Word:Nice-nellyism

nice-nellyism

or nice-Nel·ly·ism

[nahys-nel-ee-iz-uh m]

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noun

excessive modesty; prudishness.

a euphemism:

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               “Shelly, you ready yet?” Nichole called.

               “Uh, yeah, I’m good.  I still don’t know why you want me to come, but I’m ready.”

               As Nichole’s roommate entered the living area of their campus owned apartment, Nichole huffed.

               “I’m making you come because you need to have a good time.  Get out there, meet some people, you know?”

               “I do just fine, thank you very much.”

               Nichole turned to face her roommate and nearly fell.  “What…what are you wearing?”

               “What?  You said to wear my party clothes, so that’s what I did.”

               “Those are not party clothes.  Those are things my great grandma would wear.”

               Shelly wore a heavy, figure concealing, powder blue blouse and matching skirt that ended just above her ankle.  The thing was so bulky and formless that the only way it would catch anyone’s eye was out of pity.

               “What?  It’s fun.  It’s colorful.  It’s perfect for a party.”

               “Maybe in Amish country.  Besides, you wear the same kind of thing all the time.  The whole point of this thing is to wear short skirts and low cut tops.”

               “Why would I do that?  Besides, this is my short skirt.  It’s a whole inch shorter than normal.”

               Nichole groaned.  This was going to be harder than she thought. 

               “We are going to this party to hook up.  You know, get a guy, have some fun and then never see him again.”

               Shelly’s eyes opened wide and she gasped.  “No!  I would never do that.  That…that’s just not the kind of thing a lady should be doing.”

               Nichole rubbed the bridge of her nose.  “Shelly, what the hell?  You have got to be the single hottest girl on campus.  Why are you acting like we’re still in the Victorian era?  You should have guys tripping over themselves just to get within five feet of you.  And here you are, trying to go to a frat party dressed like a librarian crossed with a school teacher.  And not even the fun kinds.”

               “Both very noble professions, and whose choice of fashion should not be in question.  Also, you’re making me go to this party thing.  I’m simply not interested in frivolous hookups.  That kind of thing should wait until marriage anyway.”

               Nichole said nothing for several seconds.  Her mind was too busy processing what Shelly had just said.  And the fact that she looked so sure of what she was saying made it so much harder for Nichole to properly understand. 

               “Oh my god, you’re serious, aren’t you?  You actually believe in all that bible stuff, don’t you?”

               “Well, I’m not all that religious, but I understand some of the morality.  I didn’t learn it from there though.  My parents and grandparents did.  They always told me a woman’s body is a sacred thing and should be treated as such.  Only the man who you spend your life with should be allowed access to it.”

               “Wow.  Just…just wow.  I can honestly say I’ve never heard anyone who actually thinks like that anymore.  This is just…wow.  You know what, maybe you should stay back.  For some reason, I’m thinking this might not be a good place to get you started on the whole meeting people thing.  Maybe something…gentler.  Like a campus mixer or something.”

               “That does sound much more enjoyable, yes.”

               “Yeah, I’m sure.  Anyway, I’m still going to the party.  You can stay here and do…whatever it is you do.  See ya.”

               “Okay, have fun.  Just not that kind of fun.”

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 Yeah, to be honest, I'm kind of drawing a blank on what else to say right now.  So, you know, have a nice day all that.

Word: Cozen

cozen

[kuhz-uh n]

verb (used with or without object)

to cheat, deceive, or trick.

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               “Four of a kind, boys!” Jack roared in triumph as he slammed the four queens on the table. 

The other players growled as he collected his winnings.  Carl eyed the victor through narrowed eyes. 

“Hang on.” Carl said.  “This isn’t right.  You’ve been winning too much.”

“What’re you saying?” Jack asked.

“Roll up your sleeves.” 

Jack froze.  He knew.  Carl knew.  How?  Jack had been careful.  He had masked his motions so well that nobody should have been able to see anything unusual.  The lack of motion was gathering suspicion.  Jack needed to do something, fast.

“Well what about you then?” He said.

“What?” Carl asked, stunned by the turnaround. 

“How’s about you show us your sleeves?  You’ve been winning just as much as me.”

Carl rolled up his sleeves, showing nothing but his own arms.  Jack swore under his breath.  He had been hoping for a miracle.  Carl just looked smug.

“How about your belt.” Ray said.  The gruff man was looking at something under Carl’s shirt, near the belt.

Carl swallowed a lump in his throat.  This was seen by everyone at the table.

“I’m not the one on trial here.” Carl said quickly.  “Jack’s the one who’s cheating.”

“Apparently, both of you are.” Tom said.  He was eyeing the deck cautiously. 

Jack looked around, all of them were focusing on Jack and Carl a bit too much, in his opinion.  All three of them were acting off.  A lightbulb went off in his head.

