Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Word: Ferhoodle

 

ferhoodle

[ fer-hood-l ]
 
verb (used with object), fer·hoo·dled, fer·hoo·dling.Chiefly Pennsylvania German Area.
to confuse or mix up: Don't ferhoodle the things in that drawer.

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               The ancient hallway was filled with dust. The tiny particles danced in the electric lights that were carefully strung along the ceiling. Cracked and faded murals lined the walls, telling spotty and incomplete stories about the people who built

the place in ages past. The hall ended in a massive circular door, lined with intricate carvings. Oddly, it had weathered the ages far better than the rest of the temple, and the words carved on its surface were still clearly visible, even if there were few who could read it.

               Two of those few stood in front of it now. Both men regarded the door with a sense of awe, wondering what might be beyond it.

               “Honestly, some of the men were thinking about just knocking it down.” Said the older of the two. “Can you believe that? They have no sense of propriety.”

               “You can hardly blame them. Most of them are American. They see an obstacle, their first thought is to knock it down. I’d say the fact that they haven’t brought out the dynamite already is a sign of their restraint.”

               “Even so. You’d think they’d have more respect for the past. Speaking of, what do you make of it, Charles?”

               “Tricky. Very tricky. I take you’ve tried to solve the riddle?”

               “Several times, yes. It hasn’t worked yet. That’s why we’ve called you in. Hopefully you can see something I haven’t.”

               “Let me see your notes. I’ll see if I can’t find something.”

               The older man presented Charles with a stack of paper. The young expert looked them over, pouring over them and then turning to the door and examining it carefully.

               “Ah, I see the problem. Look here, Vic, you’ve got the translation wrong. You confused these two characters and mixed up these three.” Charles said, pointing to various places on the papers. “Don’t worry, my friend, they’re all very similar looking. It’s all a very easy mistake to make.”

               “What? Let me see that.” Vic took the papers and looked over them carefully. “Why, so I have. I can’t imagine what came over me.”

               “Probably worn out after the long journey. Like I said, the mix up is quite understandable. Anyway, now that we’ve got that out of the way, we can set about actually getting this door open.”

               The two men went to work. With the new translation in place, the actual riddle was made apparent. That did not mean the answer was obvious though. It took almost an hour before Charles finally pieced it together.

               “Why, the door’s been all mixed up. That’s the riddle. See the images? The order’s been all jumbled up.”

               “Charles, do you mean to tell me that this door was closed by one of those computer game puzzles? That can’t be right.”

               “Can you come up with a better explanation? I know it seems wrong, but it’s also the only thing that fits.”

               Vic looked at the door and sighed. “Very well. It irks me that something so important is hidden by something so childish, but if that’s what it takes, let’s see what we can do.”

               The old stone was difficult to move at first, but once it got going, the different parts of the door slid around each other remarkably smoothly. It only took a few minutes to solve the puzzle, especially with both men working together. And soon they heard the sound of stone grinding against stone hidden in the walls. Loud thunks and rumbles shook dust from the walls and floor and whatever mechanism kept the door shut now caused it to open. It moved slowly, rolling away into a hidden recess in the wall. And beyond it was the room that the two men had worked to get into.

               “Come on, Vic. Let’s see if this was all worth it.”

               Charles did not hesitate as he entered the room, with Vic close behind.

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The idea of an ancient civilization hiding stuff behind a video game type puzzle is pretty funny to think about, isn't it? Who knows, maybe they were and all the puzzles have just broken down because of the effects of time. 

Friday, May 12, 2023

Word: Supergiant

 

supergiant

[ soo-per-jahy-uhnt ]
noun
1. Astronomy. supergiant star.
2. an extremely large or powerful person, company, thing, etc.
adjective
3. extremely large; immense.

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A lone, tiny ship popped out of its FTL drive. The crew was silent for a moment. Then a flurry of activity descended upon the corridor.

               “Commander!” The captain called over the activity. “Report. What happened?”

               “Waiting on the report, sir.” The Commander said.

               The reports came fast. Each department was reporting no trouble. As far as anyone was concerned, the ship had simply decided to drop FTL in the middle of nowhere. There were no star systems for lightyears, and there not so much as a piece of space junk to break up the empty void of space. Then one report came back with an oddity.

               “Sir, the grav scan team found something.” The Commander said.

               “Grav scan? What do they have to do with anything? There’s nothing generating any gravity out here except for us.” The Captain said.

               “Yes, sir, I know. But they found something. Something big. A massive gravity well big enough that the ship couldn’t compensate at FTL speeds, so it dropped us out.”

               “Long range scan team, work with the grav scan team and find out where this…whatever it is is located.”

               Once again, the bridge was thrust into action. But this time it was directed, coordinated. The crew fell into known, practiced rhythms as each member did their job. It was not long before Captain had his report. It did indeed seem like a massive object. Almost as big as a small moon. The only problem was that there were no planets nearby.

