panjandrum
[pan-jan-druh m]
1. a self-important or pretentious official.
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The error once again popped up on the tiny screen. The same one that had the last three times
Jenny tried running the balding man’s credit card through.
“I-I’m
really sorry, sir, but it’s not working.”
She said.
“What?” The man roared. “What do you mean it’s not working?”
“I’m
sorry, but it’s just not going through.”
“Listen
here, girl, you will make it work, and then you will give me a discount for
this outlandish treatment!”
“I-I’m
really sorry, sir, but I’m not sure—“
“It
doesn’t matter what you think! Do you
have any idea who I am?”
Jenny
was absolutely terrified. She did not,
in fact, know who she was talking to.
But from the way he acted, she should.
Her mind ran through the possibilities.
He wasn’t anyone nationally famous, that was certain. Could he have been a local celebrity? Maybe someone with an important office? She didn’t want to offend the man any more
than she already had. But, then again,
she was just a rookie cashier. She
couldn’t hand out any discounts, no matter who the person was and why it was
demanded.
“I-I’m
sorry, but—“
“Listen
here, young lady, the only things I want to hear coming from your mouth are
yes, sir, and I’m sorry, sir. Do you
even understand how important I am? Why,
I bet I could get you fired if I wanted to!”
Jenny
was in a blind panic. She did not want
to get fired. If she got fired because
of one mistake, her parents would be furious.
Not to mention her brother would never let her live it down.
“I’m
really sorry.” She said.
“That’s
one.” The man growled.
“But I
really can’t give you a discount I’m not
allowed to.”
“Do I
look like I care?” His voice probably reached
the neighboring stores. “I treatment befitting
a man of my position.”
“So,
uh, what position would that be?” The
question was asked by one of Jenny’s coworkers, Josh. He was not exactly an old hat, but he had at
least been working at the store a year, so he knew a lot more about how to
handle bad customers much better than jenny did.
“I’ll
have you know I am an officer of the court.”
“So,
what, like a judge or something?”
“No. In many ways I’m even more important than the
judge. I am the County Court Clerk.” The
man puffed out his chest with pride at the title. Jenny was dumbfounded. It was no wonder she hadn’t heard of him.
“So you’re
the guy who takes the money from traffic tickets, right?” Josh asked.
“That
is only one aspect of my job. I am the
one responsible for organizing the entire court docket. Without me, there would be no court in
session in the entire county. No court,
no justice. That is makes me far more
important than any judge.”
“Huh.” Josh said.
“If you’re so important then I wonder why my Uncle Benny hasn’t
mentioned you.”
“I don’t
care about your uncle. I care that you
treat me with the respect I deserve, and get me my discount for compensation
for her mistakes.”
“Well,
first of all, she’s not allowed to give discounts. Before you ask, neither am I. Only our boss can do that. And for the screw up, let me take a look.”
Josh
went over and ran the clerk’s card again. Just as before, the same error came
up. Josh looked at the card for a moment
after seeing the message.
“Yeah,
hate to say it, but it’s not her fault.
It’s the card. It’s—“
“I don’t
care what excuse you have. It’s your
fault, not mine, and therefore I demand a discounted price. For someone like me, that’s hardly unreasonable. Now, if you can’t get me what I want, then go
get someone who can.”
“I
really doubt our boss our boss will give a discount for giving us an expired
credit card. Also, just so you know,
remember my Uncle Benny? He’s the county
judge.”
“What?” The man asked, encompassing both of Josh’s
statements with one question.
“Oh
yeah, my uncle’s the Honorable Judge Benjamin Samson. You probably know him. But he’s never mentioned you once.” The man looked visibly flustered by that
revelation. “Now, as for your card, it
expired last month, so yeah, it’s no good any more. You have to get a new one. So you either give the young lady here a
different card, or try cash or something.”
The man
grumbled but gave Jenny a new credit card.
She made sure this one was valid before running it. The newer card went through without a
problem.
“So,
your uncle is really a judge?” Jenny
asked when the clerk had left with his items.
“Oh
yeah, sure. Although, I was lying about
Uncle Benny never mentioning that guy.
He really hate the big blowhard.”
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There's lots of stories like this on the internet. Seriously, people like this are everywhere and it suck for the people behind the counter. If you're one of these people, you really need to chill out. Just take a deep breath and think if what's going in is really worth getting upset over.
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