Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Word: taradiddle

 

taradiddle

\ tar-uh-DID-l \  , noun;
1. Informal . a small lie; fib.
2. Informal . pretentious nonsense.
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The small restaurant was brightly lit with generic music playing in the background.  A handful of people sitting at the tables and booths chatted quietly as the wait staff calmly made their ways around to their respective tables. Christy looked around for anyone that might be her date.  She saw several good looking guys her age that would be worthy candidates. 
                “So, who is it?”  She asked.  “Please tell me it’s that one over there.”  She pointed to a guy sitting by himself who clearly spent quite a bit of time in the gym.
                “Actually, he’s over there.”  Christy’s friend, Megan, said.  She was pointing in a completely different direction.  Christy followed her friend’s finger, and her face immediately dropped.
                “You’re kidding, right?”  Christy asked. 
                The guy in question was not someone Christy would ever want to date.  In fact, she probably wouldn’t even bother talking to him long enough to tell him the time unless there was a good reason to.  He was pathetically skinny, had poorly maintained acne, was most likely shorter than Christy, and wore clothes and glasses that spoke of his lack of interest in his own appearance.
                “Nope.”  Megan said.
                “I thought you said he was a great athlete.  No way he’s on any teams.”
                “Actually, I said that he does a lot of athletic stuff.  Running around and hitting people with foam swords and stuff is athletic you know.  And he is on a team.  It just happens to be the chess team.”
                “Oh, god, he does that stuff?  Megan, there is no way I’m getting anywhere near that…that…that.”  She said waving her hand in the guy’s general direction.
                “Just give him a chance.  You only need to eat a meal with him.  And try to say something, it’s what he’s here for.”
                “No.  No way.  I’m out.  Why’d you even think this was a good idea?  You know I can’t be seen with someone like that.  It’d wreck me.”
                “He’s a friend who wants to learn how to talk to girls on a date.  See, he has this girl he wants to ask out, but he doesn’t know how to deal with a real date.  So, I told him I’d set him up on a practice run.  And hey, who better than you to teach him?”
                “That girl had better not be me.”  Christy said.  She was disgusted by the very idea.
                “Nope.  It’s some girl on the debate team, I think.”  Megan said.  Christy couldn’t tell if Megan was lying or not.  It wasn’t too hard to believe, after all, it was due to Megan’s lies that she was there in the first place.
                “Ok, so he’s a hopeless loser who needs to be taught how to talk.  Why’d you pick me?  There’s lots of other girls in school who’re desperate enough to go through with this.”
                “Because you need this.”  Megan said, pressing a finger into Christy’s shoulder.
                “How’d you figure?”
                “Look, everyone knows you’re not exactly the brightest bulb around.  Well, see him?  He is.  The guy’s got a four oh average every year since the sixth grade.  So just go over there and talk with him.  One dinner and you get a guy on your side who actually knows how to do math.  You need someone like that on your side, and you know it.  Plus, if we spin this the right way, it won’t even be too painful for you.”
                “How?”  Christy asked.  She hated to admit it, but this was sounding like a good idea.
                “Simple.  If people learn about this, then we just say it’s a learning experience for him.  Basically, we tell the truth.  This makes you seem sympathetic and, you know, nicer.  But to your main friends, you were just taking advantage of him so you don’t fail every single class.  They won’t mind because they’re always doing the same thing.  No matter what happens, you’re popularity is intact, or maybe even better than it was.  Get it?”
                “I guess so.”  Christy said.  She mainly understood the plan, but she still hoped she wouldn’t be spotted by anyone else from school, just to be on the safe side.  “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
                “Of course not.”
                “And you do know this’ll probably bomb pretty quick.  Will you stick around in case I need an exit?”
                “Sure, no problem.  I’ll be right over in the corner if you need me.”  Megan said.
                “Great.  Well, wish me luck.”  Christy said as she shook out her hair.  Even a fake date was still a date, and so she had to look her best.  Not that this guy deserved it, but still.
                As she approached the table her ‘date’ was sitting at, she risked a glance behind her to see where Megan would be sitting.  She was just in time to see her friend leaving the restaurant.  Christy could feel her cheeks turning red as she fumed at Megan’s latest act of trickery.  She’d have to get back at her later.  For now, she had a lame guy to humor.    
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Ah, high school.  There are those who say it's the best four years of their lives.  Me?  I've got nothing special about it.  Nothing bad, but nothing really good either.  Pretty unremarkable for me, really. 

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