diffident
[dif-i-duhnt]
adjective
lacking
confidence
in
one's
own
ability,
worth,
or
fitness;
timid;
shy.
restrained
or
reserved
in
manner,
conduct,
etc.
Archaic
. distrustful.
*************************************
“Guys, I
don’t think I can do this.” Josh said as he poked his head out just enough to
see the audience.
“Oh, don’t
give us that. You’ll do fine.” Ben
replied.
“No, I
can’t. There’s no way I’m good enough. They’ll see I suck, and then I’ll get laughed
at and nobody will want anything to do with me and—”
“Okay, I’m
going to stop you right there.” Chris said, placing a hand on Josh’s
shoulder. “Josh, buddy, you’ll do
fine. You’ve been practicing for months
now, just for this day. You do not suck.”
“Yes, I
do. I know. I’ve listened to myself on a recording, and
it’s terrible.”
Ben and
Chris looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes. Josh was a great guy, but it could be hard to
be friends with him at times like these.
They just needed a way to make him forget about his nerves.
“How
about this.” Ben said. “If you go out
there, I’ll have Nichole set you up with one of her friends.”
“Why not
just set him up with Nichole?” Chris asked.
This earned him a punch in the arm
for daring to suggest such a thing. Ben
liked Josh just fine, but not enough for a sister date. Having said sister set Josh up with one of
her very attractive friends, on the other hand, was just fine. And it was an idea that Josh was considering.
His face turned light red as e
thought about it. “Can…can she get me a
date with Sally?”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Good choice, by the way.” Chris
said. “Course, hard to have a bad choice
with that group.”
Another quick jab to his arm kept
any further comments from being formed.
Josh looked like he was about ready to go out, but he froze.
“What…what if she hates me?” He
asked.
“Who, Sally?” Ben asked. Josh nodded.
“Well, that’s a risk all guys take when they date a girl. At least you have the advantage of knowing
something about Sally going in, and you don’t even have to cyber-stalk her
first.”
This did not seem to comfort Josh much,
if at all.
“But, what if—”
“No.” Chris said sharply. “Don’t go down that road, man. Just don’t.
You just need to have more confidence in yourself.”
“Confidence in what? I don’t have any skills, I’m not good
looking, I’m just…just…well, you know.”
“Okay, I have to know why you think
that about yourself.” Ben asked. “I
mean, I’m pretty sure nobody thinks that kind of stuff about you.”
“Probably because nobody thinks
about me.”
“Oh, that’s not it at all, trust
me. Now just get out there, do your thing
like you practiced, and then I’ll see about that date. And don’t worry so much, you’ll do fine. They’ll all love you.”
“Plus, you might not even need
Nichole and Ben to get you a lady friend once this is all over with.” Chris
said. He slapped Josh lightly on the
back, pushing him further towards the curtain.
“Now get out there and wow them.”
“Okay, okay.” Josh said.
His breathing was fast and heavy, and he felt a cold sweat start to form
on his back. “I’ll go, but don’t be surprised
if I suck and everyone hates me.”
Before either of the other two
could say a word, Josh strode out onto the stage, using quick steps to hide his
nerves. He looked out onto the audience,
took a deep breath, and began.
****************************************
I used to act when I was a kid. And by act, I mean I was in a few community plays for a little while. It was mainly minor rolls, nothing noteworthy. I grew out of it pretty quickly though. Now I'd probably freeze up the moment I got out on stage. I...I don't like big crowds. I just don't.
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