cromulent
acceptable or legitimate: People disagree on using the singular “they,” but it's perfectly cromulent as far as I'm concerned.
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“And so, I present to you, my offering for the Princess’s hand!” The warrior shouted.
The large cloth behind him was pulled back, showing a stuffed monster. It was a chimera, and a large one at that. King Joseph ran his fingers though his beard as he considered the monster. The warrior kept going.
“This great beast was laid low by my own hand in single combat! Truly it was a grand battle worthy of many a song, but I shall not give such details here, in front of such esteemed personages. All the bones, meat and organs have been perfectly preserved, held in a magic bag, and are part of my offering.”
The king nodded. It was probably the best offering prepared today, and by all means it should have been more than sufficient. Any noble would be proud to have the blood of a warrior capable of slaying a chimera in their line. Most royals he knew would accept him as well. If things were up to him, and only him, he would certainly have accepted the man’s offering. Unfortunately, given the circumstances, he was not the only person involved.
“Well? He’s certainly a fine warrior.” King Joseph said. “And quite fine to look at as well.”
His daughter, Princess Cecillia, sat slumped in a very un-princess like fashion. Luckily the illusion wards around her kept that from being seen by the court. All they saw was the princess sitting straight and smiling gently.
“He looks insufferable. I bet he spends more time on his hair than on his sword. I wonder if he actually killed that thing. Even if he did, it’s nothing special.”
“Nothing special? A chimera that size would be be able to fend off a group of twenty of our knights.”
“Like I said. Nothing special.”
“Cecillia…” The king said with a warning tone.
“What? It’s true. I can kill something like that unarmed with one hand tied behind my back.”
It irked him that she was right. And her room was decorated with the trophies to show it. King Joseph sighed.
“Then don’t judge him by his martial abilities. Gods know if that’s your main criteria you’ll never get married.”
Cecillia huffed. “Well how else am I supposed to judge them? Not like I can actually talk to them, with all the wards you have around me all the time. Besides, is it so bad to want a husband that I can’t immediately break?”
He sighed. He turned back to the warrior. “Thank you, good sir. Your offering is truly magnificent, and the Princess will surely keep you in her heart. But many more are vying for her hand, and it would not be fair to them if they did not get the chance to present their own offerings.”
The warrior bowed low. He did not complain and simply moved aside for the next suitor. That was certainly another mark in his favor. King Joseph could not believe how many potential suitors had tried to prevent other suitors from coming forth.
“He’s polite.” The king said to his daughter.
“Oh yeah. Because that’s what I’m looking for. A guy who can pretend to be nice to people. I bet he acts completely different when he isn’t talking to nobles that can have him killed for no reason.”
“You could at least pretend to be taking this seriously. I wish I didn’t need to have the wards up, you know.”
“I’ll take it seriously as soon as you start having people who are actually serious about this. No more pretend warriors who care more about looks and position than anything else. Have the mages take down the wards and let them deal with who I am. Hell, let me fight them and see who can handle a woman who can beat them in a fight. That’s someone I’ll consider.”
The king grumbled, but did not say anything. He wondered, not for the first time, what he had done to deserve a daughter like her. He took a deep, steadying breath, and called for the next suitor. Maybe this one would finally be sufficient in her eye.
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It's amazing how language works, isn't it? A word can be made up on the spot and as long ass enough people agree it's a word, it is. I mean, this one got started as a joke on The Simpsons. Sure it's not exactly in common use, but it's a word that people know and understand. And that's pretty cool.
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