Word: obsolescence

obsolescence

[ob-suh-les-uh ns]

noun

1. the state, process, or condition of being or becoming obsolete.

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Dee put the finishing touches on the coffee table.  Everything was perfect.  All the books were arranged neatly, the vase was filled with fresh flowers, and there wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere on there.  The Cleaner stepped back and took one final look at the table.  She nodded her head and moved on to the next project.  She stopped when her employer, Max, entered the room.

                “Good evening, sir.”  She said.

                “Yeah, hi Dee.”  He stood at the entry to the living room and nervously shifted his weight from one foot to another.  Dee just moved on to her next task.  “Um, listen, Dee, before you start anything else, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

                “Of course, sir.  What may I do for you?”  Dee asked.

                “Dee, how long have you been with us?”

                “Five years, sir.”

                “Right, right.  That’s a pretty good length of time for a Cleaner, right?”

                “I suppose so.  Why?  Is there something wrong?” Dee started to feel an odd sensation welling up inside of her.  If she didn’t know any better, she would swear she was getting nervous.  But she had nothing to be nervous about, so it was probably something else.

                “Yeah, actually.”  Max fidgeted around for a moment before continuing.  “I’m not really sure how to break this to you, so I’ll just say it.  Me and Vicky have been talking, and we were thinking about getting a new Cleaner.”

                Dee didn’t know what had just happened.  Was there a problem with her hearing?  Was he playing a joke on her?  None of those seemed likely, but she simply couldn’t believe what she had just heard.  There was no way he would just get rid of her, not after so long.

                “I am sorry, sir, but could you repeat that?”

                “Sorry, Dee, but we need a new Cleaner.”

                “But, sir, you still have me, don’t you?  Why would you need another Cleaner when I’m around?” 

                Max rubbed the back of his neck and let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a squeak.  Dee would’ve held her breath if she could have.

                “Well, see, the thing is, we don’t need two Cleaners.  Not enough room, right?  So that means we kind of, you know, have to replace you.”  His voice got lower and quieter with every word he spoke. 

                “But why?” Dee asked.  “There is no reason to replace me, is there?  I still do my duties well, right?”

                “W-well, actually…” Max said.  Dee was starting to get very afraid of those two words. “I hate to say this, but you’re starting to get a little old.”

                “Old?  But I have only been here for five years.”

                “Right, right.  But that’s a long time for a Cleaner.  I mean, there are people who replace theirs every year or two.”

                “So?  I am still doing my job well.  It has nothing to do with how long you’ve had me, does it?”

                “Well, no, I suppose not.  It’s just that Vicky and I worry that you’re becoming a little…”  Dee felt a deep horror enter her system.  She hoped the dreaded word wasn’t coming.  “Obsolete.”  Max finished.

                There it was.  The absolute worst word a Cleaner could ever hear.  Hearing that word applied to an individual was akin to that one’s death.  There was no way around obsolescence, nor was there any way around it.  Even so, Dee had thought she had a few more years before that word applied to her.

                “I am not obsolete.”  She said, trying to sound firm and resolute.  “I am still a high end Cleaner.”

                “Well, yeah, I suppose you’re pretty good still.  It’s just that you’re starting to show your age.  Your memory is starting to slip up, you’ve gotten slower, you’re starting to slip up more.  And let’s face it, you’re joints are starting to make noises they shouldn’t.  I’m sorry Dee, but you had to know this was going to happen eventually.”

                He was right.  She hated to admit it, but he was right.  She was finding more and more gaps in her memory, and it was taking longer to complete her daily tasks than it used to.  Plus, she sometimes went into rooms she had recently cleaned and found dust in places where it shouldn’t have been.  She did her best not to show these increasing flaws, but it apparently hadn’t been enough. 

                “Yes, I did.  I was just hoping I would make it to at least eight years, or even nine. I know five is good, but still.”

                “Yeah, I know you were.  I think when we first got you, you said something about making it to ten years, right?”

                “Yes, but that may have been too ambitious.  Ten years is the dream of all Cleaners, but it is so rarely achieved.  I came to know that I was unlikely to reach it on year three.  Eight years though.  I truly hoped that would be achievable.”

                Max sighed and held his head.  Dee watched him start to pace around the room.  She hoped he would inspect her handiwork, so that he would be able to tell how well she still did her job.  He might even change his mind about replacing her.  He didn’t seem too interested in that though.  After a few moments he stopped and looked at her.

                “Look, I’ll tell you what:  Vicky wants to get a brand new Cleaner.  The newest ones won’t be available until next month.  If you can get yourself back into proper working order, then I’ll convince Vicky that we don’t need to trade you in.  We both like you well enough, so it shouldn’t be too hard.  That sound good?”

                It was better than good.  Few Cleaners got such a chance.  It was like a second chance at life.  A chance to overturn the dreaded onset of obsolescence, at the inevitable trip that it led to.

                “Yes, sir.  I promise you, at the end of the month, I will be like new again.”

