Word: Alacrity

alacrity

[uh-lak-ri-tee]

noun

cheerful readiness, promptness, or willingness: We accepted the invitation with alacrity.

liveliness; briskness.

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              Sam and Mark stood near the water cooler and watched the new hire, Rachel, go about her job.  The young woman moved quickly and with a smile constantly plastered to her face.

               “How do you think she does it?” Sam asked, watching her dash around the halls with papers held under both her arms.

               “Do what?” Mark replied.

               “Smile like that.  It’s like she actually enjoys working here.”

               “So?”

               “So nobody likes working here.  Everyone here just does it for the paycheck.  And yet, here she is, smiling and running around.”

               Mark shrugged and took a sip of the small paper cup of water.  A few other coworkers trudged through the halls with far less enthusiasm than Rachel had shown.  All of them wore dull, vacant looks on their faces.

               “See?  See those guys?  They get it.” Sam said.  “Honestly, I’d say she’s making the rest of us look bad, but I don’t think our bosses care all that much.”

               “Meh.  It’s fine, even if she does start making us look bad.”  Mark said.  “She’s the office brown noser, you know.”

               “You say that like it’s a good thing.” Sam gulped down his cup and immediately refilled it.

               “It is.  Look, every office needs a good brown noser.  It’s vital for a stable, productive office.”

               “Explain.”

               “A good brown noser will do anything to make the boss happy.  They’ll do the jobs nobody else wants to, finish all the projects nobody else cares about, and just generally get the work done.  And they’ll do it quickly and with a smile on their face.  Eventually, the boss will catch on and start trying to get everyone else to do the same thing.  They won’t, of course.  That’s impossible.  But a few people might actually try and work a bit harder, if only to keep themselves out of hot water.  I’d say after a few weeks of Rachel being here, overall office productivity will go up.”

               “Huh.  Why do they do it though?”

               “Do you really need to ask?  It’s in the name.  They do it to suck up to the boss with the hopes of moving up on the corporate ladder.  It’s not that she cares about the job, she just has to act like she does.  Eventually, she’ll get promoted because of all this, and the cycle will continue.”

               Rachel dashed by, almost bumping into a group of slower employees. 

               “Think so?”

               “Oh yeah, definitely.  I’ve seen it happen before.  Hell, I was once an office brown noser when I was younger.  Got me pretty far, then the company went bankrupt and I just couldn’t muster up the energy to do it all again.”

               “Huh.  Maybe I should try being a brown noser.  Can’t be that hard.  Just smile and run around.”

               “Nah.  That’s a terrible idea.”

               “Why?”
               “One brown noser is good.  It ups production all around.  Two is manageable, but barely.  Any more than that, and everything starts collapsing.  Thing is, one can be ignored most of the time. Get another one, and people start thinking they’ll do better if they imitate the brown noser, and that can only lead to chaos.”

               “Huh.”

               “It’s why my last job went under.  Too many brown nosers.  There wasn’t enough work for them all to do their thing properly.  They all tried to one up the others, and things spiraled out of control real fast.  Trust me, stick with what you know.  Leave the sucking up to the new girl and everything’ll be fine.”

               Sam shrugged and nodded.  He did not care enough to try and act so cheerful and energetic anyway.  He polished off his glass and turned to the clock.

               “Right, well, breaks over.  See you later.”

               Mark nodded and headed back to work.  After all, they still had to do their jobs, whether they liked them or not.

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Let it be known that I am not the office suck up.  Never have been, and probably never will be.  I just haven't really cared all that much about any of the jobs I've had.  I know it's bad of me to say, but it's the truth.