Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Word: bestiary



 

bestiary

\ BES-chee-er-ee, BEES- \  , noun;
1. a collection of moralized fables, especially as written in the Middle Ages, about actual or mythical animals.

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               Martha looked from the screen to the controller.  She had been following her son’s instructions for well over an hour now and she still was having trouble getting the hang of it.  She didn’t know why, it just wasn’t sinking in for her.  She wasn’t technically illiterate.  She understood computers and smart phones just fine.  Better even than some of her coworkers.  But this was just over her head.
               “Ok, so what do I do again?”  She asked.  Charley, her son, groaned in exasperation.
               “I told you, mom, press the ‘start’ button.”
               “Oh, right.  That’s the little one here, right?”
               “Uh huh.”
               Martha pressed the button and watched the result on the screen.  A menu popped up, presenting her with information that she was only starting to understand, if one could call it that.
               “Ok, so what am I doing now?”
               “Go to your bestiary now.”
               “And that is…”  She asked.
               “There, over there on the bottom.”  Charley said, trying to point it out.
               “Oh, yes, I see it now.  Let’s see, I do this, then this, and there we go.”  She said while navigating the small, blinking cursor to the spot.  A list of names popped up.  “Oh, what’s this?”  She asked, looking over the list.
               Most of them she could recognize fairly easily.  Entries like ‘wolf’ and ‘snake’ were fairly self explanatory, but others were not.  Those such as ‘dire rat’ and ‘goblin’ were a bit harder for her to pick out.  Still, she could guess as what the names were.
               “This is your bestiary.  It’s a list of all the monsters and stuff you’ve fought.  It tells you about them.  You know, things like stats and strengths and weaknesses and stuff.  It’s so that you can fight better next time you encounter that kind of enemy.”
               “I see.  That’s a nice little feature.  So then I should be able to find the one that I just beat, right?”
               “Up.  Scroll down, and I’ll tell you when to stop.”
               Martha followed her son’s instructions until he told her to stop.  The cursor ended up on an entry titled ‘flying fish’.  It seemed like it was a good fit for the last enemy she had dealt with at the very least.  The enemy in question had indeed been a fish that didn’t seem to need water.  It had nearly destroyed her, even though it was still early in the game.  Martha called up the info on the enemy.
               “There, there you see!”  Charley shouted, pointing at the screen. 
               “There’s no need to shout, I’m sitting right here.  Now, what exactly am I looking for?”
               “The strengths and weaknesses.  I kept telling you to use lighting, since that’s what these things are weak against.  But you kept on using water, which is why you almost lost.”
               “I see.  But I thought that, since it’s a fish that was out of the water, I just needed to give it some.”  She said.  She was joking, really.  The first time she used a water spell, she had done it out of experimentation.  Every time after that she had used it just to mess with Charley a bit.  She was his mother after all, if she couldn’t annoy him like that, than what was the point?
                “That’s not how the game works.  You have to use things that’ll hurt them, or they won’t go away.”
               “Oh.  Too bad.  Well, I’m sure I’ll do better next time now that I know.  Although, I think it would be nice if that was an option.  You know, try making friends with the monsters instead of fighting them.”
               “Moomm.”  Charley said in frustration. 
               “Oh, I’m just kidding, you know that.  Now, let’s keep going.  How do I get out of this again?”  She asked, doing her best not to smile as her son rolled his eyes and explained it to her once again.
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I'm sure every mother out there knows exactly what it's like to have a child get annoyed with them.  And I'm almost positive they do it on purpose just to get that reaction.  Seriously.  It would explain so much of so many kids childhoods. 

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