Word: Incontrovertible

 

incontrovertible

[ in-kon-truh-vur-tuh-buhl, in-kon- ]

adjective

1. not controvertible; not open to question or dispute; indisputable:

   absolute and incontrovertible truth.

   Synonyms: unquestionable, undeniable, incontestable

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               Nick could not believe he was having this conversation. It was utterly ridiculous. There was no way a reasonable person could believe such an insane idea. And yet, his roommate, Steve, was arguing for it.

               “Look,” Nick said with a sigh. “It’s not something you can argue with. It’s like trying to say the sky isn’t blue or the grass isn’t green.”

               “I have yet to hear one single piece of evidence that supports the Earth being round.” Steve said firmly.

               Nick wanted to slam his head into something. Maybe a bit of temporary amnesia would make him feel better. As it was, he had to deal with this utter insanity.

               “No, you haven’t heard any evidence you’ll accept. There’s a difference.”

               “If it was valid, I’d accept it.”

               “I doubt that.” There was so much he could say. But it was useless. Steve was determined to die on his incredibly stupid hill, and there was nothing Nick could say to change that. He had tried. Many, many times.

               “Look, all I’m saying is show me water sticking to the outside of a ball spinning at a thousand miles and hour. Just show me that, and then we can really talk.”

               “You want to know what the really sad part about this is? It’s that you don’t know why that’s a stupid argument, and you won’t even accept the reason it’s a stupid argument.”

               “Try me.” Steve said, crossing his arms with complete confidence. Nick sighed. He knew he was going to regret this.

               “First of all, rotational velocity is not measured in miles per hour. It’s measured in revolutions per second. Or minute. Or hour. Or whatever unit of time is relevant to the rotating object. Earth’s linear speed is roughly 1,000 miles and hour, but that translates to one full rotation in slightly less than 24 hours. In other words, once per day. That’s really not that fast. You only think it is because you find big numbers scary.

               “Second of all, the reason we don’t see water sticking to a small ball is the very, very, very big ball directly under us. I won’t say the ‘g’ word, because you’ll immediately poo-poo it, but it’s there and it’s the reason why you won’t see what you think you’d see. I can keep going, but I can tell you’re about to give me a resounding rebuttal.”

               “Pff. Where’d you learn all that, NASA?”

               “School. NASA has nothing to do with it.”

               “That’s what you think. NASA has infiltrated all walks of life, just to perpetuate the globe lie.”

               Nick was once more reminded of Mark Twain’s words on the futility of arguing with stupid people. If he kept going, all he would get out of it is a headache. But if he could just leave one lasting remark that could maybe get through Steve’s thick skull, there might be some hope for the day yet. The problem was actually doing that.

               “Look, it’s obvious you’re too far gone to learn anything. But I’ll leave you with this one thing to think about: what causes the tides on a flat earth?”

               And with that, he left, heading back to his room. He knew that would not do anything. Steve would simply go to other flat earthers and find some excuse that would sound kind of right to the scientifically illiterate. But at the very least, it got Nick out of the argument. And for now, that was good enough.

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Yes, flat earthers really are that dumb. They have routinely been proven wrong, and yet stubbornly refuse to learn anything. It's like they're intellectual black holes.  

Word: Glabrous

 

glabrous

[ gley-bruhs ]

adjective

 Zoology, Botany.

1. having a surface devoid of hair or pubescence.

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                  “Honey, are you okay?” Jill asked.

                  Ryan had still not come out of his room. And he had no intention of doing so. Even his wife couldn’t get him to move. In fact, he had locked himself away in their bedroom, just so he could avoid the inevitable confrontation.

                  “I’ll be fine.” He called. “I’m just…just a bit sick right now. You’d best stay in the spare bedroom for a few days. Don’t worry about me, I’ll fend for myself until I’ve recovered.”

                  It was a flimsy excuse, and he knew it. Jill would never shy away from someone sick. It was why she had become a doctor.

                  “Sick? Sick how? Let me check you out and I’ll see what I can do.” She said, immediately entering Doctor Jill mode. “I should be able to find out what it is and get you the right medicine to help.”

                  “No! No, I…I’ll be fine without that. It’s probably just a cold.”

                  “Just a cold. Just a cold?! Do you know how many people I’ve seen die because they thought they had ‘just a cold’? Open this door right this minute and let me find out what you actually have!”

                  Ryan heard her rattling the doorknob. Then she stopped. He heard her running off and he knew the jig was up. She was getting the skeleton key for the door. He cursed his own lack of imagination. There were so many other excuses he could have used, so why did he use the worst one?

                  A few minutes later, and there was a rattling at the doorknob.

                  “Come on, honey, don’t come in! Please.” Ryan begged.

                  “No can do. I need to make sure you actually have a cold.”

