Word: Attractancy

  

attractancy

[uh-trak-tuh n-see]

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noun

the capacity, especially of a pheremone, to attract.

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            The computer was flipped on and its user opened the programs needed for recording.  The screen showed the face of the user, a young man that was just a bit too thin and pale to be appealing to most women.  He adjusted his glasses and looked at the image presented to him.

               “This is test number four, formula 5-A and 5-B.” The man, Phil, intoned.  “As with previous trials, we have a number of pairings of different types, and one will have the formula applied to them, determined by gender.  The results will be stated here.  This is Philip Dunford, and my partner, Elizabeth Collins recording.”

               Phil moved aside and showed the young woman he mentioned.  She was taller than Phil, but just as skinny.  Her bland features looked on nervously and she gave a small smile.

               “Phil, are you sure we should be doing this?  I mean, human trials so soon?  We’re just grad students you know.”

               “Liz, we’ve been over this.  The formulas aren’t dangerous, and all the subjects are volunteers.  Besides, the very nature of what we’re doing means we can’t use animal trials.  It literally has to be humans.”

               Liz groaned, but nodded.  The view of the camera changed to a mostly empty room.  It was divided in half, with a door on each side, and a screen on one of them.  Inside were two people.  One was a young man; short and chubby.  On the other side was a young woman who could very easily be mistaken for a model or actress. 

               The blonde woman looked almost bored as she stood there, waiting for something to happen on the screen next to her.  The man looked nervous, and wiped his forehead often.  Phil greeted the two of them, both for the recording and for their own benefit.  He turned on the screen, which showed a picture of the male volunteer.  The woman scrunched her nose and looked away.

               “Subject A,” Phil said.  “What do you think of the image you see?”

               “Okay, first of all, I have a name.” The woman said. 

               “I know, but it’s for scientific objectivity.  I won’t be using any real names here, nor should you state it at any point during the test.”

               “Whatever.  So, yeah, this guy?  Ugh.  He’s short, fat and ugly.  I wouldn’t go near this guy if you paid me.”

               With a few button presses, a small compartment opened on the man’s side of the room, containing a small vial of pale pink liquid.  He was instructed to apply a small amount of it to his skin.  Once that was done, the partition slid into the far wall. 

               When their eyes met, a fleeting look of revulsion crossed her face, only to be replaced by wide eyed awe.  She bit her lower lip and wrung her hands.

               “Hi.” She said lightly.

               “Uh, hi?” The man replied.

               “So, um, I guess we can’t really introduce ourselves here, right?  But, uh, it’s nice to meet you.”

               “You too, I guess.”

               “Say, is it, uh, is it hot in here?” The woman asked while fiddling with her clothes.  “I think it’s a bit too warm in here.  Maybe you and I should leave and get someplace cooler.”

               Without waiting for a response, she grabbed the man and headed out the door at a brisk pace.

               “Formula 5-A is a success.” Phil said.

               “Maybe a bit too much.” Liz said as the room reset.  “Seriously, I know these are supposed to be super charged pheromones, but maybe dial it back a little bit for the next batch?  I swear, she was about to rip her clothes off right there.”

               “Maybe, but she didn’t.  Bring in the next subjects.”

               This time, the screen side of the room was occupied by a man who could be used as the basis for a Greek statue.  The other was a small, mousy woman who looked like she would prefer to be at home reading.  The introduction was given, and the screen turned on.

               “Her?” The new male subject said when asked about the image presented.  “Not interested.  I mean, she doesn’t even have any—

               “That’s perfectly fine, Subject C.” Liz said quickly.  Phil looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but did not interrupt.

               This time, the vial was a pale indigo, and the small woman applied it just as the previous tester had.  When the partition moved away, the man looked her up and down and smiled.  He immediately went up to her and began openly hitting on her.  The poor girl looked more confused than anything, and she answered mostly in squeaks and whines.  She narrowly avoided being dragged out of the room by the man, and darted out of the door she had come in.  The man looked disappointed for a moment before the effects of the pheromones dissipated, at which point he simply looked confused.

               “Formula 5-B is a success.  Any problems, Liz?”

               “I’m just glad he showed a bit of restraint there.  That could’ve gotten ugly if he hadn’t.”   

               As the room reset for another trial, this time with two men, Liz suddenly got a worried look on her face.

               “Say, Phil, you weren’t planning on using this stuff on yourself, were you?”

               “What?”

               “Well, I mean, it obviously works a bit too well in my opinion.  If you used it, you wouldn’t have any problems getting a girlfriend.”

               “The effects are short term.  It’d be fine for a quick one night stand, but not a relationship.”

               “Oh.”

               He looked nervous as he spoke again.  “Besides, I actually have a girl I’d like to be my girlfriend, and I’d rather not risk using artificial means to ask her out.”

               “Oh?  Who is it?” Liz asked, not being able to help but get interested.

               “Not important right now.  Let’s continue the trials.”

               Liz nodded, but mentally stored the conversation for later.  Several more trials were conducted with a range of different subjects of both genders in a variety of combinations.  It took several hours to get through them all, but they did.  Once they finished, Phil closed the recording and flopped into his seat.

               “Well, that took awhile.”

               “Agreed.” Liz said tiredly. She looked like she was ready to collapse at any moment.

               “I’m exhausted.  You want to get a cup of coffee or something?”

               “What?  Oh, yeah, sure, I guess.”

               Phil nodded and stood, heading out of the lab’s control room.  Liz followed and a sudden realization hit her.  She had just figured out who Phil had been talking about.

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Happy Single's Awareness Day everyone!  I hope you have a...what, you mean today isn't Single's Awareness Day?  Valentine's Day?  Who celebrates that? Most people, really?  Oh, okay, fine.  Happy Valentines Day everyone!  I hope you all have a wonderful time!  And try not to eat too much chocolate, okay?