nigh
near in space, time, or relation: The time draws nigh.
nearly; almost; (often followed by on or onto): nigh onto twenty years.
near; approaching: Evening is nigh.
short or direct: to take the nighest route.
(of an animal or vehicle) being on the left side: to be astride the nigh horse.
Archaic. parsimonious; stingy.
near.
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“The end is nigh! The end is nigh!”
The moment he heard those words, Pete froze. He turned to look at the doomsayer, holding a large sign with various religious jargon on it, and a sandwich board with various hate messages. The only thing keeping Pete from heading straight for the man was a hand grasping his elbow.
“Don’t do it. It’s not worth it.” Aubry, Pete’s girlfriend, said. She was giving him her best death stare, which was pretty damn good. Enough to dissuade Pete from taking any action.
“Fine, I won’t.” He begrudgingly said.
“Repent sinner!” The doomsayer called. “For the end is nigh, and when it comes all but those who repent shall be spared the pain of eternal hellfire!”
Pete felt his eye twitch. Aubry’s hand tightened on his arm. Her eyes narrowed. “Remember what happened last time you did this?”
“I still say it was totally worth it. I mean, making a guy like that mad enough to punch me? It was beautiful. Besides, this guy doesn’t look like a hitter. Way too skinny.”
“That doesn’t matter. Just ignore him. It’s not like you’ll change his mind about anything.”
“That’s not the point and you know it.”
“Your reasons don’t matter. Just stay with me and let’s move on. We’ll both be a lot happier if you don’t engage with the religious nutjob.”
The doomsayer was shouting out seemingly random Bible verses at people. It was like he was trying to annoy people as much as possible.
“Okay, fine. This one’s obviously ignorant anyway. I mean, come on, those passages are meaningless in context.”
He gave one last look at the doomsayer. Just in time to see a pleasant looking gay couple cross the zealot’s line of sight. Pete froze. Aubry kept going for a few more steps. Then she saw the other couple as well. Her eyes widened.
“Get ‘im before things get really bad.” She said.
Pete rushed forward like a dog let off his leash. He barely even saw Aubry take out her phone.
“Hey.” He said once he was close to the doomsayer. “So, nigh, huh?”
“That’s right! The end is coming!”
“When?”
The doomsayer paused a blinked. “What?”
“When? When’s the end coming? I mean, are we talking a few days? Maybe a year or two?”
“It..it’s coming. When is not for us to know.”
“I don’t know, the time frame seems pretty important. I mean, if we’re supposed to repent of our sins, then knowing how long we have to do that is a pretty big deal.
“You should be repenting of your sins anyway.” The doomsayer said. It was obvious the man was getting confused.
“Oh sure, no doubt. But I kind of want to get all the sinning out of my system, you know? Just get it all out of the way and repent for everything all at once. I’m sure God won’t mind, right? But to do that, I need to know how soon is soon. I mean, soon on a personal scale and soon on, say, a geological time scale are really different.”
“You will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven like that, fool! You must repent now!”
“Yeah, but if I do that I’ll just have to repent more the next time I commit a sin, won’t I. That’s just a hassle. Way more convenient to just get it all done at once, right? So yeah, time frame for the rapture?”
“God’s will is not to be known!”
“Ah. So you don’t know, got it. Well damn. And here I was thinking that, since you seemed so sure of yourself, that you’d have some way of telling the when. Makes me wonder if the end really is, as you say, nigh. And while I’m at it, makes me question if you’re right on any of the other stuff you’ve got on your little board there.”
The doomsayer puffed himself up. It looked like the man was about to commit an act of violence. But he held himself in check.
“You fool! You dare question the word of God? Matthew 10:8 states—”
“Hey, isn’t that one about healing people?” Pete said quickly.
“What?”
“Hang on, let me check.” He pulled out his phone and did a quick search. “Yup. Healing people. It basically says that you should take care of sick people. What was your point bringing that one up again?”
The doomsayer sputtered and his eyes darted around. He made several incoherent sounds that seemed like the start of something, but nothing ever came of any of it.
“Hey. Have you actually read the Bible?” Pete asked. “Because if you haven’t, maybe you shouldn’t be trying to use it to make a point?”
“You…I…It’s clear to me now that you will never be saved by the coming of the Lord! I’m wasting my time trying to spread the message to heathens like you.”
With that, the man stormed off, pushing his way passed anyone nearby, It looked like he even went out of his way to bump into several people. Pete had a wide grin on his face as he watched. He turned to find Aubry not far away, putting her phone away. He joined up with her quickly.
“Well, that was easy. A bit disappointing, actually.” Pete said. “Ah well, maybe the next one will be more of a challenge.”
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Happy 2024 everyone. I'm here celebrating with COVID. Yay. I guess it was only a matter of time before it happened, huh? I mean, it still sucks, but I guess it was inevitable at some point, right?
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