Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Word: Ufology.


ufology

[yoo-fol-uh-jee]
noun
1. the study of unidentified flying objects.
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Dan hesitated before entering the room.  He had heard the group was a bit eccentric, which would make them tricky to interview.  But, then again, the person he had talked to seemed normal enough on the phone.  He pulled himself together, checked his recording equipment, and entered the room.
He was greeted by a small number of people.  There were only seven of them, and his presence immediately caused all of them to look up from what they were doing.  The room itself was fairly normal.  A campus clubroom with various papers littering the table, and a large telescope set up near a window.
“Uh, hi.  I’m Dan Klein from the campus paper.” He said.
One of the people stepped forward hastily.  “Yes, yes, yes.  Very good.  Sorry for not getting ready, I didn’t think you would actually show up.” THe man was short and thin with heavy glasses.  “I’m Hank, the president of the ufology club.”
    He was the one Dan had spoken to to arrange the interview.  Somehow his voice did not seem to match his body.  Dan said nothing about this and instead discussed the interview briefly.  THe other members of the club left the room, leaving Dan and Hank alone.  Dan set up his recording equipment and and started the interview.
“So, tell me who you are and what this place is.” He started.
“My name is Hank Green, and I’m the president of the ufology club.”
“What does this club of yours do?”
“Well, it’s just like the name implies.  We study UFOs.”
Dan paused for a split second to take that in.  “So, you look for aliens?”
An annoyed look flashed across Hank’s face for a brief moment.  “No, no we do not.  We study UFOs, not aliens.”
“What’s the difference?  I mean, If you’re looking for UFOs--”
“We don’t look for them, we study them.  Now, I suppose the search is part of that, but not the entirety.  Now, I suppose I can see your confusion.  When most people think of UFOs, they think of flying saucers and other science fiction things.  But that’s not the case at all.  UFO stands of Unidentified Flying Object.  That is a very broad definition.  Much more so than most people think.  You see, a UFO can be anything that’s flying that hasn’t been identified yet.  Now, that could be something artificial, but not necessarily.  New comets, asteroids, meteors and other such things all count as UFOs.”
“So you’re more like astronomers than anything else?”
“I suppose so, albeit a very specific branch of astronomy.  We don’t study things that people already know about.  There are already a lot of people who do that.  No, we seek the discovery.  We seek out new ways of discovering things in the depth of space, and then find out new things about them.”
“And have you discovered any natural UFOs?”
“Oh yes, several.  One of our members found an undiscovered large asteroid that’s half the size of the moon just last week.  We’ve been examining that quite closely.”
“And do you notice any artificial UFOs?”
“Not yet, no.”
“I see.  Now, I noticed that your club doesn’t have very many members.  Why do you think that is?”
Hank sighed.  A distant look came to his glasses covered face.  “Most people just don’t understand.” He said sadly.  “They see UFOs and think we’re trying to be the next SETI.  They simply don’t see the thrill of discovery.  Of invention and innovation.  People simply don’t understand what we’re doing and so they ignore us.  It is an unfortunate reality that we live in.”
“And you’re looking to fix that, right?”
“Of course.  It’s the purpose of this interview.”
“Okay then.  Tell me more about your club.”   
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I guess there's a study for everything, isn't there?  

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