Draconian
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King Callus was in his study, reading a play from a popular playwright. It was, of course, about him, singing his praises. Most plays did, but he hardly minded. He looked up when he heard the gentle click of the door opening. His loyal steward, Jerrik, stood, waiting for Callus to acknowledge his presence.
“Yes, Jerrik? What is it?”
“I have the latest reports of the populace, sire.”
Good. It was always important for a rule to know what his people thought of him. Even though he knew he was a perfect ruler that nobody would complain about.”
“Very good. How goes the common man?”
Jerrik looked nervous. He shifted his weight from foot to foot for a moment before answering.
“They view you very poorly, sire.”
“Poorly? What? Surely you must have misheard.”
“I wish I had, sire. They have voiced many complaints about you.”
“Such as?”
“Well, taxes, for one. They are displeased with you taxing them for half of their income.”
“Well that’s just rude. Taxation is a necessity for a kingdom. And why shouldn’t a king enjoy the fruits of his people’s labor? I work quite hard on their behalf, after all.”
“Naturally, sire. But they say it leads to them living in poverty and being unable to live. Especially with a minimum wage that they think is unfairly low.”
“Bah. Two copper a week is more than enough to live off if they’re smart about it. Besides, that’s just the minimum. Everyone knows hard work is rewarded with higher wages. I set very clear guidelines on what gets raises.”
“They think those goals are impossible to achieve, sire.”
“They think working a hundred hours a week is impossible? I’m clearly ruling a bunch of lazy and ungrateful people. Who do they think protects them from bandits and enemies?”
“You do, sire. But speaking of your impeccable protection, they seem to think the armed guards and soldiers on every corner is a bad thing. Especially given that they’re authorized to take lethal action against crime.”
“Well how else are they supposed to enforce the law? A dead criminal is one less lawbreaker. Soon crime will be nonexistent.”
“I understand perfectly, sire. The people, however, do not.”
The king sighed. “What will you tell me next, that they don’t like my state mandated appreciation days?”
He was quite proud of that. Days where the people had off from work, which they would spend singing his praises.
“Sort of. They do like the day off. But not why they get it off. They would rather get it to themselves to rest from what they consider a grueling work schedule.”
“Ungrateful indeed. They clearly don’t know how hard I work. How difficult it is to be king.”
“There’s more, sire. There’s talk of revolt. Some of the peasants are gathering to talk about overthrowing you.”
“Revolt? How could they even consider such a thing? They really are horrid, aren’t they. Fine. Have the guards round up the ring leaders and execute them in a nice public place. Let them know that, although I am a benevolent and tolerant man, I will not shy away from doing what I need to in order to preserve peace.”
“Of course, sire. It shall be done immediately.”
Jerrik bowed and left the room. King Callus sat back in his well stuffed chair and looked out towards the window in the far wall. It was hard being a good king. Especially when the people he governed were so difficult to please.
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I wonder how many villains out there think they're the hero. Or do they go around thinking "yeah, I'm the bad guy, so what?"
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