prevaricate
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Ted replayed the events that had lead to this moment. All of them had seemed so normal. He had gotten his first date in over a year and had met her in a local diner. Nice and casual, perfect for a first date. The woman had introduced herself as Amy, and was everything he could hope for. Gorgeous, fun to talk to, and actually seemed interested in him. For some reason.
Then she had suddenly dragged him behind the counter, pulled a gun out of her purse and started shooting at a bunch of men who had entered the diner. The men had started shooting right back.
Now he was huddled behind a cheap wood and plastic barrier that was doing little to keep himself from getting shot. Amy ducked below it and fished another clip from her purse.
“I’m really sorry about this.” She said as she reloaded. “I was really hoping nothing work related would happen tonight, but you know how it is.”
She spun and shot a man who was trying to get behind the counter. She shot him right between the eyes.
“Not like this, I don’t.” Ted said. His voice was a full octave higher than normal.
“Right, of course not. I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”
“Uh, yeah, I’d say so.”
“Well, might as well ask them now. We’re probably not going to get another chance.”
A bullet pierced the counter less than an inch away from his head. “Now? What about the guys shooting at us?”
“That’s not going to stop for a while. Best get it over with before we get out of here.”
“Okay, well, let’s see, I suppose the obvious one is how much of what you told me was true?”
She ducked back down to reload. “Well, I really was born in Milwaukee.”
“Anything else?”
“Nope.”
It figured. He should have known she was too good to be true.
“Damn it. Running low. Hm, here, take this.”
She held the gun out to him. He blinked. “I…I don’t know how to use a gun.”
“It’s easy.” She pointed to the barrel. “Point this part at the person you want dead.” She pointed to the trigger. “Pull this to make the other person dead. Oh, and uh, you know how in movies the good guy holds the gun with one hand, or sideways or something?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t do that. Two hands. Always two hands.”
Before Ted could say anything else, she vaulted over the counter and rushed at the gunmen. He fumbled with the weapon for a moment before he held it, both hands around the handle in a white knuckle death grip. He slowly poked his head over the counter. Amy was moving like some kind of action heroine. She ducked, spun, and twisted around men, with her fists and feet lashing out like lightning. Men did not go down in one hit like the movies, but each attack clearly hurt.
Ted tried to quiet his jackhammer of a heart and point the pistol at a man who was leveling a much larger gun at Amy. He took a deep breath, pointed the barrel at the man and pulled the trigger. It felt like it would fly out of his hands, and he was very glad he had followed her advice. He was less glad when he saw that he had missed. And that the large gun was now pointed at him.
Then a discarded steak knife hit the gunman in the hand. Ted looked at Amy, who stood among a group of groaning men, breathing hard and sweat dripping down her face.
“Thanks for the distraction.” She said. She acted like this was a normal occurrence for her. “Now, hand me the gun and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Uh…okay.” He held the weapon out and ducked down so he would not see her finish off the men she had beaten.
When she was done, a sudden silence filled the air, broken by the distant sound of police sirens. Amy came around the counter and knelt next to him.
“Okay, here’s the deal. You can either stay here and hope the cops will listen to you. This will probably result in you getting kidnapped by some very unpleasant people, simply because these guys saw you in close proximity to me. Or, you can come with me, get some answers and maybe do something cool.”
“Or get shot in another fire fight.”
“Yeah, or that.”
“What, uh, what’re my chances of survival in either case?”
“About 50-50 either way. With me, I can protect you, but the danger goes up a lot. Without me, no protection, but you probably won’t get shot right away. Beaten and kidnapped, but not shot.”
“And will you tell me what’s going on? Honestly tell me?”
“As much as I can, yes.”
Ted listened to the rapidly approaching sirens. Then at the beautiful woman who had just killed a dozen men single handedly.
“Ah, what the hell. It’s not like I was doing anything interesting with my life.” He said.
“Excellent.” She replied with a wide smile. “Let’s get going.”
Ted got to shaky, unsteady feet and nearly fell. Amy, or whatever her name was, had to help steady him until he was able to stand on his own. Then she led him through the kitchen and out the diner. He just hoped he had not made the worst mistake of his life.
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Yeah, I know this kind of story has been done before, but what else is new? Besides, it's usually the guy that's a secret agent, so that's different.
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