores with weapons, tools of death and destruction.”

“No we don’t.” Dave said.  “Seriously, what did we have that could even be remotely confused for a weapon?”

“Bring in the tools of death!”

Dozens of Lilliputians pushed a large cart into the courtroom.  On it was the cooking equipment that the group had brought with them.

“That stuff?  None of that’s a weapon.” Ryan said.  “Well, unless you’re a hot dog or something.  Seriously, it’s for cooking.”

“More lies!  These things make great flames that can burn our cities to the ground!”

“Only if everyone here hold really still for like, two, three minutes.  And the grill?  How’s that going to burn anything?  You’d have to literally be standing on it while we lit it, and then even longer for it to heat up.”

“Who do you believe, Your Honor?  These invaders, or a trusted councilman?  It is clear these giants mean us harm.”

“Um, would it help to say that I’m a pacifist?” Harriet said.  “I get squeamish at the sight of my own blood.”

“It’s true, she does.” Dave said.

“We have no proof of any of these claims!” The lawyer said.

“Hey, uh, judge guy?” Kristy said.  “If this lawyer guy wants to talk proof, then he doesn’t have any either.  We just got to shore and unpacked our stuff.  We haven’t done anything to you guys, right?  I mean, if anything, you attacked us.”

“Is this true?” The judge asked.

“Well, I mean, yes, Your Honor, but we were just ensuring the safety of our lands.” The lawyer said.  The tiny man shifted uncomfortably as he spoke.  The judge sighed.

“Very well.  In light of this new evidence, I will release the invaders, on the condition that they immediately leave our island and never return.”

“We agree.” Al of them said together.

“Very well.  Release the prisoners and show them to their vessel.  However, it should be noted that if they cause any amount of death or destruction, accidental or not, this offer will immediately be rescinded, and the prisoners confined to prison for the rest of their days.”

The judge banged his tiny gavel.  Lilliputians ran around, scrambling to carry out the judges orders.  When their binds were cut, the group of five stood carefully and followed their diminutive escorts.

Dave looked to the rest of his friends as they were lead out of the court house. “Guess, uh, guess we’d better be careful where we step, huh?”    

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I've never read Gulliver's Travels, or watched any of the film adaptations.  Never really occured to me to read it or anything.  Maybe someday I will.