“Okay, fine, I admit it.  I’m cheating.” He rolled up his sleeves, revealing the hidden cards.  “Now, let’s all come clean.  Who else is cheating?”

The other four players shifted and looked away.  Carl hesitantly raised his hands.  Then Tom followed suit, followed closely by Ray and Sam. 

“So, we’re all cheating?”

Carl slipped a few aces out of his belt and set them on the table.

“I’ve been dealing from the bottom.” Tom said with a hung head.

“Stacked shuffles.” Ray said.

“I’ve got mirrors around the room, to see your hands.” Sam said.  He sounded almost proud of his elaborate cheating method.  Th rest of them looked for the mirrors, and sure enough, they were there, so that only Sam could see them.

               “So, we’re all dirty cheaters.” Carl said.  “What should we do about it?”

               “How about anyone caught cheating just has to pay an extra five?” Tom said.

               The others looked at each other.  They all heard it.  And all of them were already deep in thought about how to avoid detection.  All of them agreed to the new rule.  Then they all got up and moved to a different table on Sam’s suggestion.  He did not want to be accused of using his mirrors and having to pay that much more.  He already had a backup plan anyway.

               “Okay, so, with the new rule, I bet we can all trust each other to not cheat, right?” Jack asked.  All agreed.  “Great.  Now, who’s dealing?  And make sure to keep it clean.”           

              

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Could've been worse.  At least everything ended without something like this happening.

Word: Behemoth

  

behemoth

[bih-hee-muh th, bee-uh-]

noun

an animal, perhaps the hippopotamus, mentioned in Job 40:15–24.

 

any creature or thing of monstrous size or power:  

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            The ground shook.  The light, quick earthquake did nothing to disrupt the flow of the military base.  Soldiers and support staff alike ran through the cold grey halls as alarms blared.  Some of them stopped to salute one particular man as he walked quickly towards the command center.

                “What’ve we got?” The man, General Williams, said the moment he had reached his destination. 

               “We’re still getting a bead on it, sir, so we can’t say for sure.” One of the technicians said.

               Another rapid quake ran through the base.  Nobody even looked up from their work stations.  The General moved to the table laden with high tech intelligence equipment imbedded into it.  He looked over the data as it was.

               “Great.  Looks like a Leviathan class.” He said bitterly.

               “We’re not sure, yet, sir.” One of the General’s trusted Lieutenants said.  “For all we know it could just be a big mass of Lights.”

               “We should be so lucky.  Whoever’s sending these things hasn’t sent Lights or Heavies ever since they learned we can beat them with enough infantry.  If this is a mass of anything, it would be a mass of Juggernauts at least.”

               “Uh, sir…” A tech said, right before another earthquake took place.  The General swore they were getting stronger each time, but did not say anything.  The quakes were not the problem, the giant monster was.

               “What is it?”

               “I, uh, I don’t think it’s a mass of anything.”

               “So a Leviathan then.  Damn, we’re still recovering from the last one.”

               “No, sir, it’s…it’s not a Leviathan either.”

               “Well then, what is it?”

               “I…I think it’s a Behemoth, sir.” The technician’s skin was the color of fresh snow and his entire body trembled.

               The command center grew quiet.  Every person’s attention was focused on the technician who had spoken.  Not even the next earthquake caused attention to waver.

               “Impossible.” The Lieutenant said.  “Behemoth classes are purely hypothetical.  Leviathans are the biggest there are.”

               “Sorry, sir, but I think their existence has just been proven.  This…this thing is…it’s almost twice as big as a Leviathan class.”

               “Dear god.” General Williams whispered. 

               Several others present whispered among themselves nervously.  A few crossed themselves, while others openly preyed to whatever deity they believed in.  Another earthquake, now noticeably stronger, filled the room.  This time people started taking notice as a horrifying thought crossed every mind.

               “Is it heading this way?” General Williams asked.  He wiped the sweat off his palms, dreading the answer.

               “Yes, sir.”

               “Those…we’re not getting earthquakes, are we?”

               The technician paused and swallowed a lump in his throat.  “No, sir.”

               General Williams fell into the nearest available chair.  He rubbed his stubble covered chin, dreading what was about to happen.

               “Sir?  What should we do?” The Lieutenant asked.

               “There’s only one thing.  Just one thing that might even get a Behemoth’s attention.  And even that’s not certain.”

               “Sir?  Are you sure?”
               “No.  No I am not.  But it’s the only option.  I don’t think even missiles will do anything more than make it itch.  Get me the President immediately and prepare for…for…” He took a deep breath and continued.  “Prepare for nuclear bombardment of the target.”

               “And if they don’t work?” The Lieutenant asked as The General was handed a bright red phone.

               “Then may whatever gods remain have mercy on us all.”

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No, it's not Godzilla or any related monster.  Nor is it one of the monsters from a much more recent movie about giant monsters that come out of an ocean. This is all legally distinct, original stuff that just happens to share certain similarities to more well known intellectual properties.