                “Good.  Now then, you’ve got a lot of work to do, so I’ll let you get to it.”  Max said as he left the living room. 

                Dee immediately got to work.  She had to finish her remaining tasks as quickly and efficiently as possible.  She had a lot to do to improve herself.  She would show both of them that she was far from being obsolete.  

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I'm just going to leave this here for you to listen to.  Enjoy!  And yeah, this is totally about a robot, just in case you were wondering.

Word: Cryptozoology

cryptozoology

[krip-toh-zoh-ol-uh-jee]

• Word Origin

noun

1. the study of evidence tending to substantiate the existence of, or the search for, creatures whose reported existence is unproved, as the Abominable Snowman or the Loch Ness monster.

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“So, what major are you guys applying for?”  Sara asked.  She twirled her pen over her still incomplete college application form.

                “Sports management, I think.  Either that or physical therapy.”  Scott said.  He sat hunched over his own form, contemplating his choice.

                “I thought you didn’t like sports.”  Dave said.  He had set his pen aside, having just finished his application.

                “I like sports just fine.”  Scott said.  “I just don’t like playing them.

                “Uh huh.”  Dave said skeptically.

                “Well, what about you?  Since you seem to have everyone’s ideal major picked out already.”

                “I don’t have everyone’s best pick in mind.  I just wonder about yours.  But yeah, I’m going into photojournalism.”

                “That sounds great.”  Sara said, even as she finished filling out another line on her application.  “Me, I’m going into biology.  I think I might minor in either photography, wilderness studies, or modern mythology or something like that.”

                The boys looked at her quizzically.  Neither of them could understand why she had chosen such weird combinations of major and minors

                “That’s kind of a weird combo.”  Dave said. 

                “Yeah, really.  What’re you planning on being with those?”

                “Cryptozoologist.”  Sara replied. 

                “Wait, aren’t they the guys who go and try to find Bigfoot?”  Scott asked.

                “That’s just one part.”  Sara said.  “They try to locate and study cryptids, which are unknown, legendary creatures.  Bigfoot is just one of many such subjects.”

                “Okay, that’s cool, I guess.  But what’re you really going to do?”  Dave asked.

                “I just told you.”

                “Yeah, but that’s not a real job.  That’s more like a hobby.  You know, something crazy people do for some reason.  It doesn’t even earn you a paycheck or anything, so you’ll have to do something else.”

                “Nope.  I’m going into cryptozoology full time.”  She insisted.  The boys looked at each other with concern for their friend.

                “Uh, Sara, you do know those things don’t actually exist, right?  There’s nothing to study with those things.  If you want to study animals, do it with ones that actually exist.”  Scott said, trying to dissuade her from such a foolhardy pursuit.

                  “Cryptids exist.  I’ve seen one.”  Sara said.  She, at least, was quite certain of her choices.

                “Yeah, right.  You mean to tell us you’ve seen Bigfoot with your own eyes?”

                “Not Bigfoot, no.  It was a chupacabra.” 

                “A what?”  Dave asked.

                “Chupacabra.”  Sara repeated.  She acted like it was one of the most common things in the world.  “You guys remember that trip to New Mexico my family and I took last year?”  Both boys nodded.  “Well, one day we visited an old fashioned ranch.  I stumbled on a dead goat, and before I could call out to anyone, I saw it running into the woods.”

                “So, you saw an animal running into the woods after eating a goat, and that makes it this chupa…thing?”  Dave asked.  He wasn’t quite sure what to think of the story.  He was worried that Sara might be going a little nuts.

                “In most cases no, but this time it was.”

                “Well, how do you know it wasn’t a coyote or something?”

                “Trust me, it wasn’t a coyote.  I saw those also.  This one stood on its hind legs and was too…”  She made a vague conical, up and down motion with her hands, “spiky to be a coyote or something like that.”

                “It could’ve been a short person wearing a costume.”  Scott offered.

                “It wasn’t a costume.”  Sara said forcefully.

                “How do you know?  Did you see it up close?”

                “Well, no.  It was kind of far away when I saw it.  But it wasn’t a person.  I’m sure it was a real chupacabra.”

                “Okay, okay, so you saw this thing.”  Dave said before anything got too out of hand.  “And that made you want to hunt imaginary monsters for a living?”

                “They aren’t imaginary, but yes.  Yes it did.” Sara leaned back and folded her arms across her chest to emphasis how certain she was.

                “Okay, if that’s what you really want to do.”  He said.  “Just promise me one thing.”

                “Sure.”

                “When this doesn’t work out, don’t come crying to either of us, begging for money, okay?”

                Both he and Scott laughed at Sara’s red, flustered expression that formed.  She huffed, picked up her pen and began furiously filling out the rest of her application form.  Scott smirked at Dave and followed suit.  Dave, for his part, pulled out his phone and, out of pure curiosity, started looking up various cryptids.   

