neologize
\ nee-OL-uh-jahyz \ , verb;
1. to make or use new words or create new meanings for existing words.
2. to devise or accept new religious doctrines.
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“Did you
know Shakespeare made up a whole bunch of words?” Ted said, not taking his eyes off the
computer screen.
“Huh?” Kevin replied, lowering his book and looking
at his roommate without turning his head.
“Shakespeare. He made up, like, a lot of the words we use
every day. I mean, the guy’s just like, ‘oh
hey, I think I’ll make up a word here.’ And poof, he did.”
“Ok, so
what?”
“So, I’m
thinking I should do the same thing.”
Kevin
sighed and sat up. Ted was buried in the
computer screen, and Kevin could roughly make out it was a Wiki page on The
Bard. The current screen showed a list
of some of the words he was responsible for.
“Why
would you do that?” Kevin asked. It was better to indulge Ted when he got like
that. If somebody didn’t ask about his
ideas, he would just start on dropping hints to be asked. Better to just get it out of the way.
“Because
I have developed a new theory of his success.
It’s because of the words.”
“The
words. The ones he made up?”
“Exactly!” Ted said, wheeling around and pointing in what
he hoped was a dramatic manner.
“Ok, you
lost me. Wait, no, no you didn’t. I mean, you never had me, so yeah.”
“Look,
it’s like this. Shakespeare was writing
in a time when not everyone was real smart, right?”
“It was
more that they lacked education rather than intelligence, but I get the point.”
“Right,
so these average guys go and see one of his plays. They hear these words that they’ve never
heard before. Then they start thinking, ‘oh
hey, this guy uses words I don’t know.
He must be good’. Then they go
and tell more people, who see the plays and have the same reaction. It even works with the educated elite, since they
think that if they haven’t heard these words, then this guy must be even more
educated than them, and therefore better.”
“Uh huh.” Kevin said dully.
“So,
since so many people now have seen the play, it keeps on spreading, and gets
rewritten and performed and all that stuff.
And now, here we are, taking classes on the guy. There’s people who dedicate their entire adult
lives to just one of his plays.”
“No
there isn’t. There are people who
dedicate themselves to the study of all his works, but I’m pretty sure nobody focuses
on just one play.”
“Yeah,
whatever. The point is that it all
started with him making up words.”
“Right, because
I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that the plays are good or
anything like that. No, now that you
explain it like that, I am convinced that his success is due entirely to a few
words.” Kevin said in a dull, monotone
voice. The sarcasm was lost on Ted.
“I know,
right? It’s pretty awesome to think
about. I might have to do something on
this for our next essay assignment.”
“You do
that.” Kevin was sure such a paper would
likely get nothing but pity points from the professor. “And what does any of this have to do with
you making up words?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, right, I did say that, didn’t
I? So, I’m thinking since Shakespeare
could do it, why can’t I? I mean, I
write a few plays with a made up word or two, and the same thing happens now
that happened then. With this method, I’ll
surly be remembered as the next Shakespeare.”
Ted said proudly.
“Uh,
right. Listen, buddy, I hate to break it
to you, but that’s not gonna work.”
Kevin said.
“Why
not? It’s foolproof, I tells ya.”
“In that
only fools will fall for it, yes. Look,
your entire theory hinges on the lack of education of the people in Shakespeare’s
time, right? Well, that’s not gonna fly
here. Today, even a five year old can go
online and look up a word and find out that it doesn’t exist. Then everybody with even half a brain and a
basic education will know you’re trying to copy one of the most well known playwrights
of all time.”
“Uh,
well, I could still make up words and stuff, right?”
“You do
know that very few of the words he used were actually made up on the spot. He mainly just altered existing words and
gave them new forms and stuff.”
“So? He still made some up himself.”
“So,
that happens all the time. Remember when
Google used to be just the name of the website?
Now it’s a verb. It’s pretty much
the same thing he did a lot. “
“Ok, and
what does any of that have to do with my inevitable success.”
“It
means that any idiot can do exactly what you’re thinking of. And trust me, the made up words might have
helped make him more memorable, but it had little to do with the guy’s overall success. Trying to be successful just by making up a
few words and changing others is pretty much a recipe for disaster.”
“Oh come
on!” Ted exclaimed.
“Look,
it doesn’t mean you can’t be a great playwright, it just means you can’t rely
on a single gimmick to do it, especially in this day and age.”
“So what
am I supposed to do then?” Ted asked, crossing his arms.
“Well,
you could try making meaningful, well written plays that people will want to
see. Try starting with that.” Kevin said.
Ted blinked a few times and thought.
“Eh, too
much work. I liked my plan better.” He said, turning back to his computer.
“I’m
sure.” Kevin lay back down and continued
reading. He just hoped Ted wouldn’t be
seized by another flash of ill fated inspiration in the next ten minutes.
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Seriously, the guy made up somewhere around 1,700 words. And many of them we use just about every day. Look it up and see.
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