                  The lock clicked open, and the door opened just a moment later. Jill came in, with a stethoscope around her neck. Her eyes were hard and her mouth set into a  firm line. He could tell she even had latex gloves at the ready. She was ready. Then she saw him. Her look changed from one of determination and observation to one of shock and surprise. Then it further changed into one of complete and total amusement. She covered her mouth to suppress the laughter that was threatening her.

                  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.” Ryan said. He crossed his arms in an attempt to look serious.

                  The complete and total lack of hair hurt this attempt.

                  “S-sorry, but…this is…I…” She said, trying her best not to laugh at his plight.

                  “Oh just get it out of your system.”

                  “Okay…Cueball.” And with that, she burst out laughing.

                  Ryan sat on the bed and huffed. He rubbed his completely smooth arms. He had no idea he would miss arm hair, but here he was. And his wife laughing uproariously was not helping his mood.

                  Eventually, she stopped. Tears were welling up in her eyes, but she seemed to have gotten herself mostly under control. Mostly.

                  “Are you finished?”

                  “I think so. For now…Baldy.”

                  He sighed as she started laughing again. He rubbed his forehead, trying not to think about how even his eyebrows were missing. He watched Jill as she struggled to get herself under control enough to actually hold a conversation. He could already tell it was going to take a while.

   ***************************************

   It's a bigger problem than most people know. Well, normal hair loss anyway. I'm not so sure about total body hair loss though.  Is that even a thing?
   

Word: Doppelganger

 

doppelgänger

or Doppelgänger

[ dop-uhl-gang-er; German daw-puhl-geng-er ]

noun

1. a ghostly double or counterpart of a living person.

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               Darren looked at himself. Not in the mirror, or in any other reflective surface. He looked at another him. The two Darrens stood there, looking each other for several seconds before the copy spoke.

               “So, uh, this is really awkward. You weren’t supposed to be awake.”

               Darren, the real one, was not quite sure what to think of that. “Why not?”

               “Would’ve made things a lot easier. Now I’m not really sure what to do.”

               “What were you going to do? And who, what, are you?”

               Clone Darren looked almost ashamed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m a doppelganger. I was going to do all the normal doppelganger stuff. You know, kill you in your sleep and take over your life for various reasons.”

               Darren was not sure what to think about that. He was, oddly enough, remarkably calm about the entire situation. “And you’re not going to do that now?”

               “Nah. I can only do that by getting the drop on you. Right now, you’d fight back and my fighting ability is pretty much nil. Even less than yours.”

               “Ouch. That’s gotta suck.” Considering he had never been in a fight and was not exactly at the pinnacle of physical ability, he could imagine how weak the dopple was. “So, what happen now?”

               “Oh geeze, I don’t actually know. I can’t exactly leave. All the other doppelgangers will have a field day if they find out. I’ll pretty much be a complete outcast.”

               “That sucks. Hey are there a lot of you guys around?”

               “More than you think. I’m not gonna go around ratting out my own kind though.”

               “Fair enough.”

               The two stood there, once again descending into awkward silence. Then Darren got an idea.

               “Hey, how about we make use of this?”

               “How so?”

               “We do the whole twins trade places thing. Do you have my memories and stuff?”

               “Right now, only surface level stuff. Normally I’d get all that by eating you, but there are other ways. Way that, you know, leave you alive an intact.”

               Darren was very glad to hear that. Being eaten was not high on his to-do list. “Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m not thrilled with my job, and would love a day or two off. But my boss isn’t the best person in the world. So, you take my place for a day or two, then we switch back and keep going. Maybe a full week or so for each of us.”

               “Hm, sounds like a raw deal on my end. What do I get out of it?”

               “Room and board, for one. I live alone, so nobody’s going to question why there’s two of me. Also, it’d probably be pretty easy to get a few spare IDs and credit cards and stuff. As long as you don’t go super overboard, we can split the bank account.”

               Dopple-Darren held his chin in thought. “Won’t that drain your money pretty quick?”

               “I have a few ideas for a side hustle that could make bank. I just never had time to actually do any of it. Without having to go into work every day, I could do that.” He was quite confident in his ideas. They may not make him a millionaire, but they’d at least pay the bills. At least if everything worked out. And he’d still have a full-time job to keep things going.

               “Hm. You know, that might actually work.” Dopple-Darren said. “Well, depending on what you’re planning. It’ll be a bit confusing for my kind, but who knows, maybe this’ll lead to a new era in human-doppelganger relations. Let’s do it.”

               “Alright, great. We’ll iron out the details in the morning?” Darren asked.

               “Yeah, sure thing. See ya then.”

               Without even asking where he would be sleeping, Dopple-Darren left real Darren’s bedroom. Most likely headed for the guest bedroom that never actually got used. Darren shrugged and got into bed. He could figure all this out in the morning.

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 I wish something like this would happen. It'd be great. Although I might not know what to do with myself if it ever did.