Word: Unctuous

unctuous

[ uhngk-choo-uh s ]

adjective

characterized by excessive piousness or moralistic fervor, especially in an affected manner; excessively smooth, suave, or smug.

of the nature of or characteristic of an unguent or ointment; oily; greasy.

having an oily or soapy feel, as certain minerals.

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              Ben did not like his mom’s new boyfriend. At first, he was not sure why. There was just something about the guy that rubbed him the wrong way. Could it be the way he always seemed to be smiling? Or the lame pick-up lines he threw her way? Or maybe the hollow and cheap compliments? The way he thought he was smooth, and suave?

               No, those were all bad, but they were not what really got under Ben’s skin. He had seen so many guys like that at school that they really did not bother him too much. Then it came to him. It was the guy’s hair.

               The guy wore his hair slicked back and meticulously styled. As a guy who also paid close attention to hair, Ben could tell that they guy probably spent at least an hour making sure every strand of hair was in the exact right spot. He probably thought it made him look like James Bond or something. Ben could definitely say that the style did not look like anything any charming spy should wear.

               Plus, it was just so greasy. The guy put enough oil in his hair that Ben swore if he wrung it out, they’d be able to fry a Thanksgiving turkey in what they collected. It was even a little hard to where the hair ended, and the oil began. How anyone could put that much effort into something so horrible defied explanation.

               And it all distilled into the essence of what this man his mother chose to date was like. On the surface, he put in a lot of effort. He acted charming, and enjoyed the company of his mother. But once one really looked at it, they could tell it was just a layer of oil making everything look nice and shiny. Ben could tell he did not really care for his mother.

               He complimented her, but it sounded like words from a dating advice website. The dates the two of them went on sounded like something from “how to score” book. Even the way he interacted with Ben sounded like they came from someone else.

               When Ben saw the two of them looking at each other, he saw very different things. In his mother, Ben saw a woman who wanted to love. Needed to love. And this man was a fine outlet for that need. In her boyfriend, Ben saw a man looking for his next meal. A hunter preying on a lonely widow and her son. He did not care about them beyond what he could get out of them.

               Everything about him, from his manners, to the way he dressed, to his hair, was the same. Charming, engaging, and covered with enough oil and grease to set the ocean on fire. And what was worse was that his mom was falling for the trick. She was being blinded by the slick, shiny disguise he put on. She was falling for the hairdo.

               And Ben knew he needed to end it. 

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Yeah, I got nothing today. Sorry.