Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Word: Albumen




albumen

\ al-BYOO-muhn \  , noun;
1. the white of an egg.
2. Botany . the nutritive matter around the embryo in a seed.


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           “You are a horrible person, you know that, right.”  Jessica said coldly. 
               “How so?”  Jeff asked, taking another bite of his sandwich.
               “That.  What you’re doing now.”
               “Uh, eating?  Last I checked that wasn’t a problem.”
               “It’s what you’re eating.  You are now consuming the unborn child of an innocent chicken topped with the heavily processed milk meant to give a young calf the chance to survive.”
               “Oh, that.”  Jeff rolled his eyes as he swallowed.  He should’ve known.  After all, he had the same conversation with her any time he ate anything that came from an animal. 
               “Oh that, oh that.  Is that really all you can say?  How do you justify eating such a cruel thing?”
               “First of all, it could’ve been worse.  I was going to put a sausage patty on it.  The only reason I didn’t was because you threw them out last week and won’t let me get more.”
               “And I stand by that decision.”  Jessica said.  “But that doesn’t change the fact that you are eating and egg and cheese sandwich now.”
               “True.  But to be fair, I’m only using the white part of the egg.”
               “Oh yeah, like that’s any better.”
               “Well, since that’s the part that doesn’t turn into a chicken, I’d think so.”
               “Is that how you justify eating it?  Really?”
               “Nope.  I justify eating it because I want to eat it.  But anyway, this egg probably wouldn’t have become a chicken no matter what I did with it.”
               “And how do you know?”  Jessica asked indignantly. 
               “Simple.  Most commercial eggs are unfertilized.  That means they won’t hatch no matter what you do to them.”
               “Uh huh.  And where’d you hear that?”
               “Internet.”
               “And that makes it true, does it?  The internet is suddenly the most reliable source in the world, eh?”
               “Oh yeah, like you’re one to talk.  You use the internet all the time for your info.”
               “Yeah, but I use reliable sources.”
               “What makes them any more reliable than the ones I use?”
               “I don’t use Wikipedia for one thing.”
               “Neither do I.  Or if I do, I try and verify it with other places.  So, I’ll ask again, why are your sources more reliable than mine?”
               “Because…because they just are, that’s why.”
               “Uh huh.  You keep thinking that.  In the mean time, I’m gonna finish my sandwich.”  Jeff said.  He opened his mouth wide to take an overly exaggerated bite of his meal.  Jessica looked on in horror as his mouth moved towards the sandwich.
               “Wait!”  She blurted out before his teeth met the English muffin Jeff was using.
               “What now?”  He asked, lowering the sandwich again.
               “J-just because you’re using an egg that won’t hatch doesn’t mean anything.  You can’t deny where the cheese came from, or what it was supposed to be used for.”
               “I guess not.”  Jeff said.  He placed an elbow on the table and held his head.  She seemed desperate to keep him from finishing his lunch.
               “See?  It’s still a cruel thing, depriving a baby calf of its mother’s milk.”
               “First of all, this is American cheese.  I’m not really sure how much actual milk was used in the production of this stuff.  Also, I’m pretty sure the mother cows have enough milk to go around.”
               “Well, how do you know that?  With the way major manufactures treat livestock, it wouldn’t surprise me if a bunch of calves are starved just so you can have that sandwich.”
               “Don’t know.  But somehow I don’t think that’s what happens.  After all, it’s really in the best interest of the companies to keep their animals alive so they don’t run out or have to buy more or anything.  You know, purely from a business standpoint and all.”
               “Ah ha!  You’re just guessing at that, aren’t you?”
               “Well, yeah.  But so are you.”  Jeff said.  Jessica recoiled at the— quite accurate—accusation.   
               “T-that’s not true!”  She shouted quickly. 
               “Uh huh.  Sure.  You keep telling yourself that.”
               “L-look, the point is, it doesn’t matter where they come from, what part you’re using, or anything like that.  Eating anything that comes from an animal is just plain wrong, and I dare you to say otherwise.”
               “Ok.  I say otherwise.”
               “Why?  Why would you say something like that?”
               “Because it exists.  Look, Jess, it’s really quite simple.  Everything that lives gets eaten by something.  Even we get eaten by worms and bugs and stuff after we die.  Animals eat other animals all the time, even those that can survive without it.  Bears and raccoons and stuff eat mean, even though they’re omnivores as well.  So, why should we be barred from doing the natural thing and eating other animals just because a few vegetarians say it’s wrong?” 
               “First of all, I’m vegan, not vegetarian.  Second, animals eat other animals for survival—
               “And we don’t?”
               “What?”
               “We need to eat to survive just like anything else.  We just have different methods of getting our food.  And you’re talking like we’re not animals, which we are.  Trust me Jess, just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean people will stop eating meat, eggs, and cheese.  And I’m going to prove it to you by eating my lunch.”  Jeff said.  He raised the sandwich and took a large bite, chewing it slowly and savoring the taste.  Jessica could do nothing but watch in horror as he swallowed. 
               “You’re horrible!”  She screamed. 
She ran out of the dining room without waiting for a response.  Jeff heard a door slamming behind her.  He just shrugged his shoulders and continued eating.  He knew she wouldn’t stay mad at him for very long, and she would come out soon enough.  After all, she had to eat sometime.
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First of all, I have no problems with either vegetarians and vegans.  Most of them are perfectly reasonable people who have simply made the choice not to eat meat for various reasons.  It's the ones who try and push their ideals  onto others and act like their way is the only right way that I have problems with.  Actually, that goes with just about anything, not just food preference.  That kind of person is just a pain to deal with.

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