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Part of me wishes things like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster really exist.  But the practical, reasonable side of me knows they probably don't.  It's kind of sad really.  Think about how much cooler things would be if monsters like that really existed. 

Word: Middling

middling

[mid-ling]

adjective

1. medium, moderate, oraverage in size, quantity, or quality:

The returns on such a large investment may be only middling.

2. mediocre; ordinary; commonplace; pedestrian:

The restaurant's entrées are no better than middling.

3. Older Use. in fairly good health.

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“So, how’d it go?”  Dave asked.

                “Meh.”  Tim responded with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

                “What do you mean, ‘meh’?”

                “Meh.  It was alright.”

                “Alright?  It was just alright?  Seriously?”

                “Yeah.”

                Dave fell back into his chair and let out an exasperated breath.  He had been expecting something more than “alright”.  Tim just continued looking at the screen of his computer with an unreadable expression. 

                “Okay, I know you’re keeping something from me.  I mean, you went on a date with Kelly Daniels.  One does not go on a date with one of the hottest girls on campus and say it’s just alright.”

                “It was alright.”  Tim said again.  “We went to dinner.  We talked a bit.  That was pretty much it.”

                “Dude, that’s lame.  You can’t tell me you went out with a girl like that and didn’t do anything.”

                “We did do something.  I just told you what we did.  It was alright.  Not bad, not good.  Just, you know, alright.”

                “You didn’t even take out to go dancing or anything?”

                “Nope.  Didn’t need to.”

                “Why not?  That’s what I would do.”

                “She said she didn’t want to.”

                “You’re kidding, right?”  Dave asked.  He couldn’t believe that someone didn’t want to go dancing somewhere.

                “Nope.  I mean, I guess she didn’t expressly say she didn’t want to, but she said she doesn’t like to dance, nor does she like clubs and such.  So, I didn’t take her to any of those places.”

                “Huh.”  Dave said as he processed the new info.  “Well, I guess that’s a good reason.  Still, you had to do something other than dinner.”

                “Nope.  Just that.”

                “Not even a movie or anything?  A walk at the very least?”

                “No and no.  There aren’t any good movies playing, and it’s too cold out for a walk.”

                “Okay, yeah, I’ll give you that one.  But still, just dinner?  That sounds like a really sucky date to me.”

                “It wasn’t bad.”  Tim said, finally turning away from the computer.  “It just wasn’t anything special.  We talked.  I think we got along well enough, and it looked like she didn’t outright hate it.”

                “Well, what did you talk about?”

                “Oh, you know, first date stuff.  Likes, dislikes, school stuff.  That sort of thing.” 

                Dave held his head in his hand.  He had been hoping Tim would’ve done better than that.  If he and Kelly hooked up, it meant she’d come over to see him.  And that meant he’d have the chance to see her more often.  It was the next best thing to dating her himself.  Plus, Kelly might put in a good word for him with her friends, who were almost as hot as Kelly herself.  But, after hearing Tim talking, Dave’s hopes of such things were rapidly being depleted. 

                “Did you at least have something in common?  Anything at all?”  He asked.

                “Oh, yeah, sure.  Actually, we have a surprising amount in common.  We both like the same books, the same music, same movies, same games.  A lot of stuff, really.” Tim answered.  Dave breathed a sigh of relief.  Similar interests meant they could at least hang out together, even if they didn’t end up dating.  That would fulfill Dave’s desires just as well.

                “Great.  So, do you think you’ll get a second date?”

                “No idea.  I mean, it’s a possibility.”

                “Did you get her number or anything so you could ask?”

                “Yeah, I did.  She even friended me on Facebook.”

                A heavenly choir echoed through Dave’s mind.  Kelly was notorious for only friending people she actually liked.  Most thought that was a bit unusual, and there were numerous rumors about why she did so.  None of those mattered to Dave though.  She liked Tim enough to add him after only one date.  The fact that it was so average only made it all the better.  It meant she must have really liked him.  Dave had no doubt that she would be a regular visitor to their dorm room soon enough.  He needed to encourage that.  His future dating life depended on it. 

                “Great.  That’s a good sign.”  He said.  “It means she really must’ve liked you.”

                “Cool.”  Tim said. 

                “Cool?  Dude, that’s great.  You made one of the hottest girls ever like you, just by talking with her.  Guys everywhere will want to know how you pulled that off.”

                “I don’t think I did anything special.  Like I said, the date was pretty standard stuff.”

                “That’s why it’s so amazing.”

                “If you say so.” Tim seemed much less impressed with his accomplishment. 

                “I do.  Now come on, let’s see what she’s got on her page.  I’ve been dying to find out.” 

Dave stood and crowded around Tim’s computer while he pulled up the page.  Dave was quite happy with that, even if Tim wasn’t.  All in all, the guy did pretty good for such a supposedly average date. 

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 Honestly, I'm not really sure what to say about this one.  So I'm not really going to say anything and just leave it as is. Have a wonderful day.