Friday, November 3, 2023

Word: Curmudgeon

 

curmudgeon

[ ker-muhj-uhn ]
noun. a bad-tempered, difficult, cantankerous person

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               Ted watched the kids playing from the front window. They were on the street, and he could not quite tell what they were doing. The group had yet to encroach on his property, but he could tell they were going to. And he would be there, making sure they did not get far.

               “What are you doing?”

               The question nearly made Ted jump out of his skin. He turned to see his wife, Amy, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

               “I’m watching the neighborhood kids. They’re up to something, I can tell. They’re waiting for their chance to do who knows what with my yard, and I’m going to make sure they don’t.”

               Amy peered over his shoulder, watching the youngsters run around.

               “Looks like they’re playing to me. They probably shouldn’t be playing on the road, but that’s about all I can see they’re doing wrong.”

               Ted huffed. “Yeah, well, that’s only right now. I bet they start invading the yard any moment now.”

               Amy slapped him lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t do that, Ted. You’re not old enough to be acting like this.”

               “Like what? A man concerned that his property will be vandalized by a gang? There’s no age limit on that.”

               “A gang? Really? The oldest of them is ten. And that’s not what I mean. Stop acting like a bitter old curmudgeon. You’re not even 50 yet. You don’t get to go screaming at kids to get off your property.”

               Ted turned to look at Amy. She stood there with arms crossed and a look that was equal parts annoyed and amused.

               “That is not what I’m doing, Amy.” He said. “I just want to make sure our house is safe, that’s all.”

               “From what?” She looked out at the playing children. “A foam football?” She continued, seeing one of them throwing said toy.

               “No.” Ted said quickly. “It’s everything we don’t see that worries me.”

               “Ted, step away from the window.”

               “But, Amy—”

               “Now. Stand up, walk away from the window. We’re going to go and sit on the couch and watch something that isn’t the news.”

               Ted stood, but he did not move from his spot. “And what if I don’t want to? What if I want to stay here and make sure those kids stay away?”

               Amy firmed her stance. To Ted, it almost looked like she grew a few inches, even if no such change had happened.

               “Is that really something you want to risk?” She said.

               The two stood their ground and looked at each other for several seconds. Ted’s shoulders slumped.

               “Fine. But if I hear anything hitting the house, there’ll be hell to pay.”

               “I’m sure. Now come on. We’ll watch a dumb comedy or something. No news though. That’s probably what started all this.”

               Amy moved next to her husband and placed an arm on his back, gently guiding him towards the living room. Ted kept glancing back at the front window. Each time, he saw the kids staying on the road. It was only when they could no longer see the window that he seemed to finally give up. Amy sat him down and started the process of calming her far too young curmudgeon down. 

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What? Kids still play outside, stop saying they don't. Just because the form of the games have changed doesn't mean play isn't happening. 

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