Word: Hokum

  

hokum

\ HOH-kuhm \  , noun;

1. out-and-out nonsense; bunkum.

2. elements of low comedy introduced into a play, novel, etc., for the laughs they may bring.

3. sentimental matter of an elementary or stereotyped kind introduced into a play or the like.

4. false or irrelevant material introduced into a speech, essay, etc., in order to arouse interest, excitement, or amusement.

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              Adam knocked on the door, trying not to show the fact that his nerves were frayed and worn.  He had everything he needed.  His script was good, and the man he was meeting had already shown an interest.  He knew he had nothing to fear.  Even a rejection at this point wouldn’t be such a bad thing, since it meant h needed to improve the script more.  And yet, it took all his willpower to put on a calm, collected appearance. 

                “Come in.”  Said a thick, heavy voice from the other side of the door.

                Adam entered the office and took the briefest moment to take in his surroundings.  The office wasn’t as nice as he expected.  He had expected rich furniture, expensive artwork and the like.  Although the office was impressive, to be sure, it wasn’t quite as lavish as he had thought it would be from a man who was known for his expensive tastes like George Miller.

“Have a seat.”  Mr. Miller said.  The man pointed to a plush chair in front of the desk.  Adam sat down and got himself ready.  Mr. Miller’s chubby face seemed to bob up and down as the TV executive looked Adam up and down for a moment.  “Let’s see, you’re…Keller, right?”

“Yes, sir.  Adam Keller.”

“Mm Hm, I knew it was something like that.  Now you have a script for me, don’t you?”

“Yes I do.  It’s right here.”  Adam slid the thick bundle of paper across the desk. 

Mr. Miller started reading as soon as he had it.  He went through the pages faster than Adam would’ve thought from someone so large.  He just hoped Mr. Miller wasn’t just skimming.

“Let’s see if I remember.  You’re pitch was interesting enough.  It’s a cop show, right?”

“Yes, sir.  It takes a new spin on the genre by having the main character be a mobster going undercover into the police.  I used the standard NYPD, but that can be changed if you want.”

Mr. Miller stopped reading halfway through the script.  That was fine.  It didn’t mean anything.  Adam knew the whole thing probably wouldn’t be read during the meeting.  In fact, it was a good sign that Mr. Miller had even read anything.  Or at least skimmed it.  It was all Adam could think of to keep himself planted in the chair.  And his skin.

“Yes, it’s certainly a novel concept.  But you’ve already given that pitch, and we’re looking at the script.”

“Yes, sir.  We are.  And, uh, how is it?”

“Well, from what I read, it’s a load of hokum with no real merit to the viewing audience.  Almost nonsensical slapstick humor designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator, and loose, thinly veiled plots that any idiot could see through if they’re even half awake.  It ridiculous, and completely without value.”

“Oh.  So does that mean you won’t buy it?”  Adam asked, crestfallen.  He had worked hard on the script.  He knew rejection was a possibility, but it still hurt.

“Are you kidding?  Haven’t you heard a word I said?  It’s exactly the kind of thing I’m looking for.  It’s perfect for the evening lineup.  Of course, some things will have to be edited and changed to better suit an audience.  You know, add some things that’ll trick them into thinking the show has merit.  It’s doesn’t actually have to, they just have to think it does.  That’s how you get ratings.”

“R-really?  Yeah, I can do that.  No sweat.  I think I even have some ideas.”  Adam said.  Mr. Miller’s words had improved his mood considerably.  In fact, it was no taking all his willpower not to run around the office in joy.

“Excellent.  That’s what I like to hear.  If the rest of your material is like this, I can see this show running for three, maybe even four seasons.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course I do.  You’ve got an eye for what the viewers want, and I expect you to give it to them.”

“I’ll do my best, sir.”

“Naturally.  Now then, we’ll have to meet again with our lawyers to draw up a good contract.  In the mean time, send this to the editing board.  They’ll iron out some of the kinks.  Oh, but don’t worry, it’s your script, and any changes made will have to be run by you.  I always include that in the contract.”  Mr. Miller said, winking at his last statement.

“Yes, sir.  I promise I won’t let you down on this.”  Adam said.  He was already standing and collecting the script.  Mr. Miller made no protest to the act.

“Good.  Now get out of here.  I’ve got work to do.”  Mr. Miller said.  He turned towards the high-end computer on his desk, and just like that the meeting was over.  In fact, it seemed to Adam like the large man had all but forgotten his presence.  That was fine.  Adam was already thinking of ways to improve the script, as well as future episodes.  He walked down the hall of the large network headquarters with his head in the clouds, not caring who stared at him as he went.  

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I cans see a show like this being put on.  In fact, I'm almost surprised it hasn't, really.  I'm almost tempted to give it a try.  Then I remember what kind of writing I specialize in, and anything like a script I write probably won't turn out very well.  Oh well.