Word: Degringolade

dégringolade

[ dey-gran-gaw-lad; English dey-grang-guh-lahd ]

noun, plural dé·grin·go·lades [dey-gran-gaw-lad; English dey-grang-guh-lahdz] .

French. a quick deterioration or breakdown, as of a situation or circumstance.

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               Everything was perfect.  All possibilities were accounted for.  Nothing could have gone wrong.  Which is, of course, why everything did go wrong.

               When the aliens showed up on Earth, we had plenty of warning.  Unlike what happens in most Hollywood movies, the extraterrestrial ship showed up on our telescopes months before the ships arrived.  Radio transmissions were sent out, containing the basics of our three most common languages: English, Spanish, and Chinese.  The soon to be visitors did the same, sending basic lessons of their language.  Thanks to this, we knew they were willing to be diplomatic and civil in their visit to our planet.

               The entire world jumped into action.  Delegates from every country in the world made plans for the aliens.  Things to do, places to see.  Every step was carefully planned out so that our guests would see humanity in the best possible way.

               And for almost two weeks, it was good.  Nothing went wrong.  The alien delegation was suitably entertained, and had no problem eating our food.  In fact, they were particularly fond of dark chocolate, saying it was highly nutritious for them.  And just like that, we knew what our prime export on the galactic market would be. 

               And then Murphy and his law came calling.  Nobody remembers what city it was in, or even what country.  Hell, the continent is a mystery these days.  All we know is that it happened because of a pigeon.  A common, everyday grey pigeon.  That was what caused everything to collapse. 

               While the aliens were being shown the sites of one of the big cities, the bird took flight, and then did what all pigeons do.  It pooped.  A chunky white blood of bird feces landed on the head of the alien’s leader.  This was bad.  It got worse when the human guides tried to play it off for laughs and wipe it off.

               See, the aliens obviously not told us everything about their culture.  That would be crazy, right?  Well, it turns out that the act of cleaning another is one of the biggest insults there is.  It’s like speaking baby talk to an adult, but ten times worse.  Needless to say, our guests were not pleased. 

               And from there, everything spiraled out of control.  Every attempt we made to placate them ended up making things worse.  It was either an insult to them, or else came off as pandering and insincere.  It was not long before they left.

               They went back to their home planet, leaving us to wonder if we had blown our chance at a good relationship with the larger galactic society.  Our question was answered five years later.  The aliens came back.  But this time, they were not here to be civil.  There were a lot more of them, and these ships were not built for politics.

               And well, you know the rest.  It was a massacre.  The only reason we’re still alive is because the aliens need the manpower to work the various farms and factories that have take over the planet.  An that, my young friend, is how a pigeon caused the fall of humanity.

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Living in a big city must suck if, for no other reason, you have to deal with pigeons all day.  Like, all the time if you're outside, there will be pigeons.  Must get annoying.  Unless the pigeons act like these guys.  Then that must be pretty cool.