               “It can’t be a moon.” Captain mused. “A space station?”

               “Out here where there’s no planets to supply from?” Commander asked. “Besides, there aren’t any known stations that big. The cost of building one alone. Nobody has that find of funding.”

               “Do you have any other ideas?”

               There was silence. The very thought was insane, but it was the only explanation. It became even more apparent as the scan team found the object was too regular to be natural, and was made of metal. And soon they even identified it as being hollow.

               “Wait, something’s not right.” One of the scan team members said. “The station is…moving? And I’m picking up some massive energy readings from one side of it. It…it’s not a station. Captain, I think it might be a ship.”

               The bridge was silent. A space station that size was enough of an impossibility, but a ship? Something that size capable of moving under its own power was unthinkable. It would take an entire planet’s worth of energy to get it moving, and there was no way it could reach FTL speeds.

               A comms officer spoke up. “We’re getting a signal from the…whatever it is.”

               “Put it on.” Captain said. He was almost dreading meeting whatever or whoever could build something like that monster.

               When the visual display activated, the being on screen was odd. Its round head sported two eyes set into it, and had short, brown strands of fur or hair on top of it, and nowhere else. It spoke in an unfamiliar language from its single, large mouth.

               “Translation?” Captain called. The reply was given that the ship’s computer and language experts were working on the being’s words. Their efforts soon bore fruit.

               “We are…humanity…” The translator said. “We have come far and in peace. That’s roughly what they said, sir.”

               The Captain let out a heavy breath before replying. “Well, I guess we should reply. Hopefully they really do have peaceful intentions. I would hate to find out what a species insane enough to build that is capable of when angered.”

*************************************

It'd be pretty neat to have a ship like this built. It'll never happen, of course, but it'd be pretty neat to see.

Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Word: Nearlywed

 

nearlywed

[ neer-lee-wed ]

noun
1. a person who lives with another in a life partnership, sometimes engaged with no planned wedding date, sometimes with no intention of ever marrying: We’ve been nearlyweds for eight wonderful years, with our third child on the way.
2. a person whose wedding day is very soon to occur: Just two days from the big event, this is one nearlywed who isn’t feeling a smidgen of cold feet.

*******************************

Ben paced around the hotel room and occasionally glanced at the closet. Inside was a well pressed suit in a suit bag. He would not need it for another three days, but the very sight of it made his heart beat like a drum.

“Oh, stop pacing.” Ben’s dad, Tom, said. “You’ll wear a hole in the carpet, and I’m not paying for that.”

Ben stopped. Once his feet stopped moving, his hands started. His fingers twisted around each other in complicated patterns. Tom sighed, stood and placing his hands on his son’s shoulders.

“There’s no reason to be nervous. Especially not now. Day of, sure. But now? You’ve still got a good three days to relax before the big day. Now have a seat and calm down.”

“I don’t think calming down is an option, Dad.”

“Nonsense. You’ve got nothing to be nervous about. I mean, really, how many rehearsals have you two done?”

“More than everyone else said was needed.” Ben admitted as he let he father guide him to the bed.

“Right. You know your vows inside and out, plus you’ll be able to bring them with you. So you’ll do fine.”

“That’s…that’s not what I’m nervous about.”

Tom’s eyes shifted and narrowed slightly. “You’re not getting cold feet this close to the wedding, are you?”

“No! No, of course not.”

The younger man did not elaborate further. That is, until Tom fixed his Dad Glare on his son. Ben squirmed under the scrutiny. Almost 30 years of life and that look still got under his skin.

“But what if she is?” He finally said. “I mean, really. We all know Nichole can do a lot better than me. So what if she decides to do that? What if she meets someone way better and decides I’m not worth her time anymore?”

“Do you really think she’s that shallow? That she’s the kind of woman to just go off with the first young buck she sees?”

“Well, no…”

“And do you really think she’s the kind of woman to leave you at the alter?”

“Of…of course not. But what if…”

“What if nothing, boy. The two of you’ve been living together for, what, three years now?”

“Four.”

“Right, four years. If she can put up with you that long, then she’s not going to abandon you now. Now, calm down and stop thinking those thoughts. The wedding will go perfectly, I promise. She’ll look amazing. You’ll get a bit tongue tied because of it.”

A small grin crossed Ben’s mouth. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“And the two of you will be your wonderful, goofy selves together.” Tom continued. “Everyone will love it. Tears will be shed over your vows. It’ll be wonderful. So cheer up. There’s no need to be nervous.”

Ben nodded. He looked at his suit.  He still had three days before the wedding. His nerves were not settled yet, but his dad was right. Now he just needed to convince himself of them. And he had three days to do it.

***********************

This is coming from someone who is, unfortunately, eternally single. Maybe someday, but so far, it's not looking too hopeful for my heavily introverted self.