poseur
[ poh-zur; French paw-zœr ]
noun
- a person who attempts to impress others by assuming or affecting a manner, degree of elegance, sentiment, etc., other than their true one.
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“So, how many applicants do we have?” Reiner asked.
“Three.” Replied Marah.
“That’s it?”
“Yup. What, did you expect more? We’re not exactly a well known party.” She said, laying out their options.
Reiner slumped onto a chair next to his party member. “I know. But I’d still hoped for something more, you know? I mean, there’s lots of adventurers that are just getting started and should be looking for a party, right?”
The thought was interrupted by the sound of metal. The duo looked up to see a man dressed in very nice plate armor. Almost too nice. Reiner thought it might be decorative, but one could never really be sure. Magic armor could be very elaborate, after all. He had an equally ornate long sword strapped to his hip and a matching shield on his back.
“So, I hear you two are looking for a new party member!” He said in a loud voice. “Well, you’re in luck! For before you stand Sir Leopold of Kellwood! Greatest knight in all the land!”
Reiner leaned in close to Marah. “You ever hear of this guy?”
“Nope. Seems like a big blowhard to me.”
“He one of our applicants?”
“Nope. Those are for a shield warrior, an archer, and a combat alchemist.”
Reiner thought. He was a healer, and Marah was a rogue. So the addition of a good defender would be welcome. But then again, she was definitely right about him seeming to be a big braggart. Well, as long as he had the skills to back up his claims of being “the greatest knight,” Reiner didn’t much care what Leopold said.
“Greatest in the land, huh?” He said. “Guess you must be pretty good with that sword, right?”
“Of course!” The knight said proudly. “I’m among the best swordsmen in the world!”
“So then you wouldn’t mind a little test, right?”
“Of course! I welcome any challenge!”
“Marah, if you would?”
“No problem.”
The slender woman stood and approached the large knight. She cracked her neck and stretched a bit.
“Try and hit me.” She said. “If you can, you’re in. Don’t worry, big guy, I won’t hit back. We go until you either land a hit, or you get too worn out to keep trying.”
“A simple task! Do not worry, fair lady, I won’t hurt you.”
“Oh feel free.” Reiner said. “If you land a hit, I’ll fix her right up.”
Sir Leopold smiled wide and drew his sword. He swung in a large overhead chop. Marah looked confused as she easily dodged. Another attack came, with another effortless evasion by the rogue. Reiner could immediately see the problem. The man was completely inept. Reiner had seen goblins that wielded a sword better. His attacks were slow, big and telegraphed a mile away. At first, the healer thought Leopold was trying to lure Marah into a false sense of security. Get her to lower her guard by feigning ineptitude. But as the minutes wore on, it because obvious that he was just bad.
The fact that he barely lasted five minutes did not hurt that conclusion either. After that time, Leopold fell to one knee, using his sword to keep from falling over. Sweat dripped from his face and he was gasping for every breath.
“I see you are quite nimble.” Sir Leopold said, gasping for breath between each word.
“Well, yeah, I totally am.” Marah said. “But you’re also really slow.”
“I am one of the swiftest blades alive!” He supposed knight said, doing his best to not seem completely exhausted.
“Uh-huh. Sure you are, buddy. Sure you are.” The rogue said, rolling her eyes.
“Hey, uh, Leopold?” Reiner said before an argument could begin.
“Sir Leopold!”
“Right, sir Leopold. Listen, we’ve got some other prospective party members coming in later, and we’d rather give them a shot first. But if any of them don’t make the cut, we’ll be sure to contact you.”
“Ah, very well. I shall be gracious and allow those before me the chance to join your fine group. But if you ever have need of a great knight, do not hesitate to contact me!”
He slowly and wobbly stood. His knees barely held up as he tried to maintain steady step. Other people around them just looked at the man with pity.
“Well, let’s hope the actual applicants aren’t that pathetic.” Marah said as she returned to her seat.
“Yeah. Let’s hope.”
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Hm...pretty sure I've used this kind of setting before, haven't I? The whole adventuring party looking for new recruits thing, I mean. I guess it's just something I like writing?
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