Word: Picayune

 

picayune

\ pik-ee-YOON, pik-uh- \  , adjective;

1. of little value or account; small; trifling: a picayune amount .

2. petty, carping, or prejudiced: I didn't want to seem picayune by criticizing .

noun:

1. (formerly, in Louisiana, Florida, etc.) a coin equal to half a Spanish real.

2. any small coin, as a five-cent piece.

3. Informal . an insignificant person or thing.

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The thin glass door of the pawn shop opened without a sound to signal the arrival of a customer.  A large, tired looking man behind the counter raised his eyes from the magazine he had been reading to see who had entered his store.  A thin, sweaty man in cheap, bargain bin clothes cautiously approached the counter.

                “What?”  The store owner said gruffly.

                “I-I have some things I’d like to sell.”  The thin man said quickly.

                The owner slowly sat up in his chair and motioned for the customer to present his goods. The thin man reached into his pocket and pulled out a collection of small items:  a coin, a red stone, and a pack of gum.  The owner looked over the motley assortment of items and sighed.  He could tell they were probably worthless without even examining them, but he also knew looks could be deceiving sometimes.  His fat fingers closed on the coin first.

                “I-it’s a coin from 1834.”  Said the customer hopefully.  “I-it should be worth a lot, right?”  The owner examined the coin for a minute before giving his answer.

                “I’ll give you two bucks for it.”

                “What?  No way!  It must be worth a few hundred, easy.”

                “Naw, see, it’s fake.  Not even a good one either.”

                “B-but it says 1834 right on it.”

                “Don’t mean it’s from then, now does it?  It’s way too…nice for being from that time.  Definitely made with modern stuff.  Also, if it was old, it’s be almost unreadable.  There’s a lot of other stuff I could tell you if you want.”

                “N-no, no, I understand.”  The man said sadly.  The owner picked up the stone next and examined it.

                “Twenty-five cents.”

                “Really?  So low?  But isn’t it a ruby?”

                “Really?  You really think that?  It’s a lump of colored glass and you know it.  Ya don’t even need to be an expert to know that.”

                “W-well I was just kind of, you know, hoping?” 

                “Uh huh.  Sure you were.  And let me guess, this gum here’s from the 30’s or something, right?”  The store owner said as he picked up the gum.

                “40’s actually.  See?  It says it right on the label.”

                “Yeah, see, this is a reprint.  Sometimes companies like to remake old labels and stuff.  Makes it seem retro or something like that.  I can’t even buy this one for any price.  You’re better off just eating the stuff.”

                “B-but wouldn’t ii be too hard?”  The man asked. 

“Hard?  I just told you, this stuff was made not too long ago.  See, it says so right here.”  The owner pointed out a place on the label that showed when the gum was made.  It wasn’t even a month old.

“S-so nothing I’ve got is worth anything?”  The customer asked.

“Not a thing.”

“Really?  You’re not just trying to scam me or something, are you?”

“Hey now, I run an honest business here.  I’m not gonna let you accuse me of scamming my customers.”  The owner exclaimed. 

“S-sorry.  I-it’s just that maybe I’ve got some good things here and you’re just trying to get them for a lot less than they’re worth?”

“You don’t like it?  Then take these pieces of junk to someone else and see what they say.  I’m being generous here with this junk, ‘specially that coin.  Anyone else probably’d give you a few pennies and call it a day.”

“O-oh.  Sorry.”  The customer said.  He hung his head in shame and sorrow.  The store owner rolled his eyes.  He had seen this happen more times than he cared to remember.

“Look, if you come back with something that’s actually worth something, then we’ll talk.  Until then, you either take your $2.25, buy something, or leave.  You’re choice.”

                The thin customer hesitated for a moment.  He looked at the trio of items on the counter for a moment.  The store owner could almost hear the gears turning in the man’s head.

                “I’ll take it.”  He said finally. 

He didn’t exactly sound very enthusiastic about it, but the owner didn’t much care about that.  He simply opened the register, pulled out the money and handed it to the man.

“There.  Now, unless there’s something you want to buy…”

“N-no, that’s all.”

“Alright then.  Don’t forget your gum on the way out.”

                The thin man nodded glumly as he picked up the gum.  He shuffled out the door without taking his eyes off the floor.  The owner shook his head and went back to reading the magazine, hoping that the next customer would actually buy something.

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Ok, this may not be my best work, but they can't all be winners, right?  Honestly, I didn't have much of an idea where this was going while I was writing it so I just kind of went along with it.  But I guess that's what one is supposed to do with all stories, more or less.  Meh, whatever.  I'll just have to try and do better next time, won't I?