cryptozoology
[krip-toh-zoh-ol-uh-jee]
1. the study of evidence tending to substantiate the existence of, or the search for, creatures whose reported existence is unproved, as the Abominable Snowman or the Loch Ness monster.
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“So, what major are you guys applying for?” Sara asked.
She twirled her pen over her still incomplete college application form.
“Sports
management, I think. Either that or
physical therapy.” Scott said. He sat hunched over his own form, contemplating
his choice.
“I
thought you didn’t like sports.” Dave
said. He had set his pen aside, having just
finished his application.
“I like
sports just fine.” Scott said. “I just don’t like playing them.
“Uh
huh.” Dave said skeptically.
“Well,
what about you? Since you seem to have
everyone’s ideal major picked out already.”
“I don’t
have everyone’s best pick in mind. I
just wonder about yours. But yeah, I’m
going into photojournalism.”
“That
sounds great.” Sara said, even as she
finished filling out another line on her application. “Me, I’m going into biology. I think I might minor in either photography,
wilderness studies, or modern mythology or something like that.”
The
boys looked at her quizzically. Neither of
them could understand why she had chosen such weird combinations of major and
minors
“That’s
kind of a weird combo.” Dave said.
“Yeah,
really. What’re you planning on being
with those?”
“Cryptozoologist.” Sara replied.
“Wait,
aren’t they the guys who go and try to find Bigfoot?” Scott asked.
“That’s
just one part.” Sara said. “They try to locate and study cryptids, which
are unknown, legendary creatures. Bigfoot
is just one of many such subjects.”
“Okay,
that’s cool, I guess. But what’re you
really going to do?” Dave asked.
“I just
told you.”
“Yeah,
but that’s not a real job. That’s more
like a hobby. You know, something crazy
people do for some reason. It doesn’t
even earn you a paycheck or anything, so you’ll have to do something else.”
“Nope. I’m going into cryptozoology full time.” She insisted.
The boys looked at each other with concern for their friend.
“Uh,
Sara, you do know those things don’t actually exist, right? There’s nothing to study with those
things. If you want to study animals, do
it with ones that actually exist.” Scott
said, trying to dissuade her from such a foolhardy pursuit.
“Cryptids
exist. I’ve seen one.” Sara said.
She, at least, was quite certain of her choices.
“Yeah,
right. You mean to tell us you’ve seen
Bigfoot with your own eyes?”
“Not
Bigfoot, no. It was a chupacabra.”
“A
what?” Dave asked.
“Chupacabra.” Sara repeated. She acted like it was one of the most common
things in the world. “You guys remember
that trip to New Mexico my family and I took last year?” Both boys nodded. “Well, one day we visited an old fashioned
ranch. I stumbled on a dead goat, and
before I could call out to anyone, I saw it running into the woods.”
“So,
you saw an animal running into the woods after eating a goat, and that makes it
this chupa…thing?” Dave asked. He wasn’t quite sure what to think of the
story. He was worried that Sara might be
going a little nuts.
“In
most cases no, but this time it was.”
“Well,
how do you know it wasn’t a coyote or something?”
“Trust
me, it wasn’t a coyote. I saw those
also. This one stood on its hind legs
and was too…” She made a vague conical,
up and down motion with her hands, “spiky to be a coyote or something like
that.”
“It
could’ve been a short person wearing a costume.” Scott offered.
“It
wasn’t a costume.” Sara said forcefully.
“How do
you know? Did you see it up close?”
“Well,
no. It was kind of far away when I saw
it. But it wasn’t a person. I’m sure it was a real chupacabra.”
“Okay,
okay, so you saw this thing.” Dave said
before anything got too out of hand. “And
that made you want to hunt imaginary monsters for a living?”
“They
aren’t imaginary, but yes. Yes it did.”
Sara leaned back and folded her arms across her chest to emphasis how certain
she was.
“Okay,
if that’s what you really want to do.”
He said. “Just promise me one
thing.”
“Sure.”
“When
this doesn’t work out, don’t come crying to either of us, begging for money,
okay?”
Both he
and Scott laughed at Sara’s red, flustered expression that formed. She huffed, picked up her pen and began
furiously filling out the rest of her application form. Scott smirked at Dave and followed suit. Dave, for his part, pulled out his phone and,
out of pure curiosity, started looking up various cryptids.
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Part of me wishes things like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster really exist. But the practical, reasonable side of me knows they probably don't. It's kind of sad really. Think about how much cooler things would be if monsters like that really existed.
Probably don't exist????
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